Tradition
Two traditions, one love.4 total reviews
Comment from Wy Jung
Something about this gripped me. It was so ordinary, yet chock full of description. The backstory played out cleverly through the dialogue very subtly until, boom, the reader is suddenly a confidante and friend of the main character rooting for her to succeed, with few doubts that she will as the last line finishes it off. Masterfully done. Good storytelling and super easy to read.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2023
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Something about this gripped me. It was so ordinary, yet chock full of description. The backstory played out cleverly through the dialogue very subtly until, boom, the reader is suddenly a confidante and friend of the main character rooting for her to succeed, with few doubts that she will as the last line finishes it off. Masterfully done. Good storytelling and super easy to read.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2023
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Thank you for this. I pulled this from a longer work I wrote several years ago, and was worried the essence of the characters might not make it through this snippet. I thought the final line was a great place to stop, as it crystalized a lot about her.
Comment from gramalot8
Very good story on the perception of love and acceptance from a teenager's viewpoint.
Your dialogue between your characters made them all come to life and believable for your readers.
I loved the yearning she felt at the end of your story. Very much what a young teen girl would feel. Thanks for sharing this with us and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2023
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Very good story on the perception of love and acceptance from a teenager's viewpoint.
Your dialogue between your characters made them all come to life and believable for your readers.
I loved the yearning she felt at the end of your story. Very much what a young teen girl would feel. Thanks for sharing this with us and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2023
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Thank you. I enjoy writing dialogue most of all, as it allows for a direct window into the characters.
Comment from Austin Yu
Tradition is truly such a powerful thing that connects people together, especially during the holidays. Apart from that, I loved the imagery you used, like "Through glass panels covering the walls and roof, Christmas lights sparkled, refracting through the steam condensing there." I felt as though I was right there with the characters in the story :)
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2023
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Tradition is truly such a powerful thing that connects people together, especially during the holidays. Apart from that, I loved the imagery you used, like "Through glass panels covering the walls and roof, Christmas lights sparkled, refracting through the steam condensing there." I felt as though I was right there with the characters in the story :)
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2023
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Thank you. When I write, I'm always trying to imagine what one might see in my mind. It's good to know the resulting descriptions can produce a picture in someone else's mind.
Comment from royowen
This is what must have happened experientially with a lot of girls, I can't say I liked a girl anymore or less than she was, but it was difficult being a 'good' girl back in those days, just bein yourself, not what others expected you to be. Beautifully written my friend, merry Christmas, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2023
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This is what must have happened experientially with a lot of girls, I can't say I liked a girl anymore or less than she was, but it was difficult being a 'good' girl back in those days, just bein yourself, not what others expected you to be. Beautifully written my friend, merry Christmas, blessings Roy
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2023
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Thank you. It was all so many years ago for me, it's good to know the memories of what life was like then still come through.