Mom & Dad
This poem is a heartfelt appreciation of my parents3 total reviews
Comment from Aiona
What a lovely fulfillment of the etheree prompt. It follows the syllable count restrictions effortlessly, like it was meant to be that way, not just because of the prompt. I love that it also rhymes. I'm really not a fan of free verse, so the skill it took to make it RHYME and still fit the syllable count is pretty amazing. The only issue I have with the poem is this one line:
"they both were soothed with a tender kiss."
I can understand soothing pain, but does bliss need soothing? I'm a little confused.
Maybe something like "Those times both came with a tender kiss" would fit better. But then "time" is repeated three times in two lines.
I'm sure you can think of something better than I did!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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What a lovely fulfillment of the etheree prompt. It follows the syllable count restrictions effortlessly, like it was meant to be that way, not just because of the prompt. I love that it also rhymes. I'm really not a fan of free verse, so the skill it took to make it RHYME and still fit the syllable count is pretty amazing. The only issue I have with the poem is this one line:
"they both were soothed with a tender kiss."
I can understand soothing pain, but does bliss need soothing? I'm a little confused.
Maybe something like "Those times both came with a tender kiss" would fit better. But then "time" is repeated three times in two lines.
I'm sure you can think of something better than I did!
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much for your input. Much appreciated
Comment from Navada
I really like your tribute to your parents and the skill you displayed not only in creating a full reverse etheree but also incorporating rhyme. Thanks for the share and good luck for the contest! :)
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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I really like your tribute to your parents and the skill you displayed not only in creating a full reverse etheree but also incorporating rhyme. Thanks for the share and good luck for the contest! :)
Comment Written 05-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Thank you. I wrote that poem ( not like that, I modified it for contest) over 40 years ago when I was a freshman in HS for Parents appreciation night
Comment from Yusita
This is a beautiful and heartfelt poem that many of us resonate with. Loving parents are such a blessing. I'm so thankful for mine! Lovely write.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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This is a beautiful and heartfelt poem that many of us resonate with. Loving parents are such a blessing. I'm so thankful for mine! Lovely write.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Thank you