haiku (cold city moon shines)
haiku17 total reviews
Comment from Lordinajamjar
Nice job, Val.
This a great haiku and in an urban setting to boot.
I really like the setting, so familiar and serene. That simple weekly ritual of putting out the garbage captured in a tiny verse.
John
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2023
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Nice job, Val.
This a great haiku and in an urban setting to boot.
I really like the setting, so familiar and serene. That simple weekly ritual of putting out the garbage captured in a tiny verse.
John
Comment Written 03-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2023
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Thank you for the fabulous review, and for this wonderful rating. I am thrilled and humbled.
Comment from jim vecchio
Some may say this is a senyru, but I don't care. It is a good strong vision with the moon in the cold night as the focus. I enjoyed the artwork, as well. Hope you do well!
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2023
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Some may say this is a senyru, but I don't care. It is a good strong vision with the moon in the cold night as the focus. I enjoyed the artwork, as well. Hope you do well!
Comment Written 02-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2023
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Thank you for this wonderful review.
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Thank you for a beautiful image!
Comment from Janet Foor
I love it Val. Clever and creative and fun. I think you have haiku magic.
The combination of the celestial with an everyday item is genius.
The satori line is remarkable and memorable and made me smile. A real aha moment.
My husband keeps getting better and we are looking forward to Christmas and celebrating with family.
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas.
So sorry I am out of sixes.
Hope you win the contest.
All the best
Janet
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2023
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I love it Val. Clever and creative and fun. I think you have haiku magic.
The combination of the celestial with an everyday item is genius.
The satori line is remarkable and memorable and made me smile. A real aha moment.
My husband keeps getting better and we are looking forward to Christmas and celebrating with family.
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas.
So sorry I am out of sixes.
Hope you win the contest.
All the best
Janet
Comment Written 02-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2023
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First of all, I am so happy your husband is recoverin and that you will be able to spend Christmas with your family.
Secondly, never worry about sixes with me. I am just so happy when I receive your reviews, and this one was especially special. I see I have from you, have company, but will get to reading it. Hugs
Comment from Lisasview
Hi there Val,
Very interesting Haiku poem that you have posted... I always love metaphors in poetry...
Good luck in the Haiku poetry contest,
Lisasview
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2023
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Hi there Val,
Very interesting Haiku poem that you have posted... I always love metaphors in poetry...
Good luck in the Haiku poetry contest,
Lisasview
Comment Written 02-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2023
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Thank you for the lovely review.
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You are most welcome,
Lisa
Comment from Michael Groover
this haiku is a delightful and thought-provoking piece. It encourages a reevaluation of the ordinary, urging the reader to find beauty and magic in the everyday aspects of urban living. The poem's simplicity and vivid imagery make it an accessible and enjoyable read, perfect for reflecting on the small wonders of daily life.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2023
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this haiku is a delightful and thought-provoking piece. It encourages a reevaluation of the ordinary, urging the reader to find beauty and magic in the everyday aspects of urban living. The poem's simplicity and vivid imagery make it an accessible and enjoyable read, perfect for reflecting on the small wonders of daily life.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2023
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Thank you, for this lovely review.
Comment from Daylily
I am still reviewing this with five stars because I like what you are saying. However, haiku requires a seasonal reference (called a kigo) and there is none here. Is this a different kind of haiku? Usually, it would read something like 'cold moon shines' to indicate winter -- or even 'autumn moon shines'. Also, haiku is about nature and something you can actually see, hear, touch, or smell in a single moment of time. (Is urban magic a thing we can actually see?) I always understood that poetic elements, like metaphors and similes, are never used in haiku.
While the moon does indicate nature, I feel I am missing something here, and in several other haiku encountered lately when reviewing. But I am always open to learning new things.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2023
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I am still reviewing this with five stars because I like what you are saying. However, haiku requires a seasonal reference (called a kigo) and there is none here. Is this a different kind of haiku? Usually, it would read something like 'cold moon shines' to indicate winter -- or even 'autumn moon shines'. Also, haiku is about nature and something you can actually see, hear, touch, or smell in a single moment of time. (Is urban magic a thing we can actually see?) I always understood that poetic elements, like metaphors and similes, are never used in haiku.
While the moon does indicate nature, I feel I am missing something here, and in several other haiku encountered lately when reviewing. But I am always open to learning new things.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2023
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Well, first of all, what a fabulous review. That said I have been writing haiku for 15 years, and at first for a great mentor on this site that sadly passed years ago. American haiku has changed haiku greatly. Sometimes for the best, and sometimes not for the purist. I have decided to write haiku, as the masters did and consider it a "snapshot" of life. Thank you for your thoughts.
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a very nicely composed haiku. You capture the urban spirit of your environment and turn it into a magical moment in time. Well done and good luck.
Melissa
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2023
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This is a very nicely composed haiku. You capture the urban spirit of your environment and turn it into a magical moment in time. Well done and good luck.
Melissa
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2023
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Thank you
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Dang Val, this one is so good! I guess maybe because I understood the story perfectly as well as being beautifully illustrated. Seems the longer I read, the more I get it. Good luck on this wonderfully crafted piece of art!
Kiwi
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2023
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Dang Val, this one is so good! I guess maybe because I understood the story perfectly as well as being beautifully illustrated. Seems the longer I read, the more I get it. Good luck on this wonderfully crafted piece of art!
Kiwi
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2023
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Wow, where have you been. Thank you for the great review
Comment from Navada
I really like the combination of the celestial and mundane here as you show us how the light from one can transform the other. You've created a very clear sense of place here and the accompanying visual image works very well in tandem.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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I really like the combination of the celestial and mundane here as you show us how the light from one can transform the other. You've created a very clear sense of place here and the accompanying visual image works very well in tandem.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Navada, this quite a well written review, which have come rare on this site.
Comment from papa55mike
You have to find that magic wherever you can and taking out the garbage cans works. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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You have to find that magic wherever you can and taking out the garbage cans works. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 21-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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Thank you for the lovely review
