She's My Honey Bee
Creating our own family tree4 total reviews
Comment from JSD
Goodness! That's a bit saucy! The Italian passionate nature, I suppose? Most enjoyable. Great use of assured rhythm and rhyme. Just not sure about 'pleads'. It's a verb really. The noun would be 'pleas'.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2023
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Goodness! That's a bit saucy! The Italian passionate nature, I suppose? Most enjoyable. Great use of assured rhythm and rhyme. Just not sure about 'pleads'. It's a verb really. The noun would be 'pleas'.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2023
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Ciao,
bentornato!
Glad you enjoyed the read!
Thanks, I will edit ..
I have my own private English Teacher, what more can I ask for. (biggrin)
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Lol!
Hope you're ok. x
Comment from judiverse
Wow! I thought Lancellot had written this! Your rhyme is really great and the couplet form works wonderfully with your subject. Excellent use of internal rhyme, too, with cheeks and creak. Excellent choice of verbs for that graphic effect. No picture? Best of luck in the contest. This should awe the judges. judi
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Wow! I thought Lancellot had written this! Your rhyme is really great and the couplet form works wonderfully with your subject. Excellent use of internal rhyme, too, with cheeks and creak. Excellent choice of verbs for that graphic effect. No picture? Best of luck in the contest. This should awe the judges. judi
Comment Written 29-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Ciao Judi!
I m always happy if you gift me with a six star review cause that means I m improving. Yeah!
Seeing there are two vibes , didn?t know how to combine the two in one pic.
The black and yellow recalls the bee.🐝
Thank you!🍀
Comment from Kaiku
This is very sensual and yet has a bit of humor in it. I like the black and yellow. I can just imagine what other types of graphics might have been used to put a little 'extra sting' into the poem. As always, good work.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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This is very sensual and yet has a bit of humor in it. I like the black and yellow. I can just imagine what other types of graphics might have been used to put a little 'extra sting' into the poem. As always, good work.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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Originally the poem ended on a sensual vibe , without the last stanza
I added the last verse to give the poem a surprise ending / a chaste vibe.
Not sure why though.
As for the artwork I didn?t know what to put maybe a queen bee ?
In the end I was tired and just used the colours of a bee. Should I put a queen bee?
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I think the black and yellow works.
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🙂 🐝 🙃
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is hilariously inventive, fun to read and rather raunchy and I loved it! Great rhymes and well chosen words from a skilful pen, loved the humour too, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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This is hilariously inventive, fun to read and rather raunchy and I loved it! Great rhymes and well chosen words from a skilful pen, loved the humour too, love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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At the last minute I decided to add the last stanza which ended the poem on a more homey /family vibe ..
Thanks for the praising words!
Keep safe! 🍀
