Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "The Shoe"This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
19 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
I lost track of you after you moved, thinking you hadn't been back on FanStory. Now I don't know what chapters I've read and what I haven't. But I guess it's time to find out. Thanks for sharing. I don't usually offer suggestions, figuring you'll find them anyway. But here are a couple.
These glimpses of what was [we're] connected to something I learned just yesterday.
It was around the time my [my] natural father and mother split up.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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I lost track of you after you moved, thinking you hadn't been back on FanStory. Now I don't know what chapters I've read and what I haven't. But I guess it's time to find out. Thanks for sharing. I don't usually offer suggestions, figuring you'll find them anyway. But here are a couple.
These glimpses of what was [we're] connected to something I learned just yesterday.
It was around the time my [my] natural father and mother split up.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2024
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Yeah, it was around occasionally. I checked in, but I didn't have time to put anything out at that point. Now we're back at it! You'll find book two Spectre in my portfolio if you wish to read the first dozen, you are most welcome to. Thank you again for your review.It's so great to see you here! Thank you for the suggestions and you have it, as always.A very good eye. Thank you again, my friends.It gave me a smile seeing you here!
Comment from Gayla putnam
I am settling into the flow of your chapters. Now I look forward to reading them. Your imagery is so vivid. I love "like a slow-moving pickpocket or nervous as a jack in the box. gayla
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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I am settling into the flow of your chapters. Now I look forward to reading them. Your imagery is so vivid. I love "like a slow-moving pickpocket or nervous as a jack in the box. gayla
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Wow, Gayla! That's a fine compliment. Thank you very much! It's so very glad you like! I appreciate your time and your thoughts and that you've shared them with me. Wishing you the best evening!
Comment from Tim Margetts
And another of your book's chapters crosses my screen.
I am enjoying (is that the wrong word when this whole thing was so traumatic) this journey through your past. You describe it all so vividly, it captures me and leaves wanting to know more
I did spot one little blip you may want to address
Scents of jasmine rise, bread(non)
**Rice ... and nan
Thank you once more for sharing.
Tim x
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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And another of your book's chapters crosses my screen.
I am enjoying (is that the wrong word when this whole thing was so traumatic) this journey through your past. You describe it all so vividly, it captures me and leaves wanting to know more
I did spot one little blip you may want to address
Scents of jasmine rise, bread(non)
**Rice ... and nan
Thank you once more for sharing.
Tim x
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Wow! Always so insightful! I think you understand me well! Happy to have you on this journey! Thank you for your review, your kind notes and your suggestions for correction, which I have done. Your time, most of all and your great rating, thanks so much!
Comment from Barry Penfold
I love how honest you are in your writing. I do not believe I have read anything like it. You obviously have a very active mind and face challenges in your everyday life. I am glad you're writing helps keep you grounded and centered. Writing has many benefits for us all. Keep writing and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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I love how honest you are in your writing. I do not believe I have read anything like it. You obviously have a very active mind and face challenges in your everyday life. I am glad you're writing helps keep you grounded and centered. Writing has many benefits for us all. Keep writing and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024
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Thank you very, very kind of you. Thank you for your awesome review and your great rating. Most of all your time in doing so! Awesome possum! I hope you have an amazing day!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Thank you for sharing. Just a few glitches:
I knew that look I hoped I didnt see. - (didn't)
...dismissed him with a waive. - (wave)
I was sure I feeling Mr. D's intense gaze. - I was sure I (was) feeling
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024
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Thank you for sharing. Just a few glitches:
I knew that look I hoped I didnt see. - (didn't)
...dismissed him with a waive. - (wave)
I was sure I feeling Mr. D's intense gaze. - I was sure I (was) feeling
Best wishes.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024
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Hi, wait. Thank you again awesome getting this cause.It's not my strong suit, as I mentioned! These corrections and suggestions for change are always important to me. Because how do we learn otherwise? I might need a mallet or two once in a while, but lol. Thank you for stopping in again. I'm happy to see you here. Appreciate all your comments and your fine rating too. Make sure you have an awesome evening!
Comment from Lana Marie
There's so many stories of families that have gone through similar things when the kids end up being the ones hurt from family dysfunction. I don't know if this is a true story or not, if it is thank you for sharing. It's always vulnerable to put things out there. It's nice for people to get to know others beyond the surface.
I met my dad when I was 12 so I can relate to some of your story.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024
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There's so many stories of families that have gone through similar things when the kids end up being the ones hurt from family dysfunction. I don't know if this is a true story or not, if it is thank you for sharing. It's always vulnerable to put things out there. It's nice for people to get to know others beyond the surface.
I met my dad when I was 12 so I can relate to some of your story.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024
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It is autobiographical in nature. This is book two of the spirit series.The first one is called "Ghost". It's on the shelf right now. My second book is almost done.It's called "Spectre" yeah for christmas from new year. The third book partially written. It's called "Apparition" extreme abuse starvation, let's cover up coercion, falsifying records. It's just a matter destruction of girls.I was the one came out. Involve social services here in Canada. With my family's high up, and therefore haitians cover up all the abuse.All the terrible things they did. I got tired of being called a liar. A thief, a bunch of other names.My family dreamed up. So I let it blow out my proverbial pen. Thank you for your thoughtful review.And you certainly have good insight! Thank you also for your time.And great rating, I hope that you and will be doing well!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
You did a really excellent job with this one. Your punctuation and grammar were very good, and the story, of course --that part's a given-- was riveting. At least you have some good nourishment in you; that makes difficult circumstances easier to conquer. xo
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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You did a really excellent job with this one. Your punctuation and grammar were very good, and the story, of course --that part's a given-- was riveting. At least you have some good nourishment in you; that makes difficult circumstances easier to conquer. xo
Comment Written 03-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you again my fine friend!
Comment from LJbutterfly
Here we go again. You get a chance to have a nice meal and relax, but it sounds like it won't be for long. Somehow I missed when and how you met the Indian woman. But she sounds kind. I have no idea what could possibly happen next. I'll see you in the next chapter.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Here we go again. You get a chance to have a nice meal and relax, but it sounds like it won't be for long. Somehow I missed when and how you met the Indian woman. But she sounds kind. I have no idea what could possibly happen next. I'll see you in the next chapter.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Life is never smooth how long is it it's true. I went through many ups and Downs. Mostly because I didn't know what the heck I was doing in a lot of instances and some because there was no choice. I appreciate your review and happy to see you here! You have great insight and wonderful comments on. Thank you for reading and hanging in there with me!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
So a more open-minded Indian couple took you into their home and fed you dinner, but there was an argument at the end, presumably over how long you were going to be allowed to stay there. I, too, would probably look for a welcome escape in Classic Hollywood movies.
One suggestion:
I stood up with them Mrs. D who waived me back to my seat.
I stood up with them. Mrs. D waved me back to my seat.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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So a more open-minded Indian couple took you into their home and fed you dinner, but there was an argument at the end, presumably over how long you were going to be allowed to stay there. I, too, would probably look for a welcome escape in Classic Hollywood movies.
One suggestion:
I stood up with them Mrs. D who waived me back to my seat.
I stood up with them. Mrs. D waved me back to my seat.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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Thank you again awesome. I'm always happy to have your comments and your suggestions. I sound like a broken record. I know but I can only keep saying thank you have a great day!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
It sounds as if Mr. D doesn't want you around. I'm hoping you're wanting these published. If so, you're going to need to a lot of editing. The story is great and needs to be told.
"Joo hungry? She asked,"Sit." (TRY - "Joo hungry?" she asked, "Sit.")
I stood up with them Mrs. D who waived me back to my seat. (them.)
"Joo can stay down here." She said. (here," she)
I kept the volume low and sat down on the old couch. (you can omit 'down', it's understood)
Despite this I began to nodd off. (nod)
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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It sounds as if Mr. D doesn't want you around. I'm hoping you're wanting these published. If so, you're going to need to a lot of editing. The story is great and needs to be told.
"Joo hungry? She asked,"Sit." (TRY - "Joo hungry?" she asked, "Sit.")
I stood up with them Mrs. D who waived me back to my seat. (them.)
"Joo can stay down here." She said. (here," she)
I kept the volume low and sat down on the old couch. (you can omit 'down', it's understood)
Despite this I began to nodd off. (nod)
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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Hi Barbara thank you! It's going for editing Soon unsold my future writings I will learn as I go i'm sure thank you so much! I am very happy you review my work I appreciate it! Hope you have a lovely afternoon!