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Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Concorde Valley"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
22 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I still have more to get through. This is so involving am going to copy this so I can read faster. I like this story very much. But without any points. I need to increase my time. I hope this does not offend you in any way. Karen
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I still have more to get through. This is so involving am going to copy this so I can read faster. I like this story very much. But without any points. I need to increase my time. I hope this does not offend you in any way. Karen
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
Comment from w.j.debi
The story is coming along so well. I love the magical feeling you evoke of the valley and the forest. I love the horse, of course. Theo is so gentle and protective as he leads Echo through his world. Now comes everyone's greatest fear--meeting the family. It sounds exciting and scary like real life.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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The story is coming along so well. I love the magical feeling you evoke of the valley and the forest. I love the horse, of course. Theo is so gentle and protective as he leads Echo through his world. Now comes everyone's greatest fear--meeting the family. It sounds exciting and scary like real life.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Hi Debi, thank you for the review, my friend. It's funny, but several people have remarked about meeting the family being scary. Poor Echo has that and the whole "god thing" to contend with.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Mae Wright
A very interesting story. I could not stop reading in the beginning. It was I like I was there and I actually was the character "Echo". I wonder what will happen next.
Mae
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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A very interesting story. I could not stop reading in the beginning. It was I like I was there and I actually was the character "Echo". I wonder what will happen next.
Mae
Comment Written 13-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Mae, that is so sweet. Thank you for the review, and for stopping by to read my book.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
I enjoyed learning a bit about Theo's well-planned world, one the encourages
being one with the environment, rather than abusing it.
I would think all those horse-pulled carriages and wagons might make for a rather odorous situation though. I always thought the old days are much overrated.
The connection between Theo and Echo is growing stronger. Two names ending in "o", I hope Theo doesn't have a sister named Jello. :)
Theo's relative should be quite interesting, all descendants of a god.
Well done. Looking forward to the big meeting.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Hello Rhonda,
I enjoyed learning a bit about Theo's well-planned world, one the encourages
being one with the environment, rather than abusing it.
I would think all those horse-pulled carriages and wagons might make for a rather odorous situation though. I always thought the old days are much overrated.
The connection between Theo and Echo is growing stronger. Two names ending in "o", I hope Theo doesn't have a sister named Jello. :)
Theo's relative should be quite interesting, all descendants of a god.
Well done. Looking forward to the big meeting.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much for the stars and the review, Robert. I originally intended Anthos to be the name used most often, but as it confused readers, I went for Theo, lol. Never thought about the rhyming names. Leave it to a poet!! And no Jello in Theo's family unit, lol.
Yes, I might have to add in something later about the odor. Good point.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from BethShelby
You describe this place so beautifully it make me want to go there. It seems the houseback ride was perfect. Since his family members are so anxious to meet her, they must believe she is very special to him. She is nervous about meeting royalty but he points out that she already has.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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You describe this place so beautifully it make me want to go there. It seems the houseback ride was perfect. Since his family members are so anxious to meet her, they must believe she is very special to him. She is nervous about meeting royalty but he points out that she already has.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Hi Beth, thank you for the review and for your comments on the chapter.
I will try to get another one out soon. We need to get back to action, lol.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
You put a lot of thought and creativity into this chapter. I loved every word. I find this story different and enjoyable. I look forward to the next addition to your story.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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You put a lot of thought and creativity into this chapter. I loved every word. I find this story different and enjoyable. I look forward to the next addition to your story.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you, dear friend! I appreciate the six stars and your support of this book.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent artwork and story to go with it, Rhonda. It flowed smoothly from scene to scene and lets us have a good idea of what Theo's world looks like. I like how Theo was patient and answered Echo's questions and also pointed out interesting things about this world as they go by different levels that he had described. We could use the people in these communities to do good things with our own environment.
Echo and Theo seem very comfortable with one another's company as they ride along. It also shows how much they mean to each other. There are some tender moments as their ride goes on. I like the scene when Echo recalls how Theo had been there each time when she was talking to him, and he got misty eyed about that.
My favorite section is right before the end, and Echo lets us know what she sees in Theo's eyes; "history and tenderness...and, mostly, she saw her Theo." Very well done, my friend. I look forward to seeing how this visit will go.
One very small thing:
The streets were teaming [teeming]
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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Excellent artwork and story to go with it, Rhonda. It flowed smoothly from scene to scene and lets us have a good idea of what Theo's world looks like. I like how Theo was patient and answered Echo's questions and also pointed out interesting things about this world as they go by different levels that he had described. We could use the people in these communities to do good things with our own environment.
Echo and Theo seem very comfortable with one another's company as they ride along. It also shows how much they mean to each other. There are some tender moments as their ride goes on. I like the scene when Echo recalls how Theo had been there each time when she was talking to him, and he got misty eyed about that.
My favorite section is right before the end, and Echo lets us know what she sees in Theo's eyes; "history and tenderness...and, mostly, she saw her Theo." Very well done, my friend. I look forward to seeing how this visit will go.
One very small thing:
The streets were teaming [teeming]
Comment Written 09-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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Hi Pam, thank you so much for the 6 stars!!
Thank you for your comments and spag alert. It's funny, but I had several people find some this chapter and the last, and I've gone a bunch of chapters without mistakes. Actually, it's a good sign that I am finally getting out of my own head and allowing myself to be creative. I've had more fun on these than some of the others. Still, I need to go over them a bit better.
Thank you for pointing out the parts that worked for you, because it helps me in developing my next ones.
Take care, my friend,
Rhonda
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. I appreciate your reply. I would keep doing what you're doing,having fun and being creative. The problem with looking at your own work is you know what you said. I think most people overlook at least one thing!
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You're very right, we do!! Especially when we get caught up in it!!
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That is true, too!!
Comment from Ric Myworld
I seldom find time to read others that I don't already read regularly, but on those rare occasions, like with your chapter, I'm glad a did. Outstanding. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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I seldom find time to read others that I don't already read regularly, but on those rare occasions, like with your chapter, I'm glad a did. Outstanding. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Ric! I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your perspective.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is such an interesting story as Echo learns about a new way of life very different from what she has known. In her new life she has lots of family and a bit of magic, too. There are a few things that need correcting: . . . signs of (billowing) smoke . . . . . . because it was (X) my mission . . . Theo (looked) away . . . . . . everything (for) her after her parents' tragic deaths . . . (They did both die at the same time, didn't they?)
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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This is such an interesting story as Echo learns about a new way of life very different from what she has known. In her new life she has lots of family and a bit of magic, too. There are a few things that need correcting: . . . signs of (billowing) smoke . . . . . . because it was (X) my mission . . . Theo (looked) away . . . . . . everything (for) her after her parents' tragic deaths . . . (They did both die at the same time, didn't they?)
Comment Written 09-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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Hi Carol, thank you for your thoughtful and thorough review!! Because of your care, I was able to find and fix the errors you found. Some were just silly mistakes, and one I just had to rearrange to make it sound better.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
How very interesting, that's the first time that I knew that Theo had a royal background, and he shows all the characteristics of someone that encapsulates the true nobility of royalty, using Jesus as an example of perfect nobility. Beautifully written, looking forward to the meeting, well done Rhonda, blessing Roy
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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How very interesting, that's the first time that I knew that Theo had a royal background, and he shows all the characteristics of someone that encapsulates the true nobility of royalty, using Jesus as an example of perfect nobility. Beautifully written, looking forward to the meeting, well done Rhonda, blessing Roy
Comment Written 08-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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Hi Roy, I'm glad you took time to review the chapter. Theo has talked about it before, but I don't think it really sank in to Echo until that moment. I'm glad you caught the Christ reference, Theo being but a son of the king.
Take care
Rhonda
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Well done