Doors
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Follow the Butterfly!"An Encanto fan fic, cause why not.
4 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
Thank you for the footnotes; they explained a lot I found confusing. It is a bit of jumping around, but now I understand why. I found the chapter rather long but delightful. Nice work.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the footnotes; they explained a lot I found confusing. It is a bit of jumping around, but now I understand why. I found the chapter rather long but delightful. Nice work.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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You are too kind. Thank you for the nice review!
Comment from Ric Myworld
The best thing about writing is building our characters an seeing where they go. I'm not the typical person who stresses plot. Plot to only what the characters do. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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The best thing about writing is building our characters an seeing where they go. I'm not the typical person who stresses plot. Plot to only what the characters do. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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These people to bounce about and thank you for the nice review!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I can say that the story line is pretty interesting, and I can picture the worlds in a movie:) like in this example below "Crowd control," Bruno replied, "Pepa's got it handled." He was about to leave, but Bruno remembered his promise to his sister. Knew he needed to let his sister know what he was thinking. He stopped and asked, "Juli, do you remember when we were little how sometimes people would follow Mamá around for hours?""
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2024
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I can say that the story line is pretty interesting, and I can picture the worlds in a movie:) like in this example below "Crowd control," Bruno replied, "Pepa's got it handled." He was about to leave, but Bruno remembered his promise to his sister. Knew he needed to let his sister know what he was thinking. He stopped and asked, "Juli, do you remember when we were little how sometimes people would follow Mamá around for hours?""
Comment Written 24-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2024
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Why thanks for the review! The rating is also nice.
Comment from Frank Malley
"Follow the Butterfly" is quite a long read, and that leads to my main criticism of this story: too many details expressed in too many words. It reminds me of the Dickens I'm reading, in which sitting down to have dinner can take ten pages or more. However, I think writers hoping for publication need to remember that modern humanity is probably more stimulated than it ever was, and it desires literature that gets where it's going more quickly. This author can certainly write, and that ability can be a curse as well as a blessing when the audience is considered.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2024
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"Follow the Butterfly" is quite a long read, and that leads to my main criticism of this story: too many details expressed in too many words. It reminds me of the Dickens I'm reading, in which sitting down to have dinner can take ten pages or more. However, I think writers hoping for publication need to remember that modern humanity is probably more stimulated than it ever was, and it desires literature that gets where it's going more quickly. This author can certainly write, and that ability can be a curse as well as a blessing when the audience is considered.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2024
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Why thanks for the review! The rating is also nice... I'm sorry you found it to be too long. Editors are a thing and I ain't got one of those. Anyway, this will never be published - it's fanfiction so it tends to take on a life of its own.
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Be well, Achitka. Frank
