2024 Gypsy's Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 55 "Groovy Frog"x
10 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Gypsy, I love this little poem which is filled with good imagery,
especially ... "come to my pad"
A fun poem that made me smile. Perfect photo choice. Well done.
A pleasure to read. Xo. Margaret
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Hello Gypsy, I love this little poem which is filled with good imagery,
especially ... "come to my pad"
A fun poem that made me smile. Perfect photo choice. Well done.
A pleasure to read. Xo. Margaret
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Margaret, Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. Yes, one must kiss a lot of frogs before finding a prince charming. LOL This was fun and cute to read. I enjoyed the entire presentation.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. Yes, one must kiss a lot of frogs before finding a prince charming. LOL This was fun and cute to read. I enjoyed the entire presentation.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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LoL I had my share of toads.
Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from shelley kaye
groovy haiku!
- fun word choices and meaning
- cool imagery and smooth flow
- love the pun on the satori...
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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groovy haiku!
- fun word choices and meaning
- cool imagery and smooth flow
- love the pun on the satori...
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
....................................
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from GWHARGIS
I have to admit something. I am deathly afraid of frogs. But I found your poem very cute. I guess because I couldn't see it. Lol. This was a fun poem that had an Austin Powers vibe to it. You definitely have fun with your poetry sometimes. This was one of those light hearted ones. Gretchen
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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I have to admit something. I am deathly afraid of frogs. But I found your poem very cute. I guess because I couldn't see it. Lol. This was a fun poem that had an Austin Powers vibe to it. You definitely have fun with your poetry sometimes. This was one of those light hearted ones. Gretchen
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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I love Austin Powers... lol that's what I was going for. So silly. Only baby boomers will get it but hopefully they read my author notes.
I lived by a lake for three years. We had dirty snapping geese and gigantic frogs ..so creepy and gross. But my frog is cute. At least as cute they can be. LoL. The geese pop all over the side walks.
Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from lyenochka
Well, I liked all your 1960's slang that you used including the "pad" and the "groovy." It was an interesting time period where there was such a clash of cultures in our country. Fun poem!
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Well, I liked all your 1960's slang that you used including the "pad" and the "groovy." It was an interesting time period where there was such a clash of cultures in our country. Fun poem!
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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I came to California, USA, when I was 16 years old in 1975, the groovy and pad.. and other colloquial vocabulary was over but I saw it on TV and movies. It's just a silly haiku for the club.😊
Thank you very much, big sister.
Love,
Marival
Comment from kahpot
love this, groovy, serenades, pad, a real bachelors hang out (pad) not sure about "baby boomers" I'm sure some of us still try to attract, very well written and presented****kahpot
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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love this, groovy, serenades, pad, a real bachelors hang out (pad) not sure about "baby boomers" I'm sure some of us still try to attract, very well written and presented****kahpot
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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lack of punctuation, lack of rhyme, lack of capitalization, no particular meter,
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Like this?
The wind breathes
It is alive
I hear it's call
3-3-4
I like that. You write well always. I appreciate your explanations. You write in a way I can understand.
Plain and simple. I didn't see that frog in interest!
He is sublime. Karen
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Like this?
The wind breathes
It is alive
I hear it's call
3-3-4
I like that. You write well always. I appreciate your explanations. You write in a way I can understand.
Plain and simple. I didn't see that frog in interest!
He is sublime. Karen
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Pretty good... you don't need 'the' ... maybe something like this
alive wind
breathes--
I hear it's call
Thank you very much, Karen 😊 I appreciate your exceptional six stars review.
Gypsy hugs
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I see you viewpoint, but it doesn't mean the same thing to me. I see three separate things.
I feel the wind wash over me
The electricity of it touches me
I hear the sounds. Karen
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Your short haiku was this...
The wind breathes
It is alive
I hear it's call
Your second haiku is this...
I feel the wind wash over me
The electricity of it touches me
I hear the sounds
They don't mean the same ....
The wind breathes (short haiku)
I feel the wind wash over me (your long haiku
Short one, "the wind is breathing" that doesn't make sense. Haiku is about what you can see and touch. And it's not what you say you mentioned. "I feel the wind wash over me"
Short one "it's alive"
You meant "The electricity of it touches me"?
Short one "I hear it's call"
You meant "I hear the sounds ..this one is okay
I feel the wind wash over me
The electricity of it touches me
I hear the sounds
I hear the wind
and feel it
wash over me
**********
it's up to you but you asked my
opinion
Thank you very much for your review
Gypsy hugs
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I will think about all this. Thanks for your help. I appreciate your time.
Karen
Comment from Mark D. R.
Nice idea Gypsy.
Do like your play on words and your references to times gone by. Great illustration to pair with your club entry post.
Methinks your last line should be: "comes (sic) to my pad" to agree with your first line. Groovy frog .... comes to my pad.
Mark
P.S. your authors note example likely should also be edited to:
cold wind (2 syllables)
crosses(sic) the tall grass (4 syllables)
waves goodbye (3 syllables)
If you make winds plural, then 'cross' and 'wave' is needed.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Nice idea Gypsy.
Do like your play on words and your references to times gone by. Great illustration to pair with your club entry post.
Methinks your last line should be: "comes (sic) to my pad" to agree with your first line. Groovy frog .... comes to my pad.
Mark
P.S. your authors note example likely should also be edited to:
cold wind (2 syllables)
crosses(sic) the tall grass (4 syllables)
waves goodbye (3 syllables)
If you make winds plural, then 'cross' and 'wave' is needed.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you 😊
Gypsy hugs
Ps.. the last line the frog is singing to his mate... come... as in command
I'll check the syllables count.
Comment from zanya
Yes The Frog and Haiku- a good match and here is one happy member of the species waiting in amorous anticipation = such exquisite colors - raises a chuckle1
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Yes The Frog and Haiku- a good match and here is one happy member of the species waiting in amorous anticipation = such exquisite colors - raises a chuckle1
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much, zanya 😊
Gypsy hugs
Comment from jim vecchio
'twas a blast
now I'm bookin'
Got to cut out
(blast!-hey, man, a good time, baby)
(bookin'-not learnin, you hip?-I gotta go fast)
(cut out-you got it all wrong, not paper dolls!-gotta leave, double quick!)
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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'twas a blast
now I'm bookin'
Got to cut out
(blast!-hey, man, a good time, baby)
(bookin'-not learnin, you hip?-I gotta go fast)
(cut out-you got it all wrong, not paper dolls!-gotta leave, double quick!)
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Hehe ... you must be a baby boomer too.
Thank you very much, Jim 😊
Gypsy hugs
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I was there when television was in its infancy and now I'm there when it's in its senility.