Reviews from

The Birds and the Bees

My story re: ...

8 total reviews 
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This story was very funny! I like that you told it mostly in dialogue. I also loved the last sentence. LOL! Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2024

reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    As always, I am appreciative.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes, this is way better than the talk I got in school. My mom couldn't bring herself to explain things to me. Her advice on my wedding day was basically, "Act like you enjoy it. Good luck." Your story was whimsical and humorous. It was fun to read. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024

reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    Thanks for the comments. ??? Act as you enjoy it. Did you have a sister named Myra? She didn't get the message.
    Inside joke. Don't concern yourself.
    And now let me go and read what you have written. Tom H
Comment from Austin Moore
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a well-written piece. I love the sweet and humorous tone of this story. Feel free to check out some of my works and give pointers if you like.

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2024

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
    Papa dearest, I have concerns.

    "What might they be, my cherished son?"

    I'll be turning twelve next week, and
    Mama said we need to speak about the birds and bees,
    and other such things like how Cissie came to be.

    "Ahem. She did now, did she?"

    (A thought bubble appears of the night his daughter was conceived.
    A smile follows. Mama must have had the same recollection. He smiles again.)

    Yes, she did.

    "Well, I suspect it's time. Cissie was conceived beneath the sheets one night.
    The lights were low, but your mother glowed. Biologically, she was ripe."

    I don't understand. What's that to do with birds and bees?

    "Mom was chirping like a 'full-breasted Chat, causing me to busy myself
    like a bee tracing flowers, touching here and there, until ...
    she shrieked like an Eastern Screech Owl, which only lasted as long as I did
    before becoming a squawking Blue Jay demanding more honey than I had to offer.
    I appreciate your stopping by, and I will indeed take a look at thee and comment but rarely will critique as writing is what a writer does, and maybe a misspelled word or uncoupled couplet I stay mute save for joy.


Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, this one-minute lesson on the birds and the bees definitely incorporates imagery from the birds and bees. I liked reading it. I had a suggestion to correct "Forst Gump" to "Forrest Gump."

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2024

reply by the author on 26-Feb-2024
    Yep. I'll do Forrest immediately. Sad that it got through uncorrected. Thanks.
Comment from Sueswrite
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh, what a great little story! Truly formatted precisely as expected and your creativity using different fonts added to the charismatic conversations of each character. I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing! Best wishes!

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2024

reply by the author on 26-Feb-2024
    Thank you, and welcome to my den of iniquity. Please return as time allows. Meanwhile, I'll take a look-see at what you have posted. I appreciate having buddies and fans. Tom
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This put a big smile on my face! You did a wonderful job with the dialogue in painting a picture of an uncomfortable Dad. This was funny and very creative. Thank you for the laugh!

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2024

reply by the author on 26-Feb-2024
    Thank you for the comment. Please return as time allows. Meanwhile, I'll take a look-see at what you have posted. I appreciate having buddies and fans. Tom
Comment from Gunner Lil
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very good picture of the young couple.
A good entry for the contest.
An easy read with good dialogue between son and dad.
This reader thinks Papa dearest is something a girl may say rather than a twelve- year- old -boy. Cherished is a little much also.
Thank you and good luck.

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2024

reply by the author on 26-Feb-2024
    I agree with your comment, save for the fact you did not know the characters were Jewish, and Papas are cherished therein. Thank you, and welcome to my den of iniquity. Please return as time allows. Meanwhile, I'll take a look-see at what you have posted. I appreciate having buddies and fans. Tom
Comment from Brenda Strauser
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed reading this story. It was hilarious. I'm still laughing. The story had great imagination. I liked that you put Forrest Gump in there. Great job

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2024

reply by the author on 26-Feb-2024
    Thank you for the comment. Please return as time allows. Meanwhile, I'll take a look-see at what you have posted. I appreciate having buddies and fans. Tom