Return To Concorde Valley
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "King Phoebus"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
18 total reviews
Comment from jlsavell
Rhonda,
Though this is your latest chapter and, obviously, I haven't even delved into the others, it has made me want to start at the very beginning.
This is a wonderfully written chapter which held my attention all the way through authors notes. Impressive to say the least.
It takes enormous talent to write a novel that grabs the reader immediately.
I plan on going back to the beginning. My curiosity is peaked.
Jimi
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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Rhonda,
Though this is your latest chapter and, obviously, I haven't even delved into the others, it has made me want to start at the very beginning.
This is a wonderfully written chapter which held my attention all the way through authors notes. Impressive to say the least.
It takes enormous talent to write a novel that grabs the reader immediately.
I plan on going back to the beginning. My curiosity is peaked.
Jimi
Comment Written 23-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2023
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Jimi, thanks so much!! I was surprised to find a review! I?m so far behind on posting, lol. I?m deeply honored!
Rhonda
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Rhonda, I strive to reciprocate reviews if my time is possible at the moment. Eventually, I get to it.
You are so welcome and look forwards to beginning the first of your book.
I?d be happy to send you suggestions to keep your beautiful grey hair brilliant. Wear it lady, it is beautiful.
When I was younger I kept my fair dyed a deep very dark copper red. It was pretty, but years and years of abusing my hair with drugstore color literally damaged it.
It began to break and look very unhealthy. Today is a totally different story.
P M me and send me you email and I will send you before and after picks and suggestions for your fair.
Have a beautiful holiday.
Jimi
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Thank you so much, Jimi!!
Comment from w.j.debi
What a wonderful introduction to Kine Phoebus. He seems the wise, gentle, ancient soul that I was hoping he would be. He has the patience developed over time and he has had such an interesting life.
Your descriptions and dialogue make the characters real.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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What a wonderful introduction to Kine Phoebus. He seems the wise, gentle, ancient soul that I was hoping he would be. He has the patience developed over time and he has had such an interesting life.
Your descriptions and dialogue make the characters real.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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Debi, thank you for the beautiful rating, dear lady! I?m glad you like Phoebus. He?s a gentle soul when he needs to be, warrior when he needs that, too, but, like you said, an old soul.
Take care,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda.
I love the way you used the senses to begin this chapter using smell, hearing and touch, followed sight. It is a wonderful way to slowly draw the reader into the scene. One gets the feeling there may be some 'extra' senses in this new world of Concorde too.
Perfect use of dialogue to develop the details of not only what happened, but what is presently happening. The fantasy aspect is also becoming clear with Phoebus as the son of Poseidon. Nothing like having the god of the Sea for a relation.
The lost of family due to fire seems likely to be important as the story develops.
Well done on all counts.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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Hello Rhonda.
I love the way you used the senses to begin this chapter using smell, hearing and touch, followed sight. It is a wonderful way to slowly draw the reader into the scene. One gets the feeling there may be some 'extra' senses in this new world of Concorde too.
Perfect use of dialogue to develop the details of not only what happened, but what is presently happening. The fantasy aspect is also becoming clear with Phoebus as the son of Poseidon. Nothing like having the god of the Sea for a relation.
The lost of family due to fire seems likely to be important as the story develops.
Well done on all counts.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 06-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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Hi Robert,
Thank you for the six stars and the lovely review.
I?m glad the slow lead in worked. That was exactly where I was going with it. I?m glad the transition from a normal world to fantasy is working, too.
The fire aspect is actually a hidden nugget you discovered. You?re always a step ahead of me. You get what many miss.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from Pam (respa)
Lovely artwork and great chapter to go with it, Rhonda. I read right through it because the writing was so smooth. You took me there as I listened to Echo's questions and Phoebus answering most of them. He was very patient and kind.
There was a combination of little things and big things. One good example is Echo wants to know what to do when she is lonely. Phoebus says "talk to your cat." But Echo said she couldn't speak that. But after petting Sunny, Echo swore she said, "I love you."
It sounds like a good world to be in, but it has it's ups and downs, too, because they had their share of suffering and joy. They also have to be on alert for intruders who intend harm. There is a lot that has to be done to get an outsider there, as we learned from Echo's experience.
I think Phoebus is a great character, caring and kind, and I look forward to learning more about their world. Very well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Lovely artwork and great chapter to go with it, Rhonda. I read right through it because the writing was so smooth. You took me there as I listened to Echo's questions and Phoebus answering most of them. He was very patient and kind.
There was a combination of little things and big things. One good example is Echo wants to know what to do when she is lonely. Phoebus says "talk to your cat." But Echo said she couldn't speak that. But after petting Sunny, Echo swore she said, "I love you."
It sounds like a good world to be in, but it has it's ups and downs, too, because they had their share of suffering and joy. They also have to be on alert for intruders who intend harm. There is a lot that has to be done to get an outsider there, as we learned from Echo's experience.
I think Phoebus is a great character, caring and kind, and I look forward to learning more about their world. Very well done, my friend.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Hi Pam. Thank you for the stars and the words, both of which warm the heart.
Thank you for saying the writing was smooth. I?ve been working on that aspect much more than I used to. It takes longer to post that way, but I keep rewriting until I get it where I want it. Many of you taught me that!
You?re right on the ups and downs in Concorde Valley. There?s a lot of beauty, but it has to be fought for to protect.
Phoebus is much more open than Theo, but Theo has spent a lot of time in a world he had to hide his roots from.
Thanks again for your help and support,
Rhonda
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. I appreciate you sharing in your reply.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
My first foray into this world, but I had no trouble following your narrative. It is big and grand as all fantasy writing should be. I will go back and read more when I am not sleeping so much. Good work. Karen
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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My first foray into this world, but I had no trouble following your narrative. It is big and grand as all fantasy writing should be. I will go back and read more when I am not sleeping so much. Good work. Karen
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Hi Karen, it?s good to meet you, and I?m so glad you stopped by to read. I do hope you?ll read again as I appreciate your opinion!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
How interesting for Echo, no one is allowed into the valley unless they have to fight there way there, so that's how Theo, got her into the valley, but like a true investigative reporter she gets some answers to her enquiries, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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How interesting for Echo, no one is allowed into the valley unless they have to fight there way there, so that's how Theo, got her into the valley, but like a true investigative reporter she gets some answers to her enquiries, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you for the lovely review, Roy. The way to the valley requires desire to get there, and the journey there gives strength.
She does ask a lot of questions, but when experience replaces inquiry, she will find she doesn?t always have to interrogate.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
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Great series
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Thank you, dear friend!
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Most welcome
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda....whatever they gave Echo was some powerful shit, man! Do you know how much drug dealers would charge and the profits involved?
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda....whatever they gave Echo was some powerful shit, man! Do you know how much drug dealers would charge and the profits involved?
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Hahaha, for sure.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really like this story. I can't help but smile at Echo's questions. Phoebus is so good with her. I think he likes her a lot or at least can understand why Theo likes her.
The next sensation to arrive was hearing. (The following sensation)
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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I really like this story. I can't help but smile at Echo's questions. Phoebus is so good with her. I think he likes her a lot or at least can understand why Theo likes her.
The next sensation to arrive was hearing. (The following sensation)
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Hi Barbara! Thank you for the lovely six stars, and for your comments! All are appreciated.
Phoebus is being tolerant of Echo, and in large part because of Theo. He?s talked about her so much, everyone loves her, lol.
Thanks again, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from Sally Law
Rhonda dear, another lovely chapter and new character, Phoebus. We catch a better understanding of Theo's lineage in this chapter as the dots are connected. Echo is clearly missing Theo and attached to him. Can't say I blame her.
A few minor improvements for your consideration.
Did you really used to [being] a Centaur?" Perhaps, be a Centaur?"
She heard a soft chuckle. "I'd hate to be interviewed by you when you're not not sick." Remove the repeated not.
Both are easily fixable.
Marvelous offering from your creative mind, and so beautifully crafted and presented.
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for the holiday season.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Rhonda dear, another lovely chapter and new character, Phoebus. We catch a better understanding of Theo's lineage in this chapter as the dots are connected. Echo is clearly missing Theo and attached to him. Can't say I blame her.
A few minor improvements for your consideration.
Did you really used to [being] a Centaur?" Perhaps, be a Centaur?"
She heard a soft chuckle. "I'd hate to be interviewed by you when you're not not sick." Remove the repeated not.
Both are easily fixable.
Marvelous offering from your creative mind, and so beautifully crafted and presented.
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for the holiday season.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Hi Sally! Thank you for the six stars and the comments! I?m so glad you caught the mistakes. It?s funny how you can read something over and over and miss them. And, that?s why we?re here for each other!
Echo does miss her buddy, but doesn?t miss an opportunity to interrogate.
Many hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was lovely, Rhonda, and I smiled at Echo asking loads of questions of Theo's father. That was sad about his wife and child. But she had also gone through something similar. This new world sounds adorable, no polution, that's whats needed in our world right now! I'm looking forward to reading more. And to see if she will really be able to speak and understand Sonny. I'm loving this story! :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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That was lovely, Rhonda, and I smiled at Echo asking loads of questions of Theo's father. That was sad about his wife and child. But she had also gone through something similar. This new world sounds adorable, no polution, that's whats needed in our world right now! I'm looking forward to reading more. And to see if she will really be able to speak and understand Sonny. I'm loving this story! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Hi Sandra! Thank you for reviewing this chapter, as well as all others before it. Echo?s about spun out on her questions as the new world will speak for itself, lol.
I agree on the pollution. We could definitely use less of it, it I can?t promise they will be worry free. You know how it goes! No bad guy, no story.
The Concordians are definitely into talking to animals. If Echo doesn?t learn something, it won?t be their fault.
Thanks again, my friend,
Rhonda