Something In The Air, That Night
Amarga Navidad26 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
I kept thinking about this
piece as I read through your other works.
The dialogues and descriptions were great and it really felt like you captured a moment that pulled your readers into the scene.
I try to give give my Late Night Saturday Six Star (much coveted as there will be sixes flying about everywhere tomorrow) to a piece that doesn't have a six.
The story about your sister Rose deserved one as well but it already had that acknowledgement, so I righted the injustice here. The world is right again. Ha!
Plus this is review number 26. Maybe it will get All Time Best status.
I enjoyed spending the evening digging around in the cobwebs of your brain my friend.
Have a blessed evening. Merry Christmas!
Douglas
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I kept thinking about this
piece as I read through your other works.
The dialogues and descriptions were great and it really felt like you captured a moment that pulled your readers into the scene.
I try to give give my Late Night Saturday Six Star (much coveted as there will be sixes flying about everywhere tomorrow) to a piece that doesn't have a six.
The story about your sister Rose deserved one as well but it already had that acknowledgement, so I righted the injustice here. The world is right again. Ha!
Plus this is review number 26. Maybe it will get All Time Best status.
I enjoyed spending the evening digging around in the cobwebs of your brain my friend.
Have a blessed evening. Merry Christmas!
Douglas
Comment Written 23-Dec-2023
Comment from Barry Penfold
A compelling story and love how you left us with an Abba video of Fernando. Thanks for making it all come together and It is totally appropriate for a Christmas Story. Well done and I hope you go well in the contest.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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A compelling story and love how you left us with an Abba video of Fernando. Thanks for making it all come together and It is totally appropriate for a Christmas Story. Well done and I hope you go well in the contest.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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I very much appreciate your kind words!
Comment from nomi338
The memory of battles fought long ago where some survived, even with scars and some did not survive at all. Those painful memories return bringing with them the pain, and the fear of dying that kept you going. Those memories can hurt just as much as the actual experience first hand.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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The memory of battles fought long ago where some survived, even with scars and some did not survive at all. Those painful memories return bringing with them the pain, and the fear of dying that kept you going. Those memories can hurt just as much as the actual experience first hand.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you for reading and your kind words!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written, though I'm afraid I didn't quite get it.
They lost the revolution, or the revolutionaries beat them?
Was it coincidental that their memories related to Christmas time?
Good luck in the contest. Being different, maybe it stands a good chance of success.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Well written, though I'm afraid I didn't quite get it.
They lost the revolution, or the revolutionaries beat them?
Was it coincidental that their memories related to Christmas time?
Good luck in the contest. Being different, maybe it stands a good chance of success.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you! Yes, they were on the losing side. In my story, their friend was killed sat Christmas time in 1912 and many years later, Fernando and his friend met and reminisced.
Comment from Wendy G
Christmas for them signifies the recalling of their friend's death at that significant time, and remembering him as well as their history of life together at that time of life. Very nicely based on the Abba song, and a nice concluding line to remind that not everyone has happy memories of Christmas. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Christmas for them signifies the recalling of their friend's death at that significant time, and remembering him as well as their history of life together at that time of life. Very nicely based on the Abba song, and a nice concluding line to remind that not everyone has happy memories of Christmas. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Many thanks for reding and your kind words!
Comment from leather
If I have it right, this is about two old soldiers reminiscing about their youthful exploits in wartime. A comma is needed in the last sentence of the second paragraph. Also, the words "the sounds of guns and canon caused lesser men than we to weep" make it sound like there were guns (plural) and a canon (singular). Would it sound better to make both weapons plural- unless the battle equipment only included one canon?
Thanks for writing. You included a good amount of information about Christmas in Mexico.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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If I have it right, this is about two old soldiers reminiscing about their youthful exploits in wartime. A comma is needed in the last sentence of the second paragraph. Also, the words "the sounds of guns and canon caused lesser men than we to weep" make it sound like there were guns (plural) and a canon (singular). Would it sound better to make both weapons plural- unless the battle equipment only included one canon?
Thanks for writing. You included a good amount of information about Christmas in Mexico.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much! I will try to re-edit with your suggestions!
Comment from Terry Broxson
Jim, I may have missed the point. If I did...it won't be the first time, LOL. I think this story is an interpretation of a great song. Since no one knows exactly what war the songwriters had a mind, yours is as good as any. Combining it for a Christmas story could be clever. Good look in the contest. Terry.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Jim, I may have missed the point. If I did...it won't be the first time, LOL. I think this story is an interpretation of a great song. Since no one knows exactly what war the songwriters had a mind, yours is as good as any. Combining it for a Christmas story could be clever. Good look in the contest. Terry.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much! I appreciate your words!
Comment from Teri7
Jim, This is a very well written Christmas story with great descriptive words and imagery. My favorite part is the song by Abba! They used to be one of my favorite groups.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Jim, This is a very well written Christmas story with great descriptive words and imagery. My favorite part is the song by Abba! They used to be one of my favorite groups.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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I'm glad I brought back a good memory to you!
Comment from Navada
What an interesting combination of images and concepts! As an Abba fan from way back, I loved this. I also really enjoyed the very different take on a Christmas story from a completely different and unexpected angle. I hope this does very well in the contest!
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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What an interesting combination of images and concepts! As an Abba fan from way back, I loved this. I also really enjoyed the very different take on a Christmas story from a completely different and unexpected angle. I hope this does very well in the contest!
Comment Written 22-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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I'm very pleased at your response! Thank you!
Comment from Sally Law
Loving this story and contest entry. I adore Abba and especially this song. A delight for my reviewing day, my friend. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Loving this story and contest entry. I adore Abba and especially this song. A delight for my reviewing day, my friend. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 22-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Many, many thanks!