The Sea of Grit
Take courage in the things you do.15 total reviews
Comment from Tetamarina66
Another well written poem also powerful sounding as well.
I also written a Christmas poem which I also entered into the Fanstory Christmas poetry contest.
Since I last seen you around here on Fanstory I not only had entered one of my stories to one of the Fanstory true story contests but I also had written more stories as well. And as to match the pianist story I had written before Christmas you could check out my piano playing videos on Tik Tok under tetamarina1966. I believe the videos will correspond with the Pianist story I had posted
Hope your Christmas was good.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2023
  |
Another well written poem also powerful sounding as well.
I also written a Christmas poem which I also entered into the Fanstory Christmas poetry contest.
Since I last seen you around here on Fanstory I not only had entered one of my stories to one of the Fanstory true story contests but I also had written more stories as well. And as to match the pianist story I had written before Christmas you could check out my piano playing videos on Tik Tok under tetamarina1966. I believe the videos will correspond with the Pianist story I had posted
Hope your Christmas was good.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much Marina!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
An unusual and memorable write using the sea and the sand as metaphors for people subjected to the strong struggles and challenges of life. While the rock more sparsely scattered is notable for its resilience. I like the idea of the sand weeping and the relentless action of the sea, forever threatening with its erosive force. Frankly, I think your imagery is so powerfully effective that you don't really need to include the meaning . i.e. morals. It's an excellent free verse which does the job for you. And it loops so well I didn't actually notice which is a very good sign! Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2023
|
An unusual and memorable write using the sea and the sand as metaphors for people subjected to the strong struggles and challenges of life. While the rock more sparsely scattered is notable for its resilience. I like the idea of the sand weeping and the relentless action of the sea, forever threatening with its erosive force. Frankly, I think your imagery is so powerfully effective that you don't really need to include the meaning . i.e. morals. It's an excellent free verse which does the job for you. And it loops so well I didn't actually notice which is a very good sign! Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 23-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much Debbie!
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent metaphor to illustrate the need for grit to overcome obstacles unpredictability of life as it washes unto our shores.
Just one thing that you will need to edit because in this contest an end rhyme pattern is required. And it is ABCB. You have enough time to make these changes before the contest closes.
Great idea and poem so I wish you much luck with the Contest Committee. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2023
|
Excellent metaphor to illustrate the need for grit to overcome obstacles unpredictability of life as it washes unto our shores.
Just one thing that you will need to edit because in this contest an end rhyme pattern is required. And it is ABCB. You have enough time to make these changes before the contest closes.
Great idea and poem so I wish you much luck with the Contest Committee. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 23-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much!!
Comment from Julie Helms
Wonderful loop poem! In fact, I didn't realize it was one until the end. That's a good sign, because it doesn't sound contrived like they often do. What got me at the end is your word weeps in the last line. You are using a verb like a noun, and it sounds a little funny. You have a Powerful message in this beautifully written poem. Thanks so much for sharing!
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2023
|
Wonderful loop poem! In fact, I didn't realize it was one until the end. That's a good sign, because it doesn't sound contrived like they often do. What got me at the end is your word weeps in the last line. You are using a verb like a noun, and it sounds a little funny. You have a Powerful message in this beautifully written poem. Thanks so much for sharing!
Comment Written 23-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much for your kind words!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Wowie, zowie! A loop poem I actually really like! Usually, this is my least favorite form of poetry, but this one I found delightful. It felt natural, rather than contrived, which, I think, is my biggest complaint about this format. Great work. I'm sorry I don't have a six to offer you, though certainly it is worthy. I'll give you a couple of pumps to assuage my guilt. Nicely done, Austin. xo
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
|
Wowie, zowie! A loop poem I actually really like! Usually, this is my least favorite form of poetry, but this one I found delightful. It felt natural, rather than contrived, which, I think, is my biggest complaint about this format. Great work. I'm sorry I don't have a six to offer you, though certainly it is worthy. I'll give you a couple of pumps to assuage my guilt. Nicely done, Austin. xo
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much! Yes, loop poetry is tricky for me, as it was the first time for me, believe it or not. I am so glad you liked it!
-
What?! This is you fresh out of the loop poetry gate? You have some serious talent!! I'm going to be watching as your FS star rises!! xo
Comment from royowen
Absolutely, hope can be a tenuous thing, but never lose, like a rock found on a beach of shifting sand, or an oasis in a desert, life can be forged in an ocean of death, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
|
Absolutely, hope can be a tenuous thing, but never lose, like a rock found on a beach of shifting sand, or an oasis in a desert, life can be forged in an ocean of death, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
-
Hi Roy! Your interpretation of my poem was exactly what I was going for. Thanks for reading :)
-
Well done
Comment from Sally Law
Hello, Austin! What was deep, spiritual loop poem you have here. I see the ocean/waves (uncertainty, dangers, loss, etc. etc.) verses the sand/rock (safety, security, home, comforts, predictability) as the things that don't give in or move. I'm reminded of the scriptures from the Psalms: The Lord is my rock and fortress, in whom I take refuge....
Just beautiful, Austin, and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes in the upcoming contest.
Sal :))
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
|
Hello, Austin! What was deep, spiritual loop poem you have here. I see the ocean/waves (uncertainty, dangers, loss, etc. etc.) verses the sand/rock (safety, security, home, comforts, predictability) as the things that don't give in or move. I'm reminded of the scriptures from the Psalms: The Lord is my rock and fortress, in whom I take refuge....
Just beautiful, Austin, and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes in the upcoming contest.
Sal :))
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
-
Hi Sally! Thank you so much, and happy holidays!
Comment from JSD
Excellent Loop Poem. It must be good because the repeated words were not obtrusive, and this also has a very good message about life and fortitude. Well done and good luck with this. x
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
|
Excellent Loop Poem. It must be good because the repeated words were not obtrusive, and this also has a very good message about life and fortitude. Well done and good luck with this. x
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so so much!
Comment from Navada
I really like your chosen imagery and the emphasis on steadfastness. This extended metaphor of life has a lot to teach us and I'm sure we can all relate to it through the lens of our own experience. Thanks for the share!
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
|
I really like your chosen imagery and the emphasis on steadfastness. This extended metaphor of life has a lot to teach us and I'm sure we can all relate to it through the lens of our own experience. Thanks for the share!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much for the review, and happy holidays!
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Oh and I do like your poem. First of all Austin, I have to tell you that I do not do much reviewing, but from the beginning I told you that you intrigued me. But also somehow I felt like watching over you like a mother hen, so the vultures wouldn't devour you. But as I watch and review you and get to know you better, I see you can hold your own pretty dang well. So now, you just have a good supportive friend who is always there for you.
This is an excellent Loop poem. I completely got it, at least to my satisfaction and even had my own feelings about it as I read the poem, and realized as I listened to your definition in author's notes, I wasn't far off. I was thinking about the description of character from the Bible of building our life on sand or on the rocks. I loved how you worded your poem and I am guessing it should do very well in the contest. However it is a committee one, so could go either way for you. Be proud, because it is a well done Loop entry. Thanks Austin, and great job!! Debi
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
|
Oh and I do like your poem. First of all Austin, I have to tell you that I do not do much reviewing, but from the beginning I told you that you intrigued me. But also somehow I felt like watching over you like a mother hen, so the vultures wouldn't devour you. But as I watch and review you and get to know you better, I see you can hold your own pretty dang well. So now, you just have a good supportive friend who is always there for you.
This is an excellent Loop poem. I completely got it, at least to my satisfaction and even had my own feelings about it as I read the poem, and realized as I listened to your definition in author's notes, I wasn't far off. I was thinking about the description of character from the Bible of building our life on sand or on the rocks. I loved how you worded your poem and I am guessing it should do very well in the contest. However it is a committee one, so could go either way for you. Be proud, because it is a well done Loop entry. Thanks Austin, and great job!! Debi
Comment Written 20-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
-
I?m so glad to have you as a friend on here! Have a great day and thanks for the encouraging words.
