Right in the Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Right In The Eye, ch 2"The adventures and reaches of people with a divine
13 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
How many people I wonder would do that today ? I have heard of people in comas living complete lives in thier dreaming as if it were truly real. I wonder if there is really any difference? Karen
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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How many people I wonder would do that today ? I have heard of people in comas living complete lives in thier dreaming as if it were truly real. I wonder if there is really any difference? Karen
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Thank you for the review.
I imagine every case is a little different.
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:-)
Comment from BethShelby
This is good story but you say Ben never saw slim again. Are w never to know how Slim story ends and whether he lived and got his claim back unless he is a real person?
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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This is good story but you say Ben never saw slim again. Are w never to know how Slim story ends and whether he lived and got his claim back unless he is a real person?
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Oh, yes! This will be Slim's story for a while. But we're not done with Ben and his son, Ben Paul.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Wayne,
You have a nice easy style of writing that is pleasant to read, and makes your story flow nicely. You are very good at descriptions, and that sets a stage where we feel we are really there in the action.
I like the dialogue between a man who's a good Samaritan and the unconscious man he's helping. It was a great technique.
Great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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Hi Wayne,
You have a nice easy style of writing that is pleasant to read, and makes your story flow nicely. You are very good at descriptions, and that sets a stage where we feel we are really there in the action.
I like the dialogue between a man who's a good Samaritan and the unconscious man he's helping. It was a great technique.
Great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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Thank you. I really appreciate your very encouraging review.
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I enjoy your work!
Comment from jim vecchio
Sure wish I had a pouch full of sixes just for you! I love westerns, though I can't write them often. It isn't often God and Christianity are mentioned often nowadays, in westerns (or anywhere!). Also, even in the good ol' days, I often wondered what they do with injured or anyone's private physical needs, but it was unheard of to mention that in those days. Excellent! Don't worry about the length! It's their absence that would bother me!
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Sure wish I had a pouch full of sixes just for you! I love westerns, though I can't write them often. It isn't often God and Christianity are mentioned often nowadays, in westerns (or anywhere!). Also, even in the good ol' days, I often wondered what they do with injured or anyone's private physical needs, but it was unheard of to mention that in those days. Excellent! Don't worry about the length! It's their absence that would bother me!
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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smiley face here
Thank you for your great support and reviews.
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Always enjoy your work! Especially western!
Comment from Ric Myworld
I found it a little shocking that Ben never sees Slim again. Such a good character creation that us fans and readers are never going to read about again. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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I found it a little shocking that Ben never sees Slim again. Such a good character creation that us fans and readers are never going to read about again. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you.
But Ben isn't completely gone. Neither is Ben Paul.
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I didn?t think Ben was gone. I was talking about Slim. 🙃
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I didn?t think Ben was gone. I was talking about Slim. 🙃
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It'll be Slim's story for a while.
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Awesome!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Really good descriptive writing of Ben's struggle to get Slim on the horse and then steering with his knees toward Creede.
Goldman - great name for a man looking for gold:-)
Loved Slim's monologue - lots of backstory and emotion.
I found these chapters to be interesting, well-written and full of detail and imagery.
A good start to this book, Wayne.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Really good descriptive writing of Ben's struggle to get Slim on the horse and then steering with his knees toward Creede.
Goldman - great name for a man looking for gold:-)
Loved Slim's monologue - lots of backstory and emotion.
I found these chapters to be interesting, well-written and full of detail and imagery.
A good start to this book, Wayne.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you so very much!
And thank you for the six stars!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a good selection. Ben, as Ben does, helped a stranger who couldn't even thank him. I hope Slim wakes up and gets to make his dream come true as I thought he had found a cache of gold. One question: What does this mean? Ben finally (dosed?) off . . .
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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This is a good selection. Ben, as Ben does, helped a stranger who couldn't even thank him. I hope Slim wakes up and gets to make his dream come true as I thought he had found a cache of gold. One question: What does this mean? Ben finally (dosed?) off . . .
Comment Written 18-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Dozed off. Thank you for catching that.
And thank you for your very kind review.
Comment from Jim Wile
I liked the way you had Slim talking even while in the throes of a coma. I thought this flowed fine even though you had to finish one chapter and start the next. It wasn't disconcerting.
I've found that since FanStory appears to be the main audience for my novels, I seem to have geared their length to a good FanStory length with most of mine now being between 1,200 and 1,800 words. But this approach works too.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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I liked the way you had Slim talking even while in the throes of a coma. I thought this flowed fine even though you had to finish one chapter and start the next. It wasn't disconcerting.
I've found that since FanStory appears to be the main audience for my novels, I seem to have geared their length to a good FanStory length with most of mine now being between 1,200 and 1,800 words. But this approach works too.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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Exactly what I learned to do with Ben and Tony. But the initial chapter of Right In The Eye...
thank you for your very kind review.
Comment from lyenochka
What an amazing man Ben is. I like how you show us how conscious an unconscious person could be. I have heard that comatose people hear everything around them. What a great doctor to treat for free. Now I'm wondering how Slim will survive with the bullet in his brain. Hope the sanitarium will be as generous.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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What an amazing man Ben is. I like how you show us how conscious an unconscious person could be. I have heard that comatose people hear everything around them. What a great doctor to treat for free. Now I'm wondering how Slim will survive with the bullet in his brain. Hope the sanitarium will be as generous.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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Thank you. Now we ride with Slim for a while, leaving Ben and Ben Paul, a huge break from the Ben and Tony segments. we'll see if it works.
Comment from Mintybee
This is the first chapter of this story I've read. It seems interesting. I liked the dialogue. I liked the way the exposition was woven through daydreams and guesses at sanitorium politics so the story kept moving while we got extra information.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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This is the first chapter of this story I've read. It seems interesting. I liked the dialogue. I liked the way the exposition was woven through daydreams and guesses at sanitorium politics so the story kept moving while we got extra information.
Mintybee
Comment Written 18-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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Thank you. It's actually the 113th chapter of 'One man's Calling'. But I'm trying to make this independent enough for readers to jump in. Thank you!
