The Effra
The Effra is one of London's lost rivers.26 total reviews
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Your poem paints a vivid picture of the Effra River's journey through its historic landscape. The imagery effectively conveys the river's meandering path and natural beauty, engaging readers with its descriptions. The consistent rhyme scheme adds a musical quality, though varying the rhythm slightly could enhance the natural flow and avoid predictability. The poem successfully evokes nostalgia and loss, reflecting on the river's disappearance, but adding more historical context about why the river was buried could enrich the narrative. The ending is poignant, but the transition to the river's fate might benefit from refinement to clarify its final state and how it becomes "un-noticed." Overall, it's a thoughtful and evocative piece. Well done!
Original line:
"As it meets the Thames at Battersea / Un-noticed through a drain."
Revised line:
"Meeting the Thames at Battersea, / Now hidden in a drain's embrace."
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Your poem paints a vivid picture of the Effra River's journey through its historic landscape. The imagery effectively conveys the river's meandering path and natural beauty, engaging readers with its descriptions. The consistent rhyme scheme adds a musical quality, though varying the rhythm slightly could enhance the natural flow and avoid predictability. The poem successfully evokes nostalgia and loss, reflecting on the river's disappearance, but adding more historical context about why the river was buried could enrich the narrative. The ending is poignant, but the transition to the river's fate might benefit from refinement to clarify its final state and how it becomes "un-noticed." Overall, it's a thoughtful and evocative piece. Well done!
Original line:
"As it meets the Thames at Battersea / Un-noticed through a drain."
Revised line:
"Meeting the Thames at Battersea, / Now hidden in a drain's embrace."
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Patty,
Thanks so much for your review. I also thank you for your suggestions as to improvement. I will seriously consider them.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold
Comment from Libby Keers
Hi Barry! Thank you so much for this lovely melancholic poem. The back story about the rivers is so devastating but the way you honored the Effra's memory through your rhymes was beautiful. You created a perfect image of her soft waters. Thank you again :)
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Hi Barry! Thank you so much for this lovely melancholic poem. The back story about the rivers is so devastating but the way you honored the Effra's memory through your rhymes was beautiful. You created a perfect image of her soft waters. Thank you again :)
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Wow. Thanks, Libby for the six-star review. I am so glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully, there will be improvement within all the river systems which will clearly benefit everyone.
Cheers
Barry Penfold
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Barry,
The sadness in your words it's overwhelming. It seems too much civilization ruins animal and plant life, and healthy flowing streams.
Your photo is lovely and complements you well-crafted rhyming poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Cindy
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Barry,
The sadness in your words it's overwhelming. It seems too much civilization ruins animal and plant life, and healthy flowing streams.
Your photo is lovely and complements you well-crafted rhyming poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Cindy
Comment Written 20-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Cindy,
Thanks for your review on my poem. Glad you enjoyed the read, although it is very sad. As you say, civilization often destroys what was once a beautiful thing. Take Care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Nicki.B
What a wonderful little poem about the life and journey of the river. Very vice imagery too go along with it. Lovely references to the places it passes through.well done
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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What a wonderful little poem about the life and journey of the river. Very vice imagery too go along with it. Lovely references to the places it passes through.well done
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Nicki,
Thanks for your review and so glad you enjoyed the read. There are quite a number of other rivers that have suffered a similar fate.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
That's a real bittersweet poem but very well written and thought out;-) I feel bad for the little river;-(
Thanks for sharing and many blessings for you!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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That's a real bittersweet poem but very well written and thought out;-) I feel bad for the little river;-(
Thanks for sharing and many blessings for you!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Melodie,
Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold
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;-)
Comment from Douglas Goff
Goodness. I hope that we do not ruin them all. There has to be a balance between growth and nature.
Great and informative read, Barry. Thank you!
D
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Goodness. I hope that we do not ruin them all. There has to be a balance between growth and nature.
Great and informative read, Barry. Thank you!
D
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Doug,
Thanks for the review. I agree there does have to be a balance between growth and nature. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers,
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Erika Whittle
This is a wonderful tribute to a river that has unfortunately lost it's life. I feel a similar way about old, abandoned buildings. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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This is a wonderful tribute to a river that has unfortunately lost it's life. I feel a similar way about old, abandoned buildings. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Erica,
Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Communities should redeem their rivers. Urban sprawl should be stopped. Universal medicine should be free to all. Unnecessary plastic surgery for bigger boob sand bigger butts, and bigger pecs and calves should be banned. Off soap box now. Good writing. Karen
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Communities should redeem their rivers. Urban sprawl should be stopped. Universal medicine should be free to all. Unnecessary plastic surgery for bigger boob sand bigger butts, and bigger pecs and calves should be banned. Off soap box now. Good writing. Karen
Comment Written 11-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Well, got that lot of your chest. Must feel better. I agree with you but it will not happen- a worthy dream though. Thanks for the review and there is some chance the Effra and other lost rivers will revive somewhat in the years to come. Lets wait and see.
Have a great day.
Cheers
Barry
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I believe either because of sanity or a EMP we will be going back to a more agraian society in the future. Where people are the power, not machines. Maybe it's just a dream.
Comment from Dimzdale1
Beautifully written sir. I took the time to look this up, a shame the name now banners a non-profit organization of the EU that promotes expanding industry and manufacturing. Thank you for your artistry.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Beautifully written sir. I took the time to look this up, a shame the name now banners a non-profit organization of the EU that promotes expanding industry and manufacturing. Thank you for your artistry.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Thanks for taking the time to look my poem up. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks also for the interesting information the use of the name now. That is a bit unfortunate. Keep writing and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
There's something poignant and pensive about this. Good alliteration. When we pronounce the P or B word a little explosion happens within our mouth. A great tribute to a precious river.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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There's something poignant and pensive about this. Good alliteration. When we pronounce the P or B word a little explosion happens within our mouth. A great tribute to a precious river.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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Thanks Liz, for the kind review. The Effra was once free flowing. Now, as the poem depicts it is basically a drain. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
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You also, Barry