He Found Out Me
I wrote this a while back3 total reviews
Comment from kiwigirl2821
It's a good freestyle write. An older than our lives story, but important all the same. Do we have more faith as we age or are we born with certain knowledge that directs us until we age? I've no idea which comes first, but it's a wonderful post to ponder. Good luck.
Kiwi
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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It's a good freestyle write. An older than our lives story, but important all the same. Do we have more faith as we age or are we born with certain knowledge that directs us until we age? I've no idea which comes first, but it's a wonderful post to ponder. Good luck.
Kiwi
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2023
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Many thanks, Kiwi You have given me food for thought
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I'm no expert on free verse but this reads very smoothly to me, providing an excellent read about the story of Jesus. I note your rhyme and am wondering whether that will be allowed as it does form a pattern every other line. Personally, I like it because it gives cohesion to the verse. There is one suggestion I would make that, perhaps, you could add some punctuation for greater clarity e.g. and yet you found out me(,) Lord(,). But, that said, this is an excellent entry that could so easily be put to music. Thank you for the read. Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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I'm no expert on free verse but this reads very smoothly to me, providing an excellent read about the story of Jesus. I note your rhyme and am wondering whether that will be allowed as it does form a pattern every other line. Personally, I like it because it gives cohesion to the verse. There is one suggestion I would make that, perhaps, you could add some punctuation for greater clarity e.g. and yet you found out me(,) Lord(,). But, that said, this is an excellent entry that could so easily be put to music. Thank you for the read. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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I can understand where you are coming from, but I'm inclined to think that free verse is exactly what the heart has given If it does not get anywhere, well, perhaps it is a message for someone "out there" who needs reassurance. As to the tune I have forgotten what was inmy head at the time Thanks, Debbie
Comment from poetwatch
The weather changes like the hearts of men and women, author. Once walked a man from you know where and did things that ordinary men could not. He drank his wine from a wooden cup, His hands did make. No song did He ask for himself, but for the Father above. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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The weather changes like the hearts of men and women, author. Once walked a man from you know where and did things that ordinary men could not. He drank his wine from a wooden cup, His hands did make. No song did He ask for himself, but for the Father above. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you