One Man's Calling
Viewing comments for Chapter 78 "One Man's Calling, ch 78"Following God
12 total reviews
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. This is a chapter about good and evil. The gloves come off between the devil's representative, Soapy, and Ben, who is God's right-hand man. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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This is another excellent chapter. This is a chapter about good and evil. The gloves come off between the devil's representative, Soapy, and Ben, who is God's right-hand man. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from BethShelby
Sorry I'm so late reading this story. I Miss a couple of day and have 80 messages in my Message box. IT is funny that Soapy was repelled by Ben and Beth and wanted nothing to do with them.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2023
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Sorry I'm so late reading this story. I Miss a couple of day and have 80 messages in my Message box. IT is funny that Soapy was repelled by Ben and Beth and wanted nothing to do with them.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2023
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Thank you for your review.
Soapy was repelled by the presence of the Holy Spirit surrounding Beth and Ben.
Comment from Ric Myworld
You have a special way of bringing things back to mind that I'm sure I've forgotten. Now my head is spinning. Gene Pitney singing "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence," and your mention of OK Corral, I could hear Frankie Laine's magnificent voice, singing "Gun Fight at OK Corral. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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You have a special way of bringing things back to mind that I'm sure I've forgotten. Now my head is spinning. Gene Pitney singing "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence," and your mention of OK Corral, I could hear Frankie Laine's magnificent voice, singing "Gun Fight at OK Corral. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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Thank you.
Liberty Valence was a great song (and movie).
Comment from lyenochka
A militia sounds like a great idea. Like the original "militia" mentioned in the Second Amendment which people like to volley around. But would such a militia be able to wash out Soapy?
I like how Ben evades Beth's real question because he has no control over his own days. Only God does.
Comment:
Soapy Smith was the penultimate bully. (ultimate?) "penultimate" means next to the last.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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A militia sounds like a great idea. Like the original "militia" mentioned in the Second Amendment which people like to volley around. But would such a militia be able to wash out Soapy?
I like how Ben evades Beth's real question because he has no control over his own days. Only God does.
Comment:
Soapy Smith was the penultimate bully. (ultimate?) "penultimate" means next to the last.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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Thank you. I recently learned about penultimate. I was flabbergasted. To me, it had the feel of super ultimate.
Thank you for your great review.
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💖 I know the meaning from linguistics because the second to the last syllable is the penultimate.
Comment from Navada
Now I'm learning a lot more about Soapy, who I learned about for the first time when reading your last chapter. I'm interested in the metaphor of the magnets and what will unfold if the militia comes to fruition.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2023
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Now I'm learning a lot more about Soapy, who I learned about for the first time when reading your last chapter. I'm interested in the metaphor of the magnets and what will unfold if the militia comes to fruition.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2023
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Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from tfawcus
A great continuation of the story, Wayne. Soapy Smith seems to be an arch nemesis who Ben will have to defeat at some time. Where and when remains to be seen.
A couple of suggestions...
Ben nodded (with) an understanding smile.
Soapy Smith was the penultimate? bully. (Penultimate means second to last - is that what you intended?)
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2023
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A great continuation of the story, Wayne. Soapy Smith seems to be an arch nemesis who Ben will have to defeat at some time. Where and when remains to be seen.
A couple of suggestions...
Ben nodded (with) an understanding smile.
Soapy Smith was the penultimate? bully. (Penultimate means second to last - is that what you intended?)
Comment Written 10-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2023
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(embarrassed face here)
No, I did not mean second to last. I confess my ignorance and gratitude. No one else pointed it out.
Thank you for your great review.
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Easily done. Maybe stereotypical or ultimate or quintessential.
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Easily done. Maybe stereotypical or ultimate or quintessential.
Comment from Wendy G
A very interesting, and honest, response by Ben to Beth: (Ben knew the difference between what Beth asked, and what he offered.) Makes me wonder what is coming next. He can't promise what she asked, because neither knows at this point what God's plans for them are. Well written. We all need to be wary of making Promises we may not be able to keep.
Wendy
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2023
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A very interesting, and honest, response by Ben to Beth: (Ben knew the difference between what Beth asked, and what he offered.) Makes me wonder what is coming next. He can't promise what she asked, because neither knows at this point what God's plans for them are. Well written. We all need to be wary of making Promises we may not be able to keep.
Wendy
Comment Written 10-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2023
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Thank you.
Your astuteness is showing. (smiley face here)
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
We have all met bullies in our life, And the fact is, bullies will continue to be bullies until they are stopped. Ben and Beth have their work cut out.
Good work, Ben and Beth once again survived calamity-free. Pray for Jesse, and have a good weekend. Karen
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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We have all met bullies in our life, And the fact is, bullies will continue to be bullies until they are stopped. Ben and Beth have their work cut out.
Good work, Ben and Beth once again survived calamity-free. Pray for Jesse, and have a good weekend. Karen
Comment Written 09-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Thank you for your very nice review.
And yes, praying for Jesse.
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You are welcome:-)
Comment from JSD
Ooh, lastly old Soapy Smith. And a real person, you said before I think. An exciting development for Ben and Beth to deal with. Another great episode. Thanks. x
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Ooh, lastly old Soapy Smith. And a real person, you said before I think. An exciting development for Ben and Beth to deal with. Another great episode. Thanks. x
Comment Written 09-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Thank you. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Kit Minden
So many things are unexplained. Expand and stop leaving nouns out. For example: ". As for street preaching, there was hardly a time when more than a few occupied the same vicinity, everyone generally about their business of survival."
Possible Edits: ". As for street preaching, there was hardly a time when more than a few people occupied the same place, whether it was the street in front of the few local shops or the one small mom-and-pop restaurant, "Hot Grub in the one-block-long town center. Everyone generally spends their time going about the business of survival. A man loaded shovels and other tools in his truck, a middle-aged woman filled her 4-wheel drive with groceries, and a young couple loaded four young children into the back seat of a van, seatbelts on threes and a car seat for the littlest one. They didn't seem to notice us at all as they focused on the tasks at hand. "
Grammar check for punctuation.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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So many things are unexplained. Expand and stop leaving nouns out. For example: ". As for street preaching, there was hardly a time when more than a few occupied the same vicinity, everyone generally about their business of survival."
Possible Edits: ". As for street preaching, there was hardly a time when more than a few people occupied the same place, whether it was the street in front of the few local shops or the one small mom-and-pop restaurant, "Hot Grub in the one-block-long town center. Everyone generally spends their time going about the business of survival. A man loaded shovels and other tools in his truck, a middle-aged woman filled her 4-wheel drive with groceries, and a young couple loaded four young children into the back seat of a van, seatbelts on threes and a car seat for the littlest one. They didn't seem to notice us at all as they focused on the tasks at hand. "
Grammar check for punctuation.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Thank you. While I appreciate your very kind review, and acknowledge that your rewrite is better than my post (with the color and detail), I have to lean toward style a bit. This is chapter 78. My inclination is toward brevity. Many words are either implied, or clearly understood, and are therefore superfluous. Now I know, that may very well be the reason that I am not published. Agents and publishers see my stuff as too much work to make marketable. But still...
I will, though incorporate the idea of making Skagway a real place and look at the punctuation. Thank you.
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I don't want to offend but in reviewing one does risk it - the character felt undeveloped, and stereotyped almost. Can you pass me the first few chapters?
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Happy to. But I don't know how to do that. (pass early chapters)
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will look