2023 Gypsy's Tanka
Viewing comments for Chapter 89 "Dusk Summer Breeze"-
7 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This wavering shadow has me concerned. Did he have second thoughts, or worried about the honeymoon, or too much to drink?? I know it's left up to our interpretation. This is another wonderful poem and presentation. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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This wavering shadow has me concerned. Did he have second thoughts, or worried about the honeymoon, or too much to drink?? I know it's left up to our interpretation. This is another wonderful poem and presentation. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
Comment Written 24-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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you are right, that is what the poem is about (*-*)
Thank you very much for your kind review. Happy holidays!
Gypsy hugs
Comment from aryr
This was a beautiful tanka, Gypsy. The bride and groom delighted all, they shone this day, even though his shadow wavered. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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This was a beautiful tanka, Gypsy. The bride and groom delighted all, they shone this day, even though his shadow wavered. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 24-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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Thank you very much for your kind review. Happy holidays!
Gypsy hugs
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Most welcome, Gypsy.
Comment from shelley kaye
this was a great wedding gogyohka! sweet and romantic...
suggestion: maybe delete the THEs?
dusk summer breeze
meanders through garden
during wedding reception--
groom makes a toast
and his shadow wavers
just a thought ;)
nice and sweet one
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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this was a great wedding gogyohka! sweet and romantic...
suggestion: maybe delete the THEs?
dusk summer breeze
meanders through garden
during wedding reception--
groom makes a toast
and his shadow wavers
just a thought ;)
nice and sweet one
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 24-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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Thank you very much, Shelley. I agree with some of the 'thes' but some i need if i don't want the poem sound like a telegram.
happy holidays!
Comment from Ricky1024
"Dark Summer Breeze"
Seems like there were a few doubts bringing the future groom to his knees?
Perhaps became allergic to her disease?
Sometimes a mutual bond of marriage?
Baby in carriage?
Well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
Thanks for sharing this and have a great day!
Doctor Ricky
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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"Dark Summer Breeze"
Seems like there were a few doubts bringing the future groom to his knees?
Perhaps became allergic to her disease?
Sometimes a mutual bond of marriage?
Baby in carriage?
Well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
Thanks for sharing this and have a great day!
Doctor Ricky
Comment Written 24-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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Thank you very much for your kind review. Happy holidays!
Gypsy hugs
Comment from lyenochka
Does his shadow waver because he's not certain that he made the right decision? Or, is his shadow wavering, quivering with excitement over the honeymoon night? Lovely picture! May they see many dawns and dusks together!
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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Does his shadow waver because he's not certain that he made the right decision? Or, is his shadow wavering, quivering with excitement over the honeymoon night? Lovely picture! May they see many dawns and dusks together!
Comment Written 24-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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Yes, that is right, he has second thoughts
thank you very much, big sister (*=*) happy holidays
love you
marival
Comment from GWHARGIS
Could the waver just be nerves? Or could it be a groom who is having doubts. Hoping it is just the natural effects of the breeze, the lights and a play of shadows. This was a mysterious poem. Gretchen
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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Could the waver just be nerves? Or could it be a groom who is having doubts. Hoping it is just the natural effects of the breeze, the lights and a play of shadows. This was a mysterious poem. Gretchen
Comment Written 23-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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yes, he is second thoughts. Thank you very much for your kind review. Happy holidays!
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Frank Malley
This poem, "Dusk Summer Breeze,' starts off by describing an evening wedding reception. In pretty but ordinary words, its first three lines describe a summer breeze that winds as though alive through a garden. I don't know if my sense of the last two lines is what the author wished to convey, but in describing the groom's shadow as wavering while he makes a toast suggests a hidden uncertainty, something troubling, about this event that occurs within the crepuscular loveliness of what should be a happy piece of time.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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This poem, "Dusk Summer Breeze,' starts off by describing an evening wedding reception. In pretty but ordinary words, its first three lines describe a summer breeze that winds as though alive through a garden. I don't know if my sense of the last two lines is what the author wished to convey, but in describing the groom's shadow as wavering while he makes a toast suggests a hidden uncertainty, something troubling, about this event that occurs within the crepuscular loveliness of what should be a happy piece of time.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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Thank you very much for your kind review. Happy holidays!
Gypsy hugs