Sandra's Lover
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Wedding"A macabre crime thriller. Grotesque and detailed.
4 total reviews
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Hey really great chapter he really filling in the blanks here are quite like this very well written well thought out well investigated excellent entry I think it's a fine post and I wish you all the best of luck I see no issues with grammar esthetic subject matter or punctuation. Best of luck with you awesome submission!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2024
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Hey really great chapter he really filling in the blanks here are quite like this very well written well thought out well investigated excellent entry I think it's a fine post and I wish you all the best of luck I see no issues with grammar esthetic subject matter or punctuation. Best of luck with you awesome submission!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much for the review and the stars. Look forward to more of yours!
Comment from eliz100
This is an excellent chapter. My guess is that her water broke. I hope it is not something more serious. That saying, "Only the best for my love, " would get on my nerves at some point. I do not see any need for improvement.Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2024
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This is an excellent chapter. My guess is that her water broke. I hope it is not something more serious. That saying, "Only the best for my love, " would get on my nerves at some point. I do not see any need for improvement.Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2024
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Oh thank you. I appreciate your feeback. Enjoy more chapters
Comment from John Ciarmello
One can feel Mark's domination over Aliss in controlling everything she's involved in.
I can't help but wonder how her love for him is keeping her from the red flags. I'm looking forward to reading another chapter, Eileen.
Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2024
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One can feel Mark's domination over Aliss in controlling everything she's involved in.
I can't help but wonder how her love for him is keeping her from the red flags. I'm looking forward to reading another chapter, Eileen.
Best, JohnC
Comment Written 26-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2024
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Some people are afraid of change. Thank you for your feeback!
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, this chapter has two main issues. It is all telling or narrative. It shows very little. It is also written to paint a specific picture of Mark (super assertive if not controlling) and Aliss (super submissive, if not pathetic). Making neither character likable.
Mark was distracted by the story and his interest in gathering information about it interfered with some of their sightseeing plans.
- Yes, the internet existed in 1990, but it was crude, and limited. Highly unlikely Mark gathered information in St. Martinique about a crime in MSU.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2024
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Hmm, this chapter has two main issues. It is all telling or narrative. It shows very little. It is also written to paint a specific picture of Mark (super assertive if not controlling) and Aliss (super submissive, if not pathetic). Making neither character likable.
Mark was distracted by the story and his interest in gathering information about it interfered with some of their sightseeing plans.
- Yes, the internet existed in 1990, but it was crude, and limited. Highly unlikely Mark gathered information in St. Martinique about a crime in MSU.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2024
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Thank you for your review. I checked the history of this story and it was broadcast on the news and was available where the honeymoon took place. I am very careful and research my background as much as I can. Mark comes from a wealthy family and is a physician creating his own wealth. Only the best would include any new technology available. As far as the narrative/telling aspect I will definitely check how it is written and see if there are ways to correct that. I deeply appreciate all of your feedback as it helps correct and direct my writing skills. Please keep it up, I need this feedback.