Sandra's Lover
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "The boy and his father"A macabre crime thriller. Grotesque and detailed.
4 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an interesting story about a child with no life of his own. He has no real choices although he is well educated and organized. His parents are about a loving as robots. Now he learns he has to work in a funeral home. This is the first part of the story that I have read. Although he has a lot, the boy has so little human interaction and a funeral home won't be much better. You really need to leave a blank line between paragraphs. This would be a lot easier to read. Using a larger font would also help. Working with the editor thing at the time of submission is a challenge, I'll admit.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2023
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This is an interesting story about a child with no life of his own. He has no real choices although he is well educated and organized. His parents are about a loving as robots. Now he learns he has to work in a funeral home. This is the first part of the story that I have read. Although he has a lot, the boy has so little human interaction and a funeral home won't be much better. You really need to leave a blank line between paragraphs. This would be a lot easier to read. Using a larger font would also help. Working with the editor thing at the time of submission is a challenge, I'll admit.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2023
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This is great feedback thank you!
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. I thought they were going to send him away to school. Work and a funeral home job were quite the surprise. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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This is another excellent chapter. I thought they were going to send him away to school. Work and a funeral home job were quite the surprise. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Merci Beaucoup. I Will post another chapter tonight!
Comment from patcelaw
This is an incredible story that you have made up. I enjoyed listening to it, and it kept me engaged through the entire story. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. Patricia.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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This is an incredible story that you have made up. I enjoyed listening to it, and it kept me engaged through the entire story. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. Patricia.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Thank you! Geez this is so good for my ego. Its the first story I have ever written.
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Oh my lord that's got creep factor times ten! Going to keep the layout tonight wow! You got the super creep going on there holy smoke batman a quite like it. You get my last 6! It sounds really good you gotta good handle on your grammar. Your sentence structure and your subject matters is really creepy. Hope you have a good night!
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Oh my lord that's got creep factor times ten! Going to keep the layout tonight wow! You got the super creep going on there holy smoke batman a quite like it. You get my last 6! It sounds really good you gotta good handle on your grammar. Your sentence structure and your subject matters is really creepy. Hope you have a good night!
Comment Written 29-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much! Chapter 4 coming soon!