Reviews from

Saltwater Ghosts

Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Artie the Spy"
Young girl with special abilities.

16 total reviews 
Comment from Ric Myworld
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Most of us like people we can trust, but if they're anything like me, I haven't found many. And on those few occasions that I have found someone I figured to be trustworthy, it didn't take long to realize they weren't. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    You must have that gut feeling going for you. I'm like that. If I get that feeling, I follow it. It's saved me quite a few times. Thanks for this. Gretchen
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
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Heddy is very precocious, she thinks very adult thoughts. She will go far, but knowing about Artie is weighing very heavily on her. Have a good weekend, Good Writing. Karen:-)

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Heddy watches. She gets info but doesn't quite have the life experience to understand and process what she's feeling. Thank you for this. Gretchen
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 23-Feb-2024
    U R Welcome Karen :-)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
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Aw... poor Heddy, she thinks she is ugly. I can relate.

It sounds like her and Lester are getting comfortable with each other. I'm glad, it seems like Lester can use a friend.

I love your story. I can't wait to read more.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much. I'm happy you are enjoying this. Gretchen
Comment from Brett Matthew West
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In Paragraph Three, "somethings ready?" should be something's ready?

"waters edge" should be water's edge.

Good advice telling Heddy to just be herself and not worry about how she looks.

Makes one wonder why Artie does not want his presence known but kept secret.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Artie should know better than to use a child like that. Anyway, thank you for this nice review. Grrtchen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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There's so much going on in Heddy's young mind. You have done an excellent job capturing this. I like this story.

Artie smiles and squats down beside me. (you can omit 'down' it's understood, I doubt people can squat up)

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Thank you for the nice review and the edits. Gretchen
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
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Lovely dialogue that effortlessly moves the plot along and is a joy to read. I wondered if it might be better to say "Dinner is almost (ready)" But this is well expressed and full of relatable childhood thoughts which drive this very appealing story. Thanks for sharing, Gretchen. Debbie

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much, Debbie. So glad you are enjoying this. Gretchen
Comment from Mrs. KT
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Good morning, Gretchen,
What a beautiful chapter.
I loved the garden scene, but I loved the walk with Nonni even more.
Moving dialogue, and a passage that truly resonated with me:
"Means right now you're still a little girl. You shouldn't worry about whether you're pretty. Just be Heddy right now. You've got the rest of your life to think about things like that."

Neither of my parents EVER would comment about whether or not I was "pretty." No reason to do so, but I carry the memory of my cousin, Susie, who is the same age as I am. We were young adolescents at a family gathering when she asked her mother, "I'm pretty, aren't I, Mommy?" To which my aunt replied, "You surely are, sweetie." I looked at my mother - for even a little bit of affirmation and/or assurance. Nothing. She just changed the subject. Funny... that memory has stayed with me all my life...

I so appreciate your writing.
Thank you for sharing!
diane

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    I can tell from your profile picture that you are a stunning woman, so I have no doubt you were an adorable child. It's wrong to starve a child of affection. It cripples their self esteem. Thank you for this. Gretchen
reply by Mrs. KT on 23-Feb-2024
    My profile photograph was taken last summer = on my 70th birthday...
    I guess "good genes," Gretchen...

    Thank you!
    diane
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
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I mostly enjoyed this chapter, but I feel disturbed by 'unfinished business'. For me, Lester should have gotten the knife so that they could have harvested the canteloupe melon, instead of being sidetracked into chatting with Heddy's mom. kay

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    I think Lester would enjoy talking with someone who treats him like their own child. He misses his own mother. Just my take. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from BethShelby
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Heddy probably need be a bit afraid of Artie wanting her not to tell anyone about him being there. She does seem to be telling anyone about and he dead grandmother says to her either. They would think it is all in her head. She seems like the boy.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Heddy is confused. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Wayne Fowler
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Very well written.
"I think that ones ready." - (one's) It's tough to tell about cantaloupes.(They will always be musk mellons to me.) I'd rather leave 'em on the vine until 100% sure to be ripe.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    They should snap free when ready. Lol. Thank you for this awesome review. Gretchen