Week One 2023 - 2024
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "My First Loves"... Freeverse ...
5 total reviews
Comment from Amanda marchuk
In this poem, the poet explores the themes of friendship, memories, and the passing of time. The opening lines immediately capture the reader's attention with references to iconic musicians and their words of wisdom. The use of these figures adds depth and meaning to the overall narrative.
The poet's choice of concise and evocative lines effectively conveys the emotions and experiences shared within the friendships being depicted. The juxtaposition of various voices and perspectives adds complexity to the relationships being described, highlighting the unique dynamics between the poet and their friends.
The poem explores the notion of intimacy, both emotional and physical. The speaker reminisces about moments of connection and vulnerability, symbolized by the desire to "undress" their friend metaphorically. The use of sensual imagery, such as "something slippery when wet," adds a layer of sensuality to the poem, enhancing the emotional depth of the relationships.
The mention of a "far-off land dark and brown" implies a sense of distance and foreignness, which may represent the differences between the poet and their friends. This distinction, however, is overshadowed by the shared experiences, laughter, and stolen dreams that bind them together.
As the poem progresses, a sense of melancholy emerges, as the poet acknowledges the passage of time and how it has gradually dimmed the spark that once burned brightly. The image of an "ashtray" and "rinsing the cup" suggests the act of letting go and bidding farewell to the past. Despite this, the poet reiterates that these relationships will always hold a special place in their heart.
Overall, the poem effectively explores the complexities and nostalgic sentiments associated with past friendships. The use of vivid imagery, memorable references, and concise language contribute to its emotional resonance. The professional tone employed by the poet enhances the sense of reflection and introspection, inviting readers to contemplate their own relationships and the impermanence of time.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2023
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In this poem, the poet explores the themes of friendship, memories, and the passing of time. The opening lines immediately capture the reader's attention with references to iconic musicians and their words of wisdom. The use of these figures adds depth and meaning to the overall narrative.
The poet's choice of concise and evocative lines effectively conveys the emotions and experiences shared within the friendships being depicted. The juxtaposition of various voices and perspectives adds complexity to the relationships being described, highlighting the unique dynamics between the poet and their friends.
The poem explores the notion of intimacy, both emotional and physical. The speaker reminisces about moments of connection and vulnerability, symbolized by the desire to "undress" their friend metaphorically. The use of sensual imagery, such as "something slippery when wet," adds a layer of sensuality to the poem, enhancing the emotional depth of the relationships.
The mention of a "far-off land dark and brown" implies a sense of distance and foreignness, which may represent the differences between the poet and their friends. This distinction, however, is overshadowed by the shared experiences, laughter, and stolen dreams that bind them together.
As the poem progresses, a sense of melancholy emerges, as the poet acknowledges the passage of time and how it has gradually dimmed the spark that once burned brightly. The image of an "ashtray" and "rinsing the cup" suggests the act of letting go and bidding farewell to the past. Despite this, the poet reiterates that these relationships will always hold a special place in their heart.
Overall, the poem effectively explores the complexities and nostalgic sentiments associated with past friendships. The use of vivid imagery, memorable references, and concise language contribute to its emotional resonance. The professional tone employed by the poet enhances the sense of reflection and introspection, inviting readers to contemplate their own relationships and the impermanence of time.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2023
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Excellent my friend ... This is my poem review of the year ... much appreciated thank you !
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Absolutely thanks for sharing your beautiful poem
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Thank you very much ... muchly appreciated !
Comment from Julie Helms
Really clever poem. The end was a surprise, so it was fun to go back and reread once I knew the secret! I particularly liked what David said. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2023
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Really clever poem. The end was a surprise, so it was fun to go back and reread once I knew the secret! I particularly liked what David said. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2023
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Excellent he is one of my favourites also ... !
Comment from JSD
An intriguing and thought-provoking poem which comes clearer after two or three reads. Excellent use of symbolism and imagery and some brilliantly chosen vocabulary. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
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An intriguing and thought-provoking poem which comes clearer after two or three reads. Excellent use of symbolism and imagery and some brilliantly chosen vocabulary. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
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Thank you ... very much appreciated ... glad you enjoyed !
Comment from Austin Yu
This poem describes true love in a lovely manner. "We talked and danced the midnight hour the flame connected us it was our light" is an excellent line of your poem, as it introduces depth to the feeling of two souls intertwined with affection.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
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This poem describes true love in a lovely manner. "We talked and danced the midnight hour the flame connected us it was our light" is an excellent line of your poem, as it introduces depth to the feeling of two souls intertwined with affection.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
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It certainly does quite intimate for what it was ... you should read the other review on read ratings button you'll get it lol.
Comment from Janis M.
I like the tone of this one and I get that there's a mother metaphor and reference here but I'm afraid I've had a pretty vanilla life so things go over my head. Who are the names in reference to? I get the reference about the cigarette and cup at the end, but I don't want to make any assumptions on this one.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
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I like the tone of this one and I get that there's a mother metaphor and reference here but I'm afraid I've had a pretty vanilla life so things go over my head. Who are the names in reference to? I get the reference about the cigarette and cup at the end, but I don't want to make any assumptions on this one.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
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To assume makes an ass out of u and me ... you got it in one the clue is in the piece and you already stated it it is my cigarette and cup of tea ... ta da !
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Is it about quitting smoking and alcohol!? lol see that?s why I don?t want to make assumptions,
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not really though they are thinking about criminalising tobacco over in good old Great Britain pretty menacing when you consider what they are trying to legalise ... euthanasia ... stop us killing us one way just to kill us another !
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lol. Oh. Yeah they have done silly stuff here in the United States as well. Don?t get me started on the things they want to pump inside kids.
Alright, I need another clue then!
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Don't get me started either ... THERE ARE NO FEMALE NAMES ... it truly was a first love with my tea and tobacco ... Jimi Hendrix was the first clue Bon Jovi was the next clue Mark Knopfler summed it up and David Gilmour ruminated about it ... I picked it of the shelf in the shop and all it needed was something wet to go with it which happened to be my tea lol. My first loves truly indeed.
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Okay. I generally got that. I was thinking to myself I know that he isn?t talking about people, these are names of something. I just didn?t know what they were lol. Thanks! Haha
And if they were people? lol I wouldn?t have said nothing. Hence why I don?t assume. Lol I wasn?t going down that road.
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Not to worry if I want to disclose I will ... lol.
