What We See
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "What We See - Chapter 16"A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life
19 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Trusting people is very difficult if one is naturally suspicious for whatever, you've obviously thought about this quite deeply I think, the problem about rumours is that one has to educate oneself to accept and look at things in innocence gather than form an opinion on scant information, or second hand evidence. "Be as wise as a serpent, but as gentle as a lamb." Jesus wouldn't accuse with hard evidence, or the certainty of spiritual discernment, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Trusting people is very difficult if one is naturally suspicious for whatever, you've obviously thought about this quite deeply I think, the problem about rumours is that one has to educate oneself to accept and look at things in innocence gather than form an opinion on scant information, or second hand evidence. "Be as wise as a serpent, but as gentle as a lamb." Jesus wouldn't accuse with hard evidence, or the certainty of spiritual discernment, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Right you are, Roy. It was fine for Ginnie to be protective and wary, but she really needed to at least listen to what Alan had to say before coming down so hard on him. She has trust issues that will be made clear soon. This will be a real turning point for her, and maybe something like this was needed to bring it to a head and get her to change.
Comment from Kaiku
Hey Jim, I have to ask a question. After reading this particular chapter, I am questioning David's common sense. His narrative comes across as him being a bit slow. I don't want to blame dyslexia for this, or should I?
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Hey Jim, I have to ask a question. After reading this particular chapter, I am questioning David's common sense. His narrative comes across as him being a bit slow. I don't want to blame dyslexia for this, or should I?
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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I have a feeling I know what you're referring to, but it would be better if you told me what makes you think he is being slow, and let's see if I can explain it or if I agree with you. In this case, it would not be his dyslexia causing what you might regard as his slowness.
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For his age and education, I believe he is acting too naive
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Yeah, you said that, but which lines in particular are you referring to? It's probably the line where he says, "I was shocked. What could she have heard, and why would she think that?" in response to her accusation of him as being a child molester.
Here's my thinking about that. He knows that a nurse stopped at the door at one point and heard Tina crying, and the next time he looked up, she was gone, but he doesn't remember exactly what they were talking about at that particular instant. Theirs was a long conversation, and Tina was upset through a lot of it, so for him to remember the exact thing that made the nurse assume that, without hearing Ginnie tell him exactly what the nurse told her, I don't think is being naive. It's only when Ginnie tells him what it was, that he now remembers the context and then understands how it was misconstrued. He gets really pissed when she accuses him of trying to come up with a lie and for how she automatically assumes he's guilty based on that single instance of hearsay.
If it's something other than this, please let me know so I can consider whether I want to change it or not. I will say that Alan is a bit naive, but so what? I want to show how he grows through the course of the story so that, by the end, when he faces another major challenge, he will be in a better position to handle it.
Inspiration for this character comes from both myself and especially my son, who, at that age, was similarly naive about things. Naivete has a lot to do with your parents and what they would allow, and the friends you chose in your youth. But there is such a thing as overdoing it, and I want to make sure I'm not doing that, so you can help me out here if you can make a good case for it.
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Thanks for such a thorough response. I will respond but I want to give it some additional thought.
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Jim, I reread the chapter. I can't really put my finger on the exact reason for my initial review other than that it read a bit forced. I believe the analogy of needing corrective glasses for a dyslexic brain seemed odd and then when he stated that 'she wanted to get 'fucked' seemed overly stark or blunt. But maybe that was the right word in this situation. Anyway, I should catch up on the Chapters and get a better understanding of Alan.
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The corrective lenses analogy may seem a bit odd, I grant you, but eventually, you'll come to see the reason for that. It's just a little hint I'm dropping.
The swear word is definitely uncharacteristic of Alan up to this point. He's always been mild-mannered and a little too even-keeled, so I felt it was time to show a little passion in him. This is the first time we've really seen him pissed off about something. You are noticing the correct things, Kevin.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I especially like the paragraph where Alan becomes frustrated over people "misinterpreting the written word and seeing something else that isn't there." This is the message of the story. We should be reluctant to draw conclusions based on a brief view of a situation.
Also, I was glad Alan hung up from Ginnie rather than stay on the phone whining like a victim. If a nurse friend could relate hearsay to Ginnie and it turned her away from her friend Alan, she needed to be gone.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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I especially like the paragraph where Alan becomes frustrated over people "misinterpreting the written word and seeing something else that isn't there." This is the message of the story. We should be reluctant to draw conclusions based on a brief view of a situation.
Also, I was glad Alan hung up from Ginnie rather than stay on the phone whining like a victim. If a nurse friend could relate hearsay to Ginnie and it turned her away from her friend Alan, she needed to be gone.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Gone, yes. But not forgotten. He stews about her, because he really likes her and just wishes she weren't this way.
You're definitely picking up on the meaning of this story, Lorraine. Pay special attention to my picture accompanying the story and my references to eyeglasses you'll encounter. They are clues to something coming.
Comment from tfawcus
The righteous indignation comes across strongly and also Alan/David's sense of frustration. I liked your 'corrective lenses for the brain'! I know a few people like that!
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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The righteous indignation comes across strongly and also Alan/David's sense of frustration. I liked your 'corrective lenses for the brain'! I know a few people like that!
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Yeah, I thought it was time to show a little passion in Alan. He's been a little too mild-mannered until now.
There is a particular reason I chose that metaphor of "corrective lenses for the brain" which we will see a little later.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
The "our baby" is certainly what someone would hear and how easy to misinterpret it. Of course, now Ginnie knows the story and I hope she confirmed it with Suzie. Bad things about people move at the speed of light. The truth has a lot harder time making the rounds.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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The "our baby" is certainly what someone would hear and how easy to misinterpret it. Of course, now Ginnie knows the story and I hope she confirmed it with Suzie. Bad things about people move at the speed of light. The truth has a lot harder time making the rounds.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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You're so right about that, Carol. Especially when there's a news story in the paper that turns out to be wrong. They will often issue a correction later, but it never garners as much attention as the original story, and is often tucked back in the paper and isn't really seen by many, the result being that many folks still maintain the original contention.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Well done David/alan. I'm cheering from the sidelines. A good reference bringing dyslexia in then.
Another great chapter Jim, you've really got a good roll on with this story.
Well done,
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Well done David/alan. I'm cheering from the sidelines. A good reference bringing dyslexia in then.
Another great chapter Jim, you've really got a good roll on with this story.
Well done,
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 03-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Thanks very much, Valda. The particular reference to "corrective lenses for the brain," which Alan said, will be relevant later in the story.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
It sounds as if Ginnie is ready to apologize for jumping to conclusions. Many people tend to that, it's not unusual. I didn't copy down any corrections. LOL
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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It sounds as if Ginnie is ready to apologize for jumping to conclusions. Many people tend to that, it's not unusual. I didn't copy down any corrections. LOL
Comment Written 03-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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If she's at all interested in maintaining and possibly advancing the relationship with Alan, she'd better look into verifying his story. Her remarks to Alan were awfully harsh, especially if proved to be wrong.
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Mother's will do anything if they fell their child is in danger.
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Yep, just like a momma bear.
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. I knew this was going to happen someday. Looks like Ginny could get past the rumors. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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This is another excellent chapter. I knew this was going to happen someday. Looks like Ginny could get past the rumors. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Yes, I guess I made it pretty obvious the way I worded what the nurse overheard from the hallway. We've got to see how interested Ginnie is to advance the relationship with Alan. He has issued her a challenge. Let's see if she follows up.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Jim,
this chapter was a little hard to read, just because the feelings were so raw. I can understand on the one hand where Ginnie is coming from. She's got to protect her son, and the idea that he would be visiting a potential child molester would be unthinkable. On the other hand, she listening to someone else's gossip. In an ideal world, she would have given him a chance to explain himself before jumping to conclusions. The dialogue was certainly believable. I'm glad Tommy is back to work. It sounds like Alan isn't going to hold a grudge against the son, just because of his mom. I'm hoping that the relationship between the two adults can be mended, but it will probably take some time. Well done Jim.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Hello Jim,
this chapter was a little hard to read, just because the feelings were so raw. I can understand on the one hand where Ginnie is coming from. She's got to protect her son, and the idea that he would be visiting a potential child molester would be unthinkable. On the other hand, she listening to someone else's gossip. In an ideal world, she would have given him a chance to explain himself before jumping to conclusions. The dialogue was certainly believable. I'm glad Tommy is back to work. It sounds like Alan isn't going to hold a grudge against the son, just because of his mom. I'm hoping that the relationship between the two adults can be mended, but it will probably take some time. Well done Jim.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 03-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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You understood my intentions perfectly, Tom. Ginnie is being put to the test now. It's in her hands to pursue this further or just give up on Alan. I agree that the interest of her child should be paramount, and she is like a mother bear and brooks no excuse when she sees a threat to her child. We'll gain more insight into this soon. I think you'll enjoy the next two chapters (which will be combined into one posting).
Thanks very much for the great review and the 6 stars, my friend! I always love reading your reviews.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is very well written albeit upsetting as a topic. Thought provoking. You use vivid imagery and aithentic dialogure. I enjoyed reviewing this, as will others. Well done. Have a good day!
Alex
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2024
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This is very well written albeit upsetting as a topic. Thought provoking. You use vivid imagery and aithentic dialogure. I enjoyed reviewing this, as will others. Well done. Have a good day!
Alex
Comment Written 03-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much, Alex. And thanks for those 6 stars too. It's very much appreciated. This is a tipping point in their relationship, and it's touch and go right now if it will last. I think both parties want it to, but there is a lot that needs to be discussed and overcome if they are to succeed. Let's see if they can do it.
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You're welcome. Reading along. :)