Emptiness
Silence sought22 total reviews
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Jim
Not foolish at all as your A to Z is well thought out and makes sense. I love the fact that as writers we can work on all sorts of emotions and it's like a cathartic release to do poetry like this.
Welcome back
Cheers Chris
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Hi Jim
Not foolish at all as your A to Z is well thought out and makes sense. I love the fact that as writers we can work on all sorts of emotions and it's like a cathartic release to do poetry like this.
Welcome back
Cheers Chris
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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My sincere gratitude for your validation, thank you.
Comment from royowen
Silence is good, but I'm not so sure about empty, it seems we have an abecdarian poem here Jim, skilfully woven, articulating and expanding your theme, it's good to see that your back...or are you? Beautifully written as always, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Silence is good, but I'm not so sure about empty, it seems we have an abecdarian poem here Jim, skilfully woven, articulating and expanding your theme, it's good to see that your back...or are you? Beautifully written as always, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Roy, My hope is that I am back in the seat with a pen and paper. I trust you are well. Best regards, Jim
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I am, good to have you back Jim
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Jim,
This is a good abecedarian poem that seems to tell of the life of a relationship that didn't last. It depicts all the emotions relative to each stage. It also shows that sometimes we want to be alone in our grief.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend
Joan
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Hi Jim,
This is a good abecedarian poem that seems to tell of the life of a relationship that didn't last. It depicts all the emotions relative to each stage. It also shows that sometimes we want to be alone in our grief.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend
Joan
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Joan, thanks I hope today brings sunshine over your shoulder.
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My pleasure, Jim. It did. Sunny and 82.
Joan
Comment from hullabaloo22
Wow! This is incredible. The short lines, alphabetically started, fit the subject of this so well. I don't think it is 'foolish' at all - it says a lot and many of the lines I can personally relate to. The last five lines, especially, must have taken a lot of work to get right.
Well deserving of the six stars!
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Wow! This is incredible. The short lines, alphabetically started, fit the subject of this so well. I don't think it is 'foolish' at all - it says a lot and many of the lines I can personally relate to. The last five lines, especially, must have taken a lot of work to get right.
Well deserving of the six stars!
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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My gracious! Thank you so very, very much! I have been away from FS for several months, and to come back and get a six-star review is simply fantastic! JLR
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
I'm not generally a fan of acrostic poetry, but I love this one. So many sights and sounds to express loneliness, and I could identify with all of them.
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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I'm not generally a fan of acrostic poetry, but I love this one. So many sights and sounds to express loneliness, and I could identify with all of them.
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Verna, Thank you so very, very much! I have been away from FS for several months, and to come back and get a six-star review is simply fantastic! JLR
Comment from Pam (respa)
It is good to see you on FS. Your note is appreciated. Hope things are going well for you. I can understand getting your feet wet when coming back to the site. You did a good job with the format. It is like a stream of consciousness with various thoughts going through your mind.
You have good examples for each letter, as well as occasional use of alliteration. Good personification with "Dancing thunderbolts." I also like "impossible possibilities." Then your images turn to a sense of aloneness and questions without answers. The line with the letter 'W' emphasizes the mood toward the end of the poem. Interesting line with the lava and the p.s. at the end. I'd say you covered a lot of ground!
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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It is good to see you on FS. Your note is appreciated. Hope things are going well for you. I can understand getting your feet wet when coming back to the site. You did a good job with the format. It is like a stream of consciousness with various thoughts going through your mind.
You have good examples for each letter, as well as occasional use of alliteration. Good personification with "Dancing thunderbolts." I also like "impossible possibilities." Then your images turn to a sense of aloneness and questions without answers. The line with the letter 'W' emphasizes the mood toward the end of the poem. Interesting line with the lava and the p.s. at the end. I'd say you covered a lot of ground!
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Hello Pam, Thank you for your warm welcome back. I very much appreciate your validating remarks. It feels good to be spending time with pen in hand again. I think each line gives me 26 opportunities to explore new work.
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You are very welcome, Jim. I appreciate your reply and I am glad you are enjoying writing again. Those are a lot of opportunities that I look forward to.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I would say it's more of a thought provoking abcderian poem JLR than a foolish one. I was happy to see your name come up again. A great final line too. Welcome back,
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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I would say it's more of a thought provoking abcderian poem JLR than a foolish one. I was happy to see your name come up again. A great final line too. Welcome back,
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Valda, thank you the warm comments
Comment from HarryT
In my opinion, any one who can create an acderain acrostic deservers a 5 star review. I think you might consider dropping the word emptiness. It detracts from each statement.
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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In my opinion, any one who can create an acderain acrostic deservers a 5 star review. I think you might consider dropping the word emptiness. It detracts from each statement.
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Harry T Thanks for your input, I see that it can be cumbersome
Comment from Wendy G
It reminded me of "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity" in the Bible where life's meaning is questioned and the writer feels that there is nothing new under the sun, and life holds no meaning. But there is a change in his attitude then. Your last line is very thought-provoking. Is death and finality the emptiness sought?
Wendy
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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It reminded me of "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity" in the Bible where life's meaning is questioned and the writer feels that there is nothing new under the sun, and life holds no meaning. But there is a change in his attitude then. Your last line is very thought-provoking. Is death and finality the emptiness sought?
Wendy
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Thank you for your comments.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Glad I wasn't depressed when I started reading - this might have pushed me over the edge!
Interesting decision to use 'emptiness' as a constant tolling refrain throughout. It leaves no doubt as to the tone of the piece. your final line is more powerful for being set apart from the previous pattern.
Steve
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Glad I wasn't depressed when I started reading - this might have pushed me over the edge!
Interesting decision to use 'emptiness' as a constant tolling refrain throughout. It leaves no doubt as to the tone of the piece. your final line is more powerful for being set apart from the previous pattern.
Steve
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Steve, thank you, in retrospect, I felt that the repetition was overdone, so I made changes.
