A New Friend
Sorry folks I know it's a bit early3 total reviews
Comment from créateur d'histoire
Excellent story. I generally am ambivalent about Christmas stories but I was moved by this story. It was sweet and wholesome. Good luck!
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2023
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Excellent story. I generally am ambivalent about Christmas stories but I was moved by this story. It was sweet and wholesome. Good luck!
Comment Written 24-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much
Comment from Douglas Goff
This is a great adorable story. Loved it. My neighbors put up Christmas lights the day after Halloween so I do not think you are too early.
Okay, so I'm gun-shy to critic anyone because the last guy beat me up for advising him to put a question mark after a question. So, this is merely a suggestion.
Paragraphs are too long. Break them up to give readers a mental break.
Grammatically you should not have two people's dialogue in the same paragraph so that gives you natural breaking points.
Just a suggestion. Nothing but love for you even though this is anonymous and I don't know who you are.
Also I only critic stories that I really like. If the stories are subpar I skip them.
Great work.
D
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2023
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This is a great adorable story. Loved it. My neighbors put up Christmas lights the day after Halloween so I do not think you are too early.
Okay, so I'm gun-shy to critic anyone because the last guy beat me up for advising him to put a question mark after a question. So, this is merely a suggestion.
Paragraphs are too long. Break them up to give readers a mental break.
Grammatically you should not have two people's dialogue in the same paragraph so that gives you natural breaking points.
Just a suggestion. Nothing but love for you even though this is anonymous and I don't know who you are.
Also I only critic stories that I really like. If the stories are subpar I skip them.
Great work.
D
Comment Written 23-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2023
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If you knew how much work went into condensing this... but you don't Editing is not always easy but I appreciate the time you took to evaluate Plus it was the only story that met the requirements
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I stand by my initial comment. Great work!
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Sorry, I did not mean to be so cranky. Thanks again for your encouragement It is appreciated.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Well it's not actually that early. This is a lovely little Christmas story, aptly fitting the brief as seen through the eyes of a child. Your dialogue is well done and builds the story up to this climax in which we see the tree has been damaged. You cleverly then pick up the excitement with the introduction of Chris the dog as compensation for the upset over the damaged tree. Excellent! No errors noted. And good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2023
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Well it's not actually that early. This is a lovely little Christmas story, aptly fitting the brief as seen through the eyes of a child. Your dialogue is well done and builds the story up to this climax in which we see the tree has been damaged. You cleverly then pick up the excitement with the introduction of Chris the dog as compensation for the upset over the damaged tree. Excellent! No errors noted. And good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 23-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2023
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Yes, I know it's early for a Christmas story and you are celebrating Thanksgiving but it was the only one that met the assignment.
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That's the great thing for you with Thanksgiving, it spreads everything out instead of, what we have here in the UK, this massively extended build-up to Christmas, getting everyone desperately broke in the process!
