Eco For Whom?
Cobalt and nichel mines pollute soil and water.4 total reviews
Comment from LoAnn Beery
It is so very hard to know of so many injustices, and feel so helpless and unable to make a difference. This is why your Senryu is important. You had a chance to tell the reader
of this.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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It is so very hard to know of so many injustices, and feel so helpless and unable to make a difference. This is why your Senryu is important. You had a chance to tell the reader
of this.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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I appreciate your kind response, I just finished replying to a three star review for this poem .
I wonder how Elon Musk sleeps sound at night.
I?m tired of the lies and half truths. And the sufferings inflicted on others for our personal benefit.
Comment from Saki the Artist
This is a very interesting topic and point that you've brought up. I wonder how long it takes for an EV to make up for its carbon footprint (how much gasoline has to be burned by a regular car in order to be equivalent to the pollution caused by making an EV).
I like the statement a lot, but I'm making my rating of the poem purely on the poem itself. I think that this poem doesn't really embody the spirit of a Senryu, whose "subject is based human nature" according to the FanStory description. Yes, you are talking about humans, and a statement on capitalism and greenwashing is human nature-adjacent, but the poem is very specific instead of a more universal statement.
Although this poem fulfills the minimum requirements of having the correct number of syllables, it doesn't *feel* like a poem. It still reads as a regular sentence. The reason poems have line breaks is to give the poem phrasing and time. Typically, the reader would pause in between lines. Otherwise the prompt would say to write a one-line poem with 17 syllables, instead of a three line poem with 5, 7, and 6 syllables.
Anyway, that's my feedback on the poem. I hope you find it useful.
I really appreciate you posting this information (and the videos) to the public here, because it's an important topic that should be known, discussed, and addressed.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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This is a very interesting topic and point that you've brought up. I wonder how long it takes for an EV to make up for its carbon footprint (how much gasoline has to be burned by a regular car in order to be equivalent to the pollution caused by making an EV).
I like the statement a lot, but I'm making my rating of the poem purely on the poem itself. I think that this poem doesn't really embody the spirit of a Senryu, whose "subject is based human nature" according to the FanStory description. Yes, you are talking about humans, and a statement on capitalism and greenwashing is human nature-adjacent, but the poem is very specific instead of a more universal statement.
Although this poem fulfills the minimum requirements of having the correct number of syllables, it doesn't *feel* like a poem. It still reads as a regular sentence. The reason poems have line breaks is to give the poem phrasing and time. Typically, the reader would pause in between lines. Otherwise the prompt would say to write a one-line poem with 17 syllables, instead of a three line poem with 5, 7, and 6 syllables.
Anyway, that's my feedback on the poem. I hope you find it useful.
I really appreciate you posting this information (and the videos) to the public here, because it's an important topic that should be known, discussed, and addressed.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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My point was that Elon Musk has nothing to boast about seeing mining cobalt and nickel is destroying the environment in vast potions of the Congo and Indonesia.
Not to speak about child labour.
Elon Musk is a liar telling everyone that EVs will help keep our planet cleaner when he is well aware of the environmental disaster cobalt and nichel mining produces in other countries. It?s obvious he doesn?t care.
Hence my title :
Eco for who?
He is a hypocrite.
Human nature includes how we think, feel, and act.
I dont think your assessment on my poem is correct but
all good
I appreciate you read it and offered feedback.
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Yes, I already agree with your stance on Elon. The feedback was on the poem itself, mostly regarding the line breaks and use of the form.
I also forgot to mention that it should be "for whom" instead of "for who" in the title, if you're going for grammatical accuracy.
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Yes, I already agree with your stance on Elon. The feedback was on the poem itself, mostly regarding the line breaks and use of the form.
I also forgot to mention that it should be "for whom" instead of "for who" in the title, if you're going for grammatical accuracy.
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Thanks I will edit
When I subscribed I thought it would be a good opportunity to practice my English also.
Poetry I started writing the day I subscribed in July 2018.
Stay safe 🍀
Comment from Julie Helms
Bingo! Bingo! Bingo! And it's not just Elon Musk. The whole politicized climate movement is at fault for this. Thank you for bringing this issue forward, though it probably won't be very popular around here. Julie.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Bingo! Bingo! Bingo! And it's not just Elon Musk. The whole politicized climate movement is at fault for this. Thank you for bringing this issue forward, though it probably won't be very popular around here. Julie.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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I figured.
Your kind review is the second in more than 24 hours.
All good , wanted mainly to expose the truth.
I used to be a huge fan of Elon Musk but I realised now the many lies behind the eco revolution.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A poignant write, there is much controversy about electric cars just now and whether they are as eco friendly as they make out, an informative post, love Dolly x x. x
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2024
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A poignant write, there is much controversy about electric cars just now and whether they are as eco friendly as they make out, an informative post, love Dolly x x. x
Comment Written 03-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2024
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The videos are an eye opener .. EVs come at a high price for others.
Elon Musk big talk about a cleaner world but to make his EV batteries countries like Congo and Indonesia are being exploited , their soil, water polluted.
Their future is at stake.
Seeing children working in those mines in the Congo made me sick.
Thank you for reviewing not many here on fanstory care what is happening beyond their country.
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I watched the video, it is appalling.
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☹️ exactly.
This world could be so beautiful if we only would work together instead of wasting energy, money fighting wars, hating each other.
We are leaving future generations a poisoned planet.
I thought after the pandemic we would come together as one
unite our forces and get mankind back on track .
Instead in less than two years we have two major wars waging,
the global economy has nosedived.
Earth is a mess.