Sories Poetically Speaking
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Don't Mess With My Holiday"A complete story in written as a poem.
38 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
Beth, this is a really good poem about the birth of the twins. You used great descriptive and rhyming words. I know you were glad not to have to be in the hospital on Christmas. We had twin boys when I was 32. Twins are very special! Best wishes in the contest! love, blessings and Merry Christmas! Teri
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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Beth, this is a really good poem about the birth of the twins. You used great descriptive and rhyming words. I know you were glad not to have to be in the hospital on Christmas. We had twin boys when I was 32. Twins are very special! Best wishes in the contest! love, blessings and Merry Christmas! Teri
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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Thank you Teri. Today is their birthday. Maybe I should read the poem to the them that I wrote.
Beth
Comment from Sarah Tummey
Congratulations on your 2nd place. I saw it mentioned on the homepage and loved your title, so I came to read the poem. I really liked how you chose to rhyme the first three lines of each stanza, and then have all the last lines rhyming with one another. Really well done, and it was great to hear your twins both thrived as well.
The only thing that would make it even more exceptional is if you could manage to include their names in the poem, as I'm always curious to know what babies are called.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Congratulations on your 2nd place. I saw it mentioned on the homepage and loved your title, so I came to read the poem. I really liked how you chose to rhyme the first three lines of each stanza, and then have all the last lines rhyming with one another. Really well done, and it was great to hear your twins both thrived as well.
The only thing that would make it even more exceptional is if you could manage to include their names in the poem, as I'm always curious to know what babies are called.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Thank you for the review and six stars. I'm glad you liked it. I didn't think about including names. For your information they were Donald Ray and Christi Faye. I'd already had a Carol Kay and later would have a Connie Lynnae so I rhymed the second names of all of them.
Poets have to do what they have to do. LOL
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Brilliant. Christi is one of my favourite names.
Comment from Spitfire
I'm late in reviewing this. It's certainly worthy of winning first place. I love the rhyme scheme and the story line. Favorite lines: My midsection was gigantic.
Making love-life less romantic.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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I'm late in reviewing this. It's certainly worthy of winning first place. I love the rhyme scheme and the story line. Favorite lines: My midsection was gigantic.
Making love-life less romantic.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Thank you for the review on this one and especially thanks for another of you six stars. I had fun writing it. Every word of it was true. Beth
Comment from Ginda Simpson
I missed seeing this earlier, but don't want to miss congratulating you on your well-deserved win. My twin grandchildren (boy/girl twins) waited until mid-January to arrive, but I remember watching my daughter pace with eagerness. You did such a great job telling the story in poetry form.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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I missed seeing this earlier, but don't want to miss congratulating you on your well-deserved win. My twin grandchildren (boy/girl twins) waited until mid-January to arrive, but I remember watching my daughter pace with eagerness. You did such a great job telling the story in poetry form.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much Ginda. It was fun poem to write and I pleased it won second in the contest.
Beth
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Beth
This flows almost like a song. It is good for this woman that she had the twins early for both her and her doctor wanted to be home for Christmas, like we all do. This is a truly Merry Christmas.
What poetry form is this?
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Happy Holidays.
Joan
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Hi Beth
This flows almost like a song. It is good for this woman that she had the twins early for both her and her doctor wanted to be home for Christmas, like we all do. This is a truly Merry Christmas.
What poetry form is this?
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Happy Holidays.
Joan
Comment Written 14-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Thank you Joan. The poem is true about the birth of my twins.
I don't know what it is called. It may not have a name. My format is 8887 and AAAb CCCB DDDB EEEB FFFB etc. for eleven stanzas that end with B. I modeled it at the first two line of Poe's raven, but his lines were 16 beats with an intenal rhyme and I broke mine at eight. His stanza were six lines long and mine were four. He called his poem a ballad, but mine is likely something else. Maybe I should name it.
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Thank you Joan. The poem is true about the birth of my twins.
I don't know what it is called. It may not have a name. My format is 8887 and AAAb CCCB DDDB EEEB FFFB etc. for eleven stanzas that end with B. I modeled it at the first two line of Poe's raven, but his lines were 16 beats with an intenal rhyme and I broke mine at eight. His stanza were six lines long and mine were four. He called his poem a ballad, but mine is likely something else. Maybe I should name it.
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No problem, Maybe you should. I think that is the rhyme scheme all the letters should be lower case. Capital letters mean the whole line repeats not just the rhyme. At least that what I have been told. Maybe you should name it.
Joan
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This duplicated for some reason in my replies box
Joan
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I've been told my router send out the extras. People like when they get more than one review. I can't seem to fix it.
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That's fine.
Joan
Comment from Lisasview
Congratulations Beth on the win... Just finished reading your very fun poem and I did like it... Twins..gosh I always wanted to have twins..But
I ended up with one beautiful girl.. well, I guess she was like having twins as I never stopped running around..ha ha
All my best,
Lisa
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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Congratulations Beth on the win... Just finished reading your very fun poem and I did like it... Twins..gosh I always wanted to have twins..But
I ended up with one beautiful girl.. well, I guess she was like having twins as I never stopped running around..ha ha
All my best,
Lisa
Comment Written 14-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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Thank you Lisa. I'm glad you liked my poem. Twins are nice but I already had one still in diapers when they were born. I was not easy around our house for while.
Beth
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I bet ....
and, you are most welcome,
Lisa
Comment from w.j.debi
I love, "The Raven" so you had my attention as soon as I recognized the meter and the similar wording. Whew! I'm glad it all worked out for the protagonist in your verse and the little family was all whisked home for the holidays. This was a joy to read.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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I love, "The Raven" so you had my attention as soon as I recognized the meter and the similar wording. Whew! I'm glad it all worked out for the protagonist in your verse and the little family was all whisked home for the holidays. This was a joy to read.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I've always like The Raven too. I glad you enjoyed my poem.
Beth
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Wow excellent job on this! It brought back the birth of my two sons. The pain and the end result always are worth it! Congrats on your all time. Best status looks great on you!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Wow excellent job on this! It brought back the birth of my two sons. The pain and the end result always are worth it! Congrats on your all time. Best status looks great on you!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you Lea. I really appreciate the review and comments. I've been lucky lately that I've had 26 people or more review it so it would get the in the Best Status.
Beth
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Yes I bet it would it's very good congratulations!
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Don't Mess with My Holiday, presented with eleven aaaB-rhymed quatrains, certainly brought the nature of childbirth straight to the Christmas hearth. Edgar Allen Poe approves, I'm sure.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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This poem, Don't Mess with My Holiday, presented with eleven aaaB-rhymed quatrains, certainly brought the nature of childbirth straight to the Christmas hearth. Edgar Allen Poe approves, I'm sure.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you Bill. Good to know Edgar isn't planning to sue. Thank for the review.
Beth
Comment from tfawcus
This is an absolutely splendid parody, Beth. Loved the way you brought in 'nevermore' at the end! Most entertaining and enhanced throughout by your creative rhyming. Well worth a sixth star!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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This is an absolutely splendid parody, Beth. Loved the way you brought in 'nevermore' at the end! Most entertaining and enhanced throughout by your creative rhyming. Well worth a sixth star!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you,Tony. I'm so pleased you liked it because you are such a gifted poet. It is a lovely compliment that you consider it worthy of six stars.
Beth
