Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Unbreakable"This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
13 total reviews
Comment from EILEEN LAW
Wow. Get that ambulance. This is a good read. Great way to get a reader gripped into the story.
One small correction. Tell Tale - Not tell tail.
Great chapter.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Wow. Get that ambulance. This is a good read. Great way to get a reader gripped into the story.
One small correction. Tell Tale - Not tell tail.
Great chapter.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Thank you again for this fine review further to my message. I appreciate the kind rating As well. I hope you have the best evenings. Thank you once again for stopping in and reading along!
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Velcommen
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Lea,
I know that it seemed necessary at the time to go back and retrieve your things, but as I found out, it came at a cost. I guess I'll discover whether or not you called an ambulance. I don't know how things are in Canada, but I suspect that in this country, if EMS showed up at a situation like you described, the cops would probably be called.
I understand about your desire to live in the mountains. I'm surrounded by them in the Matanuska-Susitna Valley, and I lived with them down in Hoonah as well. They are beautiful, but up here they're all covered completely in snow right now. I hope you find a suitable place soon gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Hello Lea,
I know that it seemed necessary at the time to go back and retrieve your things, but as I found out, it came at a cost. I guess I'll discover whether or not you called an ambulance. I don't know how things are in Canada, but I suspect that in this country, if EMS showed up at a situation like you described, the cops would probably be called.
I understand about your desire to live in the mountains. I'm surrounded by them in the Matanuska-Susitna Valley, and I lived with them down in Hoonah as well. They are beautiful, but up here they're all covered completely in snow right now. I hope you find a suitable place soon gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 19-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Sounds like it's incredibly beautiful where you're at just as it is here in the mountains. Thank you again Tom for a wonderful kind review! You da best! If I haven't said so already. I hope you have a wonderful holiday and a great new year and a wonderful evening too!
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Thanks so much Lea- it's beautiful, but chilly. Down to single digits tonight.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This chapter was frightening. The description of the puddles and spots of blood makes the reader think someone has probably been injured beyond recovery. I don't think you meant to say the spots and puddles were moving toward the living room, though. Maybe try: By the dim light, I could see puddles and spots of blood increasing in frequency on the floor and walls, as I moved toward the living room.
And the mountains sound like a good place to live. We live fewer than six miles from the Wasatch Mountains in my home state of Utah. Cockroaches are so rare, I haven't seen one in more than a decade. Good luck with the turkey dinner, if you haven't already had it.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
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This chapter was frightening. The description of the puddles and spots of blood makes the reader think someone has probably been injured beyond recovery. I don't think you meant to say the spots and puddles were moving toward the living room, though. Maybe try: By the dim light, I could see puddles and spots of blood increasing in frequency on the floor and walls, as I moved toward the living room.
And the mountains sound like a good place to live. We live fewer than six miles from the Wasatch Mountains in my home state of Utah. Cockroaches are so rare, I haven't seen one in more than a decade. Good luck with the turkey dinner, if you haven't already had it.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
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Thank you. Yeah, you good luck with your Turkey dinner too. Yeah unfortunately the cockroaches and the rats are prolific this here disgusting things really. Thank you so much for reading so much as you have and offering so many kind suggestions and spending so much time with me. I appreciate it so very much thank you again!
Comment from JSD
Another graphic and horrific description to frighten us all to bits. the dramatic narration is superb, followed by an excellent cliffhanger. Well done and thank you for continuing to write this wonderful stuff. x
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Another graphic and horrific description to frighten us all to bits. the dramatic narration is superb, followed by an excellent cliffhanger. Well done and thank you for continuing to write this wonderful stuff. x
Comment Written 18-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Thank you, you're very kind and you're review. I appreciate your wonderful comment. I'm so glad you liked it. I'm so glad you're here too. And I hope you have the best holiday if I haven't said it six times already! Thank you my friend have an awesome evening!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am hoping that you get away from Mr. D. He is an evil man. Again, you don't hurt somebody you love, no matter what your culture is. The exact he's set for the children is horrible. This story needs to get out there.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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I am hoping that you get away from Mr. D. He is an evil man. Again, you don't hurt somebody you love, no matter what your culture is. The exact he's set for the children is horrible. This story needs to get out there.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Hi Barbara, thank you so much. Thank you for your review for your time. You're such an amazing writer though I appreciate everything you say! He gets his for sure! Thank you again I hope you have a wonderful holiday and a great new year!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Excellent chapter. Very full of excitement and a well-worded, well-paced story line. Plus, as always, you ended in exactly the best possible spot.
This is a genuine question, not a teacher-worded form of is-this-a-mistake? Is this actually a thing in your country (detail ice), or is this a typo?
I grabbed detail ice and brought it out...
I'm glad you're going to the mountains. It sounds like a place you love and will thrive. Six weeks is a long time to continue to live with rats and roaches, though. It's nice that you're going to have some special holiday time with your uncle and cousins.
xoxo
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Excellent chapter. Very full of excitement and a well-worded, well-paced story line. Plus, as always, you ended in exactly the best possible spot.
This is a genuine question, not a teacher-worded form of is-this-a-mistake? Is this actually a thing in your country (detail ice), or is this a typo?
I grabbed detail ice and brought it out...
I'm glad you're going to the mountains. It sounds like a place you love and will thrive. Six weeks is a long time to continue to live with rats and roaches, though. It's nice that you're going to have some special holiday time with your uncle and cousins.
xoxo
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Thank you again my friend appreciate your fine rating and review. I hope your days are good in your feeling okay! Happy holiday!
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Anytime. xo
Comment from Jim Wile
Ugh! That man must sense you, because he has an uncanny knack for coming back right when you are there trying to help. I have a feeling you're going to best him again.
It just amazes me how unwilling Mrs. D. is to leave him and take the children with her. She is sentencing herself and the kids to a lifetime of misery unless she leaves. What a f'd up culture she comes from that makes her feel she must stay with this man. Makes you wonder if there was anything that would make her want to leave.
This is riveting as always, Lea, and profoundly sad. - Jim
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
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Ugh! That man must sense you, because he has an uncanny knack for coming back right when you are there trying to help. I have a feeling you're going to best him again.
It just amazes me how unwilling Mrs. D. is to leave him and take the children with her. She is sentencing herself and the kids to a lifetime of misery unless she leaves. What a f'd up culture she comes from that makes her feel she must stay with this man. Makes you wonder if there was anything that would make her want to leave.
This is riveting as always, Lea, and profoundly sad. - Jim
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
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Hi Jim thank you again! You have a singular clarity which I enjoy very much! Air reviews are always so well thought out and I thank you for that! Hope you have the most wonderful christmas and new year too!
Comment from BethShelby
How can this poor woman stay with a man who does that to her. I hope he doesn't hurt you. It can't be because you are there, because he has done things like this before. I'm surpirsed he doesn't hurt the children. Wasn't there another older woman there when you first came or did I dream that?
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
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How can this poor woman stay with a man who does that to her. I hope he doesn't hurt you. It can't be because you are there, because he has done things like this before. I'm surpirsed he doesn't hurt the children. Wasn't there another older woman there when you first came or did I dream that?
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
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Oh yes, she could disappear after that. One weekend of cooking for the family never came back. Thank you so much for your review. Beth is always I appreciate you so much. And I really hope that you have a wonderful holiday filled with love and laughter and a fabulous New Year too. Thank you again!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Although your main story is excellently expressed with the build up and horror of your eventual discovery, It's the verse and introduction that make this such a compelling read. There are errors which I'll go on to detail but your wonderful description of the freedom and enchantment of nature in the mountains contrasts so powerfully with your younger's self's plight and adds a layer of deep poignancy. Of course, you're still fighting the vermin side of life, a familiar theme in your writing.
Finding Mrs D in that condition fuels still more anger at the cruel inhumanity of Mr D, the shock you must have suffered even though you knew from experience what the outcome would be.
Your edits: The mountains (are) where I want to be; Up on the plateau (no need for 's); Still disgusted (by) the rodents and frogs; are all (that) can (be) done right now; I will battle the cockroaches for (ground?); it truly (is) a thing of rare beauty; Looking around the house (it) was demolished; Twist(ing) (would) make it worse; Place(d) it upon her head; tell (tale). So close to being a six, Lea, but the errors interrupted the flow of the prose for me. Take care Debbie x
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
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Although your main story is excellently expressed with the build up and horror of your eventual discovery, It's the verse and introduction that make this such a compelling read. There are errors which I'll go on to detail but your wonderful description of the freedom and enchantment of nature in the mountains contrasts so powerfully with your younger's self's plight and adds a layer of deep poignancy. Of course, you're still fighting the vermin side of life, a familiar theme in your writing.
Finding Mrs D in that condition fuels still more anger at the cruel inhumanity of Mr D, the shock you must have suffered even though you knew from experience what the outcome would be.
Your edits: The mountains (are) where I want to be; Up on the plateau (no need for 's); Still disgusted (by) the rodents and frogs; are all (that) can (be) done right now; I will battle the cockroaches for (ground?); it truly (is) a thing of rare beauty; Looking around the house (it) was demolished; Twist(ing) (would) make it worse; Place(d) it upon her head; tell (tale). So close to being a six, Lea, but the errors interrupted the flow of the prose for me. Take care Debbie x
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
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Thank you, Debbie for your kind review. I'm gonna go over that for sure and make it better. I hope that you are well and you're caring for your holiday. And I hope that you have the best holiday to fill with love and laughter! Thank you again my friend where all that you do!
Comment from Jacob1395
I could really feel your desire in this piece to help Mrs D get out of this situation. You can feel what an evil person Mr D is, and what a controlling individual he is as well. It really does make me sick that people like him exist in the world. Another excellent chapter.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
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I could really feel your desire in this piece to help Mrs D get out of this situation. You can feel what an evil person Mr D is, and what a controlling individual he is as well. It really does make me sick that people like him exist in the world. Another excellent chapter.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
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Thank you jacob so happy to see you here! As always I appreciate you writing and reviewing your thoughts Are important to me as all reviewers thoughts are I take them all too hard so I thank you for your clear insight And your fine review!