Comment from Julie Helms

Excellent

I absolutely love the stream-of-consciousness feel of this poem. I can see how you could just get in a pattern of writing and things flow out you didn't even expect. You should run this as a contest, to encourage people to try it.
Very enjoyable to experience, very powerful! Thanks for teaching us. Julie

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024

Thank you Julie. I?ll give that some thought.

Comment from Jodi Ann Anderson

Excellent

This poem has a lot of impact, especially with this Blitz style of poem. It starts at the beginning with saying that the boy is born and with the repeating of certain words it gives a clear visual. It shows the boy growing and developing from an infant into a man and going into war.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024

Thank you Jodi. Yes, the poem takes you to unexpected places. Thanks for your comments.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

I've not come across this verse form before but I think it's a very effective way of capturing thought and emotion without intellectualising too much and spoiling the stream of consciousness. Personally - and I think the verse pattern deserves this when explained in the final paragraph of the notes - it would be more effective broken up into stanzas. But this is a strongly vivid depiction of life and the world a young baby is entering. Thanks for sharing Debbie

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024

Thank you Debbie. It is an intriguing format, and the way the linkage drives the stream. I?ve done several in the past. Some I just started and let the words take me on a trip. That was fun. You might be surprised where it leads. On this one, I knew where I was starting and where I basically wanted to go. Either way works.

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

This is a very well done blitz writing, and I enjoyed it very much. I find that the blitz writing is something that's very confusing to achieve but you have achieved it well. Patricia.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024

Thank you Patricia. Actually it?s not that hard. Start by numbering 50 lines down a page. Then write a short line 1. Strat the second line with the same word. Then start the third line with last words from line 2. After that let the word phrases drive you.

Comment from Lisasview

Excellent

I think this is the very last poem I am going to review today... been at it since 7am... I really love stream of conscience poems... I really should try it...
Yours turned out great.. birth to death... I have done others that are different than this one but that always seem to end n death...
Okay, good night... more tomorrow,
Lisa

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024

Thank you Lisa. Yes, you should try one. I?ve done several in the past. Some I just started and lets the words take me on a trip. That was fun. You might be surprised where it leads. On this one, I knew where I was starting and where I basically wanted to go. Anyway, sleep well, I appreciate your time and comments.

reply by Lisasview on 08-Feb-2024

You are welcome,
Lisa