Unnoticed
a 3-5-3 poem7 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Ciao poet, you have 5 votes.
I remember asking my father if he noticed when he was getting old and he said that it seemed as if it just happened all of a sudden.
Now I'm 60 and looking back I cant really remember my 30s , nothing specific , my early 40s I recall cause my mother died.that when I first stated thinking of death.
Life does slips away .. it's scary . When you are 20 you think you have so much time ahead ( sigh)
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Ciao poet, you have 5 votes.
I remember asking my father if he noticed when he was getting old and he said that it seemed as if it just happened all of a sudden.
Now I'm 60 and looking back I cant really remember my 30s , nothing specific , my early 40s I recall cause my mother died.that when I first stated thinking of death.
Life does slips away .. it's scary . When you are 20 you think you have so much time ahead ( sigh)
Comment Written 02-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Thank you dear Franca for your lovely review... and yes, Time does catch all of us!! I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Beautifully done in your 3-5-3 verse (which I considered doing but found it far too difficult) This verse has a rather haunting quality about it and the "silent feet" clinches it with that impression that many aged people express that they're invisible. Creeps would have been nice too. But undoubtedly for me a winner! Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Beautifully done in your 3-5-3 verse (which I considered doing but found it far too difficult) This verse has a rather haunting quality about it and the "silent feet" clinches it with that impression that many aged people express that they're invisible. Creeps would have been nice too. But undoubtedly for me a winner! Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 02-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much Debbie!
Comment from Yusita
This was so good! What a creative and brilliant way to describe time... "old, silent feet". Time is definitely old and silent. This is a worthy and solid for this contest!
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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This was so good! What a creative and brilliant way to describe time... "old, silent feet". Time is definitely old and silent. This is a worthy and solid for this contest!
Comment Written 02-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much!!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
You know, sometimes things just crop up and it makes you laugh. Before I read this one, I read another 3-5-3 for this competition that expressed the exact opposite of this piece. Life is funny sometimes. lol
I think this one is more realistic and relatable to many folk than a simple clarity of thought and mind lol
all syllables present and correct.
Best of luck to you
GMG
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Hi there,
You know, sometimes things just crop up and it makes you laugh. Before I read this one, I read another 3-5-3 for this competition that expressed the exact opposite of this piece. Life is funny sometimes. lol
I think this one is more realistic and relatable to many folk than a simple clarity of thought and mind lol
all syllables present and correct.
Best of luck to you
GMG
Comment Written 02-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much, Gareth. I did revise it. :)
Comment from Navada
I think your chosen artwork perfectly matches your well-chosen words here. This is indeed a difficult situation. I dealt with long covid for several months last year and that was my experience at that time.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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I think your chosen artwork perfectly matches your well-chosen words here. This is indeed a difficult situation. I dealt with long covid for several months last year and that was my experience at that time.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much!
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I find a different image on this posting than before. I like the thought of old feet walking upon the earth; it brings out how quietly those old feet can walk .... silently. The picture reminds me of Scrooge.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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I find a different image on this posting than before. I like the thought of old feet walking upon the earth; it brings out how quietly those old feet can walk .... silently. The picture reminds me of Scrooge.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Hello Rosemary... I thought disheveled meant messy and unkempt... which my mind can be at times.... LOL. I will research it, but I certainly do not think I have a dirty mind. :). Thank you.
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I was analyzing, trying to understand what you meant. Thank you for your explanation.
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Author,
a beautifully presented 3-5-3 entry for this writing prompt entry.
Your words pair with your image perfectly... and I love the use of 'befuddled'... couldn't have use a better word... and considering the subject befuddled has a playful ring to it within the haze.
All the very best in this contest Author, as I said, a great entry with all the possibilities and a clever composition to take home the prize.
With our thoughts we create...
focus to break free.
Kind regards,
James.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Hi Author,
a beautifully presented 3-5-3 entry for this writing prompt entry.
Your words pair with your image perfectly... and I love the use of 'befuddled'... couldn't have use a better word... and considering the subject befuddled has a playful ring to it within the haze.
All the very best in this contest Author, as I said, a great entry with all the possibilities and a clever composition to take home the prize.
With our thoughts we create...
focus to break free.
Kind regards,
James.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Hello James... thanks so much!!
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My pleasure and all the very best in the contest!