What We See
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "What We See - Chapter 7"A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life
19 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
Whistle while you work, they say. Here's my problem. I have to work tomorrow morning at ten; this is the third chapter that I've read tonight. I started late as I was putting my next chapter together, as well as a 75-word flash fiction, which is getting great reviews. I'm not sure what the judges will think. I've never won actual money; it would look good on the Query, lol. Anyway, I loved this chapter and want more, so you're going to be the reason I'm tired at work tomorrow, lol.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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Whistle while you work, they say. Here's my problem. I have to work tomorrow morning at ten; this is the third chapter that I've read tonight. I started late as I was putting my next chapter together, as well as a 75-word flash fiction, which is getting great reviews. I'm not sure what the judges will think. I've never won actual money; it would look good on the Query, lol. Anyway, I loved this chapter and want more, so you're going to be the reason I'm tired at work tomorrow, lol.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 24-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2024
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I apologize for that, Steve. :) I'm happy you're finding this entertaining enough to keep you up late reading. Good luck with your flash story.
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No apology needed, Jim. This is just a testimony of your ability to engage someone like me.
Comment from tfawcus
"What does it take for people to quit misinterpreting what they see?" Good question.
Ginnie's about face is a welcome turn of events. Alan needs a few friends in this world. I found the dialogue natural and nicely balanced for two people on first acquaintance.
a sticky wicket with his 'friend' Artie." She said his name in air quotes. (The tag is redundant)
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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"What does it take for people to quit misinterpreting what they see?" Good question.
Ginnie's about face is a welcome turn of events. Alan needs a few friends in this world. I found the dialogue natural and nicely balanced for two people on first acquaintance.
a sticky wicket with his 'friend' Artie." She said his name in air quotes. (The tag is redundant)
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thanks, Tony. You're right about the redundant tag. I will remove it.
Comment from Carol Clark2
Good dialogue that fills in a bit of backstory, but also moves the story forward. It was nice of Ginny to apologize for her attitude, especially with coffee and donuts. Could there be a love interest coming up? Good chapter. Have a great week. Carol
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2024
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Good dialogue that fills in a bit of backstory, but also moves the story forward. It was nice of Ginny to apologize for her attitude, especially with coffee and donuts. Could there be a love interest coming up? Good chapter. Have a great week. Carol
Comment Written 06-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2024
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Thanks very much, Carol. I think it's a good possibility.
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I'll be watching for that.
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. I like Ginney's about-face. Does she know about his history? I look forward to the next chapter. I do not see any need for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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This is another excellent chapter. I like Ginney's about-face. Does she know about his history? I look forward to the next chapter. I do not see any need for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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At this point, she knows nothing about any of his history. If you're wondering if his troubles at the school will become known to her, you'll have to wait and see, Lee!
(Sounds like a line from Paul Simon's "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.")
Comment from lyenochka
Hooray! Ginnie is not only nice but good-looking, too! But I was hoping that Alan would immediately tell her about his dyslexia in reading as well as in speech so that there wouldn't be any misunderstandings in the future. That would warm a mother's heart knowing a nice neighbor who can relate to her son's difficulties. A great chapter!
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
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Hooray! Ginnie is not only nice but good-looking, too! But I was hoping that Alan would immediately tell her about his dyslexia in reading as well as in speech so that there wouldn't be any misunderstandings in the future. That would warm a mother's heart knowing a nice neighbor who can relate to her son's difficulties. A great chapter!
Comment Written 04-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much, Helen. It won't be until chapter 10 (which takes place the following day), when they discuss the subject thoroughly, but they will.
Comment from LJbutterfly
In this chapter, you've made clear the theme of your novel, What We See. We usually see or judge others by the personal grid we look through, like Ginnie who looked through a grid framed by an abused boy she had just treated at the hospital. I enjoyed your realistic dialogue between Ginnie and Alan as they became friends. This is slowly shaping up to be very interesting.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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In this chapter, you've made clear the theme of your novel, What We See. We usually see or judge others by the personal grid we look through, like Ginnie who looked through a grid framed by an abused boy she had just treated at the hospital. I enjoyed your realistic dialogue between Ginnie and Alan as they became friends. This is slowly shaping up to be very interesting.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Lorraine. And thank you very much for the 6. Did you noticed my use of the title in this chapter, or did you just realize that that has become the theme of the story?
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As I followed this story, I tried to make the title of the book fit what I was reading. I couldn't make "What We See" connect to what was happening to Alan in the school. But I knew a good novel will reveal the meaning of the title in time. I noticed your use of the title in this chapter, AND understood it is your theme, which carries a powerful message and makes the story more meaningful.
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In the first chapter, Earl saw with his eyes a quiet, unassuming, modest fellow who had never given him any trouble before, but his brain translated him into a monster based on the earful he got from Suzie and Tina, and that led Earl astray.
Just as with dyslexia, the mind misinterprets what it sees and it translates it or understands it to be something else. And like you pointed out--what Ginnie sees the first time she lays eyes on Alan is not what her eyes see, but what her past experience leads her to believe about unknown men talking to little boys--that there is danger there.
Of course, the title What We See is using the word "see" in a broader sense to mean understand, as when we say, "I see what you mean." You don't see it with your eyes, but you are understanding what he/she means.
So this story is really about misunderstandings of what is physically seen and how to alleviate them. I didn't think "What We Understand" was as good a title, though.
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Thank you for explaining your deeper meaning which will increase my enjoyment of the story.
Comment from jmdg1954
Jim,
First of all good chapter. Realistically, she comes home from work as a nurse, tired. Then she sees her young, vulnerable son talking to a stranger, she's going to react like a mother.., defensive.
Question/thought... Tommy is only 12, dyslexic, living in a less than desirable neighborhood. Would a mother let him come home from school and remain unsupervised? Allowed to roam the streets?
Just thinking out loud or am I thinking too much?
Excellent post!
John
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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Jim,
First of all good chapter. Realistically, she comes home from work as a nurse, tired. Then she sees her young, vulnerable son talking to a stranger, she's going to react like a mother.., defensive.
Question/thought... Tommy is only 12, dyslexic, living in a less than desirable neighborhood. Would a mother let him come home from school and remain unsupervised? Allowed to roam the streets?
Just thinking out loud or am I thinking too much?
Excellent post!
John
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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No, you're not thinking too much. It's a good point. I'm not sure if people were that concerned about it in 1985 like today. They may have been, though. I know when we were kids, it wasn't a big deal. I'm not quite sure when thinking began to change about it and what triggered the change, or was it just gradual? Never really thought about it.
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You?re 100% correct. I forgot the time was 1985 and things were different back then. When we were kids (100 years ago) it was even more different!
Thanks for reminding me.
John
Comment from barbara.wilkey
It appears David/Alan has a new a new friend. That's a good thing and I am wondering if her job has anything to do with what might have happened to Tina. Hmmm. It seems an interesting coincidence. I am enjoying this story.
"Do you like coffee?" she asked me. (you can omit 'me' it's understood, there's nobody else in the shop)
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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It appears David/Alan has a new a new friend. That's a good thing and I am wondering if her job has anything to do with what might have happened to Tina. Hmmm. It seems an interesting coincidence. I am enjoying this story.
"Do you like coffee?" she asked me. (you can omit 'me' it's understood, there's nobody else in the shop)
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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Her job doesn't have anything to do with what happened to Tina, but it will later (Ooo, a bit of mystery here!)
Nice catch about the "she asked me." Good eye. Did that just jump out at you? I will try to think about those kinds of things more.
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It did jump out at me. I figured there's a reason for Ginny's job. LOL
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is all very credible, Jim, and I feel completely invested in your story. I was going to say, after the first part of your chapter, is it any wonder that victims such as your protagonists disappear down rabbit holes of depression when, systematically, the world seems to be turning against them? But, thank goodness, Ginnie (is there going to a romance blossoming there?) redeemed the situation. David deserves some good luck now and he has the strength of character to get through this crisis in his life. No errors detected in your excellent continuation. Thanks, Jim. Debbie
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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This is all very credible, Jim, and I feel completely invested in your story. I was going to say, after the first part of your chapter, is it any wonder that victims such as your protagonists disappear down rabbit holes of depression when, systematically, the world seems to be turning against them? But, thank goodness, Ginnie (is there going to a romance blossoming there?) redeemed the situation. David deserves some good luck now and he has the strength of character to get through this crisis in his life. No errors detected in your excellent continuation. Thanks, Jim. Debbie
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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Thanks very much, Debbie, for your thoughtful review. You'll see that Ginnie is a very nice person after all. She has her flaws, but this will be dealt with in later chapters. Romance? Possibly.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
All rightee, then. A relationship brews. Speaking of which, from 6 to 9 AM and no coffee yet, at all??????????? How about some self-deprecating humor about his coffee maker breaking down?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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All rightee, then. A relationship brews. Speaking of which, from 6 to 9 AM and no coffee yet, at all??????????? How about some self-deprecating humor about his coffee maker breaking down?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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That's not a bad suggestion. However, if I do that, Lance will surely tell me, "Hmm. His coffee maker breaks down, and then she conveniently comes with coffee for him." I can't win!