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Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Father Flanagan"2nd Place Finish
9 total reviews
Comment from Soledadpaz
Nice: sin-riddled mess of a soul.
An introspective chapter, fleshing out more of Morgan's character. Gives us some insight into what makes Morgan Morgan.
And leaves us wondering a bit. Kelly?
Sol
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Nice: sin-riddled mess of a soul.
An introspective chapter, fleshing out more of Morgan's character. Gives us some insight into what makes Morgan Morgan.
And leaves us wondering a bit. Kelly?
Sol
Comment Written 23-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Sol! We are racing to the finish line!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You pulled this out of the crapper and into a clean facility, using scrubbing bubbles. This was a very interesting way to turn the tide. I enjoyed the daddy talk. I think he will not get to be a cop. But, I don't see him going to prison.When the level the charges they put everything in it. so when he is proven not guilty he is wiped clean. My View. Karen
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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You pulled this out of the crapper and into a clean facility, using scrubbing bubbles. This was a very interesting way to turn the tide. I enjoyed the daddy talk. I think he will not get to be a cop. But, I don't see him going to prison.When the level the charges they put everything in it. so when he is proven not guilty he is wiped clean. My View. Karen
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Two stars in one week? You are such a doll! I appreciate you. Let's finish this beast!
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I just posted! Love your stuff.
Karen
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Thank you!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I can't wait to see what Morgan has to say to Kelly. He's on the right path. I pray he keeps on that path. I do hope the miracle of this baby will keep him on it. I do like this story.
With the three hour drive to Seattle and his planned stops, (three-hour & planned??? Maybe plane?? Not he's off the plane, I don't understand this???)
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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I can't wait to see what Morgan has to say to Kelly. He's on the right path. I pray he keeps on that path. I do hope the miracle of this baby will keep him on it. I do like this story.
With the three hour drive to Seattle and his planned stops, (three-hour & planned??? Maybe plane?? Not he's off the plane, I don't understand this???)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Is the - always needed in the hour situation.
Three - hour.
Six-hour
Etc?
Great catch on planned. I switched the word
To intended. Hope that alleviated the confusion.
Bless you!
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The short answer, after checking my numerous books to make sure is yes, used this way the time needs a hyphen. There's a much longer answer but I'll leave it at that. No, I won't because it's confusing. three-hour is describing the drive. If you said, The trip took three hours, no, hyphen. Clear as mud, right??
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Yes. Thank you. I didn?t know the rule.
Comment from Terry Broxson
Douglas, unconventional sin needs unconventional methods. LOL, that is a great line, and it surely applies to Morgan. If you really wanted to complicate the story, Morgan could find himself the daddy-to-be for several kids. It's a well-done chapter. Terry.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Douglas, unconventional sin needs unconventional methods. LOL, that is a great line, and it surely applies to Morgan. If you really wanted to complicate the story, Morgan could find himself the daddy-to-be for several kids. It's a well-done chapter. Terry.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Ha! Not if all the women die. Wait. . . What?
I don?t think my lady readers could handle multi-pregnancies. They say it is already too fast paced.
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LOL, Morgan has been a busy boy!
Comment from Julie Helms
Ahh, when All else fails...God!
Nothing like a baby to snap you to attention!
Find something to live for. (I would put this in italics as a thought)
Forgive me father (Forgive me, Father,)
A sad looking Jesus (sad-looking)
Julie
:-)
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Ahh, when All else fails...God!
Nothing like a baby to snap you to attention!
Find something to live for. (I would put this in italics as a thought)
Forgive me father (Forgive me, Father,)
A sad looking Jesus (sad-looking)
Julie
:-)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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More great fixes! I really appreciate being able to count on you! You are a real blessing. Thank you!
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You are very welcome! :-)
Comment from Tom Horonzy
... and tomorrow morning, the Son will rise, and the guilty party will surrender. Wouldn't that be an answer to Morgie's prayer? But, you're likely needing more chapters so I won't hold my breath for this to end manana.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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... and tomorrow morning, the Son will rise, and the guilty party will surrender. Wouldn't that be an answer to Morgie's prayer? But, you're likely needing more chapters so I won't hold my breath for this to end manana.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Morgan?s is still under a heavy legal hammer. Prison a good ending? H! We shall see. . .
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I think Tamra is going to kill him, hence the back door instruction. And this is Morgan now putting his affairs in order, oblivious to her plans (but to increase the poignancy of the reader's investment in his character). Or you're just teasing again? I like the dialogue between Father Flanagan and Morgan. It's light in tone but doesn't sway from the importance of this moment of hopeful redemption for Morgan. Para starting 'The man... (just say 'He') They say (y)ou know (a) person's heart. An enjoyable read with this engaging build-up continuing to your conclusion. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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I think Tamra is going to kill him, hence the back door instruction. And this is Morgan now putting his affairs in order, oblivious to her plans (but to increase the poignancy of the reader's investment in his character). Or you're just teasing again? I like the dialogue between Father Flanagan and Morgan. It's light in tone but doesn't sway from the importance of this moment of hopeful redemption for Morgan. Para starting 'The man... (just say 'He') They say (y)ou know (a) person's heart. An enjoyable read with this engaging build-up continuing to your conclusion. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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You certainly are focused on Tamra! Thank you for the many fixes and help! Appreciate it!
Comment from royowen
I think Morgan sounds a little like me, and is amazed that God will actually listen, He doesn't care what we've done, He only cares about what we'll can do, this is beautifully written, blessings Douglas, Roy
Typo : The screen (slide) poem, slid?
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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I think Morgan sounds a little like me, and is amazed that God will actually listen, He doesn't care what we've done, He only cares about what we'll can do, this is beautifully written, blessings Douglas, Roy
Typo : The screen (slide) poem, slid?
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Thanks for the helpful fix and awesome review, Roy!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Good move, getting Morgan to church.
Nice chapter. Keeping Morgan out of jail will be a challenge, especially if he's gonna be out there investigating.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Good move, getting Morgan to church.
Nice chapter. Keeping Morgan out of jail will be a challenge, especially if he's gonna be out there investigating.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Wayne. I see handcuffs in his future. . .
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Totally unsolicited, but here's how the altar scene would play in a Ben Persons story -
Unsure how to proceed, Morgan forced himself to his knees, wanting to look to the priest for direction. He glanced to the crucifix as an object for his speech. He had in mind what to say: a modified repeat of what he'd confessed along with how he felt about his wife's selfish action. Before he could formulate his peeve with respect to God's leaving him on his own during his entire adult life, Morgan again glanced to the cross. He saw himself on the cross, paying penance for his many sins. Overwhelmed with grief for his many failures, Morgan found himself splayed before God Almighty. Then he was suddenly filled with an overpowering sense of God's love and forgiveness. After some moments, Morgan inched himself to his feet, he again turned to the Christ on the cross, the Son of God having taken his place. "Thank you," he mumbled aloud. Not bothering to wipe his tear-soaked face, Morgan strode from the sanctuary with the boldness of a man forgiven.
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That is sweet. Would be a great final chapter. Problem is Morgan isn?t all in yet. Plus I have people who still think he may be the killer. I know. Seems to obvious. Plus we hear his thoughts. Guess it could be psychosis or blackouts, but I have a different twist in mind.