Gray Matters
Summer of 202220 total reviews
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your journey through heartache and loss is written here so well. The raw emotions and turmoil you've experienced are evident in each word. You have painted a clear picture of the pain and confusion you've endured. I'm happy to see that this is in the past! I love how you shared that part as well. Thank you for sharing such a personal story.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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Your journey through heartache and loss is written here so well. The raw emotions and turmoil you've experienced are evident in each word. You have painted a clear picture of the pain and confusion you've endured. I'm happy to see that this is in the past! I love how you shared that part as well. Thank you for sharing such a personal story.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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Thank you for such a nice review Michael!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Who is Lillian? You mention her under excuses, but did you talk about her at all beforehand? You might let us know who she is before you list her as an excuse.
I appreciate the stressful time you went through, and the stream of consciousness writing style that you used here can be very effective, I just felt it was long and redundant in places.
But I'm not a judge, and they may very well disagree with me. I do wish you luck in the contest.
I sincerely hope everything goes well for you in the future - less stress and more happy:-)
Take care,
Pam
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Who is Lillian? You mention her under excuses, but did you talk about her at all beforehand? You might let us know who she is before you list her as an excuse.
I appreciate the stressful time you went through, and the stream of consciousness writing style that you used here can be very effective, I just felt it was long and redundant in places.
But I'm not a judge, and they may very well disagree with me. I do wish you luck in the contest.
I sincerely hope everything goes well for you in the future - less stress and more happy:-)
Take care,
Pam
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Thank you so very much Pam. Lillian is my dog
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I thought so. You might mention that at the beginning when you first mention your dog.
xo
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Thanks. I realized that when you brought it up. It's great feedback!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely written.
You don't say how you met the new guy. That would be interesting.
I would be careful of co-dependency.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Nicely written.
You don't say how you met the new guy. That would be interesting.
I would be careful of co-dependency.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Dear Wayne,
Thank you for the review and the advice!
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there,
This story hurt my heart. I've been fortunate when it comes to love. I have been loved for over forty years by one manv years. The man who desires me isn't a part of my life, but I torture myself with 'What ifs' all the time. I finally stopped when our son told me he'd gotten himself a girlfriend.
Menopause does temper things for women - too bad men rarely can relate.
Thank you for sharing and Good Luck in the contest,
~Mustang~
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Hi there,
This story hurt my heart. I've been fortunate when it comes to love. I have been loved for over forty years by one manv years. The man who desires me isn't a part of my life, but I torture myself with 'What ifs' all the time. I finally stopped when our son told me he'd gotten himself a girlfriend.
Menopause does temper things for women - too bad men rarely can relate.
Thank you for sharing and Good Luck in the contest,
~Mustang~
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much Mustang. The "What if?s" can make you crazy. I'm glad you're no longer wondering.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading. It is hard to lose someone you love. Both losses so close together can be difficult. I do believe you're better off without the one guy. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading. It is hard to lose someone you love. Both losses so close together can be difficult. I do believe you're better off without the one guy. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Thank you so very much Barbara.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written, but very sad story you have written about. It made my heart sad as I read it. It had to be hard on you. You used very good descriptive words. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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This is a very well written, but very sad story you have written about. It made my heart sad as I read it. It had to be hard on you. You used very good descriptive words. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much Teri.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is an interesting self realization, questioning, encouraging, and self talk to ones self. You reveal your past disappointing eight years and encourage yourself with the hope of a new relationship. Your story is honest, revealing, and emotional. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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This is an interesting self realization, questioning, encouraging, and self talk to ones self. You reveal your past disappointing eight years and encourage yourself with the hope of a new relationship. Your story is honest, revealing, and emotional. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Thank you so very much!
Comment from nor84
Very dramatic and well-written, although I do see some problems with comma use.
You wrote: you're no, baby. 'You're' is a contraction of 'you are.' She's speaking to herself, so she should say: You're no baby. Comma not needed at all.
You wrote: He didn't fall out of love he fell into lust. A comma is needed after 'love.'
You wrote: That's why the quick break up. It should be: That's why the quick Breakup. When breakup is used as a verb, as in "I want to break up with you," it is two words. When it's a noun, i.e. a 'thing,' then it is one word.
It's like every day. I can write 'I go to work every day' and it's two words, but if I write 'I'm wearing my everyday shoes, it's one word because it's used as an adjective describing the noun 'shoes.'
I hope this review has been helpful, because that's what I intended.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Very dramatic and well-written, although I do see some problems with comma use.
You wrote: you're no, baby. 'You're' is a contraction of 'you are.' She's speaking to herself, so she should say: You're no baby. Comma not needed at all.
You wrote: He didn't fall out of love he fell into lust. A comma is needed after 'love.'
You wrote: That's why the quick break up. It should be: That's why the quick Breakup. When breakup is used as a verb, as in "I want to break up with you," it is two words. When it's a noun, i.e. a 'thing,' then it is one word.
It's like every day. I can write 'I go to work every day' and it's two words, but if I write 'I'm wearing my everyday shoes, it's one word because it's used as an adjective describing the noun 'shoes.'
I hope this review has been helpful, because that's what I intended.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much. I appreciate the feedback. :)
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is an interesting and engaging read! I like the way you use the second person to narrate your story, thus distancing yourself a little from the narrative, as though being your own counsellor. There's much grievance in the beginning - a loss of a partner and a father. But that, in turn, explains some of the hopelessness felt and the build-up of resentment. By the end and the epilogue, there's a fresh start. Time has elapsed and a new partner offers new opportunities. This is all very clearly expressed. There is a need, however, to do a proof read regarding the punctuation which is missing in places throughout. Under 'Excuses' - he says he's been falling (out) of love (remove the second 'out'). But an excellent entry in an original format. Well done and good luck, Ramona! Debbie
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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This is an interesting and engaging read! I like the way you use the second person to narrate your story, thus distancing yourself a little from the narrative, as though being your own counsellor. There's much grievance in the beginning - a loss of a partner and a father. But that, in turn, explains some of the hopelessness felt and the build-up of resentment. By the end and the epilogue, there's a fresh start. Time has elapsed and a new partner offers new opportunities. This is all very clearly expressed. There is a need, however, to do a proof read regarding the punctuation which is missing in places throughout. Under 'Excuses' - he says he's been falling (out) of love (remove the second 'out'). But an excellent entry in an original format. Well done and good luck, Ramona! Debbie
Comment Written 06-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much Debbie. Thank you for the punctuation feedback as well.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
A very insightful cat. I like the perspective you are taking with this with the personification. I guess it feels a little softer hearing it from a cat. Great insights: great insights "He's already moved on, you know. That's why the quick break up. He met someone. He didn't fall out of love he fell into lust. He couldn't just have an affair. He had to break up an eight-year relationship." space quote try saying undo delete select all help. .Thank you for being so vulnerable. This was a very poignant account.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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A very insightful cat. I like the perspective you are taking with this with the personification. I guess it feels a little softer hearing it from a cat. Great insights: great insights "He's already moved on, you know. That's why the quick break up. He met someone. He didn't fall out of love he fell into lust. He couldn't just have an affair. He had to break up an eight-year relationship." space quote try saying undo delete select all help. .Thank you for being so vulnerable. This was a very poignant account.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Meow. Thank you so very much!
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meow...you're welcome
