Saltwater Ghosts
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Saltwater Ghosts"Young girl with special abilities.
21 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
"silver over the dunes" paints quite an illusion of a welcoming sight inviting one and all to come to those dunes and enjoy the view.
The "she asks" tag after "Did I wake you, darling" not really necessary.
Good description of "Nonni's" face. How the features contrast brought out.
"let's the honey" should be lets the honey.
The "She's in Heaven" is a completely different scenario than Heddy having tea with Nonni. A kind of out of the blue storyline change that Heddy's mother tried to claim was a dream.
Seems Heddy may be having a difficult time coping with Nonni being gone as young children often do, especially if they possess an over-active imagination as Heddy appears to.
This could make an interesting story.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2024
  |
"silver over the dunes" paints quite an illusion of a welcoming sight inviting one and all to come to those dunes and enjoy the view.
The "she asks" tag after "Did I wake you, darling" not really necessary.
Good description of "Nonni's" face. How the features contrast brought out.
"let's the honey" should be lets the honey.
The "She's in Heaven" is a completely different scenario than Heddy having tea with Nonni. A kind of out of the blue storyline change that Heddy's mother tried to claim was a dream.
Seems Heddy may be having a difficult time coping with Nonni being gone as young children often do, especially if they possess an over-active imagination as Heddy appears to.
This could make an interesting story.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2024
-
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Gretchen
Comment from Ric Myworld
This is one of those stories that puts me in deep thought and my wayward imagination just sort of drifts off into Never Never Land. I'm anxious to find out where these thoughts go from here. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2024
|
This is one of those stories that puts me in deep thought and my wayward imagination just sort of drifts off into Never Never Land. I'm anxious to find out where these thoughts go from here. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2024
-
Oh, there is more. Three chapters so far. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I love your ghost story... it's intriguing and sweet ... not scary. I love the plot and character development.
The word imagery is awesome....
"The moon spills silver over the dunes"
"The dark of night still owns the world"
" Her face is soft, like a piece of glass tossed and tumbled by the sea"
I look forward to reading the next chapter.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
 |
I love your ghost story... it's intriguing and sweet ... not scary. I love the plot and character development.
The word imagery is awesome....
"The moon spills silver over the dunes"
"The dark of night still owns the world"
" Her face is soft, like a piece of glass tossed and tumbled by the sea"
I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
-
Well, thank you for this . I really appreciate this awesome review. Also for the extra star. Gretchen
Comment from John Ciarmello
What a great begining! I had to catch up and am on the second chapter, now!
This beginning took me in a warm direction and the fact that Nonni is real to Heddy lends itself to so many possibilities, real and supernatural.
I going to say, from writer to writer that Heddy (not Nonni) is going to show you the way.
Do things we see and experience as children have to disappear with adulthood and who's to say a ghostly relative can't learn from her perceptive grandchild. Time will tell!
I love this saga, Gretchen.
Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
|
What a great begining! I had to catch up and am on the second chapter, now!
This beginning took me in a warm direction and the fact that Nonni is real to Heddy lends itself to so many possibilities, real and supernatural.
I going to say, from writer to writer that Heddy (not Nonni) is going to show you the way.
Do things we see and experience as children have to disappear with adulthood and who's to say a ghostly relative can't learn from her perceptive grandchild. Time will tell!
I love this saga, Gretchen.
Best, JohnC
Comment Written 02-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
-
Thank you so much, John. Your encouragement is awesome. I do believe sometimes we get advice or direction from beyond. Through symbols or dreams. Nonni is definitely very real to Heddy. I really appreciate this awesome review. Gretchen
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Gretchen,
You really know how to set the scene gal. Well done. I'm looking forward to the journey with you seeing where this book is going to go. I already know that I'm going to enjoy it.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
|
Hello Gretchen,
You really know how to set the scene gal. Well done. I'm looking forward to the journey with you seeing where this book is going to go. I already know that I'm going to enjoy it.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 02-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
-
Thank you so much. I'm so glad you enjoyed this. Thank you for the awesome words and the extra star. Gretchen
Comment from Navada
This is a really fascinating introduction. I would be interested to keep reading about Heddy and learn more about the situation she is in. You've raised lots of inteersting questions which is the best thing to do in an introduction. Tetched was a new word for me - I had to look it up. Good to do some learning while being entertained! :)
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
|
This is a really fascinating introduction. I would be interested to keep reading about Heddy and learn more about the situation she is in. You've raised lots of inteersting questions which is the best thing to do in an introduction. Tetched was a new word for me - I had to look it up. Good to do some learning while being entertained! :)
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
-
Tetched is a good old Southern word. Usually it refers to someone who had odd behavior or wasn't very bright. A misunderstood person will sometimes be called tetched. Thank you so much for this encouraging review. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
Thank you for yet another new story. Heddy looks like a bit of a dreamer. I am certain I will stick with you on this new trail. How old is Heddy? Obviously, her folks are still living.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
|
Thank you for yet another new story. Heddy looks like a bit of a dreamer. I am certain I will stick with you on this new trail. How old is Heddy? Obviously, her folks are still living.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
-
Heddy is about eleven or twelve. Heddy has a big imagination. Thank you for this awesome review and the extra star. Gretchen
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a great beginning for a book. I know how the child feels. My teacher hated me (for 3 years), but she didn't like the others all that well either. Nonni's advice was right on. She will know who to ask questions of when she meets them. Very good writing, but don't give up on your story that is online now. It is also very reader capturing. Correct last word: wouldn't
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
|
This is a great beginning for a book. I know how the child feels. My teacher hated me (for 3 years), but she didn't like the others all that well either. Nonni's advice was right on. She will know who to ask questions of when she meets them. Very good writing, but don't give up on your story that is online now. It is also very reader capturing. Correct last word: wouldn't
Comment Written 31-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
-
I'm not stopping Miranda. This one is just nagging me. Has been for two weeks now. Lol. Thank you so much. I'm so glad you like it. Thank you for the awesome review and rating. Gretchen
Comment from Mrs. KT
Absolutely delicious, Gretchen!
I so hope you continue and write more installments.
Stupid teacher; that's all I have to say about that.
I love your characterizations of Heddy and Nonni - and that you have written your entire story in the present tense.
If I may:
~Thats (That's)just a fact of life."
~I look down at my hands in my lap. Nonni was there last night. It wasn't a dream. Nonni didn't leave me. She wouldnt. (wouldn't)
Keep it going, Gretchen!
I love every morsel.
Happy New Year!
diane
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
|
Absolutely delicious, Gretchen!
I so hope you continue and write more installments.
Stupid teacher; that's all I have to say about that.
I love your characterizations of Heddy and Nonni - and that you have written your entire story in the present tense.
If I may:
~Thats (That's)just a fact of life."
~I look down at my hands in my lap. Nonni was there last night. It wasn't a dream. Nonni didn't leave me. She wouldnt. (wouldn't)
Keep it going, Gretchen!
I love every morsel.
Happy New Year!
diane
Comment Written 31-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
-
Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. I'm so glad you liked this. Thank you for this. You made my day. Happy New Year! Gretchen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I don't know where this story is going, but I am definitely taking the journey with us. I really enjoyed reading this beginning. You have another winner on your hands.
"So I should just stop asking questions?" (Comma after 'So'. I normally forget it myself and always get corrected. LOL)
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
|
I don't know where this story is going, but I am definitely taking the journey with us. I really enjoyed reading this beginning. You have another winner on your hands.
"So I should just stop asking questions?" (Comma after 'So'. I normally forget it myself and always get corrected. LOL)
Comment Written 31-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023
-
Thank you. I know better than to post late at night. My eyes are tired. I'll fix that comma and I'm glad you enjoyed this. Gretchen