2023 Gypsy's Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 103 "He Was 18 Years Old"x
7 total reviews
Comment from aryr
What a sad poem, Gypsy. This was a wonderful poem about the sadness. The two pictures were justified, they showed that he wasn't old enough to drink but old enough for war. They sure were, they died. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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What a sad poem, Gypsy. This was a wonderful poem about the sadness. The two pictures were justified, they showed that he wasn't old enough to drink but old enough for war. They sure were, they died. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 11-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
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This was fabulous, you are welcome, Gypsy.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
AMEN!!!! This poem hits home. My husband is retired Army after 23 years in and my oldest son, Greg, is now retired after 26 years in. Greg went in at 17. Not my choice but his. I didn't want him to enlist. I lost that battle. I remember when I was a young Army wife and I would see a young solider in the PX or commissary and think, 'Man, he's a hunk!' I know I'm old now because when I see them, I think, 'He's so young. He needs to be home with his mama a few more years.' I wish I had a six left. This is a perfect presentation.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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AMEN!!!! This poem hits home. My husband is retired Army after 23 years in and my oldest son, Greg, is now retired after 26 years in. Greg went in at 17. Not my choice but his. I didn't want him to enlist. I lost that battle. I remember when I was a young Army wife and I would see a young solider in the PX or commissary and think, 'Man, he's a hunk!' I know I'm old now because when I see them, I think, 'He's so young. He needs to be home with his mama a few more years.' I wish I had a six left. This is a perfect presentation.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Yes, it's very sad. I wish nobody had to go to war but especially the young ones with a whole life ahead.
Thank you very much for your exceptional five stars review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from shelley kaye
like the repeating line. drives the point home.
good imagery of the army men knocking on the door
nice work, simple, and straight-forward senryu suite
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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like the repeating line. drives the point home.
good imagery of the army men knocking on the door
nice work, simple, and straight-forward senryu suite
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 11-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Shelley
Thank you very much for your exceptional five stars review and kind words. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from lyenochka
Good use of repetition to really drive home that painful reality for many families who suffer the loss of their loved ones due to war. It is an even more scary time for mothers whose kids have signed now today.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Good use of repetition to really drive home that painful reality for many families who suffer the loss of their loved ones due to war. It is an even more scary time for mothers whose kids have signed now today.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Oh no.... how scary.
Thank God, sister. I hope you have a wonderful weekend 💗
Love
Marival
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi MariVal,
reading the echoes of someone else's experienced pain solidifies the 'ravages of war'. The fight between a so-called good and evil that bares the very same result regardless... but to sit by and not react, or do nothing? Wouldn't it be so much more palatable if we all knew the true motivations and reasoning behind the wars? But of course, that will never happen as blame rules supreme in justification of the reasons.
How many humans have died under the veil of war?
Estimates for the total number killed in wars throughout all of human history range from 150 million to 1 billion.
That's insane!
You may not know the places, or even be able to pronounce some of the words... but it's a song about the Vietnam war and the draft that saw these batch of nineteen year old Aussies go to war.
Mum and Dad and Denny saw the passing out parade at Puckapunyal
It was a long march from cadets
The Sixth Battalion was the next to tour, and it was me who drew the card
We did Canungra and Shoalwater before we left
[Chorus]
And Townsville lined the footpath as we marched down to the quay
This clipping from the paper shows us young and strong and clean
And there's me, in my slouch hat, with my SLR and greens
God help me
I was only nineteen
[Verse 2]
From Vung Tau riding Chinooks to the dust at Nui Dat
I'd been in and out of choppers now for months
And we made our tents a home: VB, and pinups on the lockers
And an Agent Orange sunset through the scrub
[Chorus]
And can you tell me, doctor, why I still can't get to sleep?
And night time's just a jungle dark and a barking M16?
And what's this rash that comes and goes?
Can you tell me what it means?
God help me
I was only nineteen
[Verse 3]
A four-week operation when each step can mean your last one on two legs
It was a war within yourself
But you wouldn't let your mates down 'til they had you dusted off
So you closed your eyes and thought about somethin' else
[Verse 4]
And then someone yelled out "Contact!" and the bloke behind me swore
We hooked in there for hours, then a God-almighty roar
Frankie kicked a mine the day that mankind kicked the moon
God help me
He was going home in June
[Verse 5]
And I can still see Frankie drinkin' tinnies in the Grand Hotel
On a thirty-six hour rec leave in Vung Tau
And I can still hear Frankie lying screaming in the jungle
'Til the morphine came and killed the bloody row
[Verse 6]
And the ANZAC legends didn't mention mud and blood and tears
And stories that my father told me never seemed quite real
I caught some pieces in my back that I didn't even feel
God help me
I was only nineteen
[Chorus]
And can you tell me, doctor, why I still can't get to sleep?
And why the Channel Seven chopper chills me to my feet?
And what's this rash that comes and goes?
Can you tell me what it means?
God help me
I was only nineteen.
The above is a song by an Australian group, Red Gum... your poem reminded me of it even though the age difference was one year.
Loved your poem... very meaningful and leaves you with an echoing emptiness of what a lot of people have had to and still do... endue.
With our thoughts we create...
love and forgiveness in our hearts.
Warmest regards,
James.
******Star exceptional!
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Hi MariVal,
reading the echoes of someone else's experienced pain solidifies the 'ravages of war'. The fight between a so-called good and evil that bares the very same result regardless... but to sit by and not react, or do nothing? Wouldn't it be so much more palatable if we all knew the true motivations and reasoning behind the wars? But of course, that will never happen as blame rules supreme in justification of the reasons.
How many humans have died under the veil of war?
Estimates for the total number killed in wars throughout all of human history range from 150 million to 1 billion.
That's insane!
You may not know the places, or even be able to pronounce some of the words... but it's a song about the Vietnam war and the draft that saw these batch of nineteen year old Aussies go to war.
Mum and Dad and Denny saw the passing out parade at Puckapunyal
It was a long march from cadets
The Sixth Battalion was the next to tour, and it was me who drew the card
We did Canungra and Shoalwater before we left
[Chorus]
And Townsville lined the footpath as we marched down to the quay
This clipping from the paper shows us young and strong and clean
And there's me, in my slouch hat, with my SLR and greens
God help me
I was only nineteen
[Verse 2]
From Vung Tau riding Chinooks to the dust at Nui Dat
I'd been in and out of choppers now for months
And we made our tents a home: VB, and pinups on the lockers
And an Agent Orange sunset through the scrub
[Chorus]
And can you tell me, doctor, why I still can't get to sleep?
And night time's just a jungle dark and a barking M16?
And what's this rash that comes and goes?
Can you tell me what it means?
God help me
I was only nineteen
[Verse 3]
A four-week operation when each step can mean your last one on two legs
It was a war within yourself
But you wouldn't let your mates down 'til they had you dusted off
So you closed your eyes and thought about somethin' else
[Verse 4]
And then someone yelled out "Contact!" and the bloke behind me swore
We hooked in there for hours, then a God-almighty roar
Frankie kicked a mine the day that mankind kicked the moon
God help me
He was going home in June
[Verse 5]
And I can still see Frankie drinkin' tinnies in the Grand Hotel
On a thirty-six hour rec leave in Vung Tau
And I can still hear Frankie lying screaming in the jungle
'Til the morphine came and killed the bloody row
[Verse 6]
And the ANZAC legends didn't mention mud and blood and tears
And stories that my father told me never seemed quite real
I caught some pieces in my back that I didn't even feel
God help me
I was only nineteen
[Chorus]
And can you tell me, doctor, why I still can't get to sleep?
And why the Channel Seven chopper chills me to my feet?
And what's this rash that comes and goes?
Can you tell me what it means?
God help me
I was only nineteen.
The above is a song by an Australian group, Red Gum... your poem reminded me of it even though the age difference was one year.
Loved your poem... very meaningful and leaves you with an echoing emptiness of what a lot of people have had to and still do... endue.
With our thoughts we create...
love and forgiveness in our hearts.
Warmest regards,
James.
******Star exceptional!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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It's a sad song. I do know about the Vietnam War but I didn't know Australians fought there. In America, people didn't treat the Vietnam War veterans with respect and kindness. It was such a horrible and long war...so many lost souls. I like the song but it's very sad. I didn't know the exact number of dead soldiers...that's horrible.
Thank you very much, James. I'm happy you like it. It's good to hear from you. (*÷*)
Con cariņo,
Marival
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
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Fondly, is such a warm word and sentiment.
?Fondness was the best word she could think of to describe what they felt for each other. Fondness was warm but not tepid, the color of amber, more affectionate than friendship but less complicated than love.?
― Coco Mellors, Cleopatra and Frankenstein
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I never heard the Coco Mellors, Cleopatra and Frankenstein poem, it's beautiful.
Yes, fondness is a good word for us
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:))
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Wow! This is incredible! There is so much emotion and imagery. The reader is drawn into the feelings a mother would have. Whoever has been a mother or a son or had a mother or had a son or had a child or has been someone's child, would feel this entire poem, beginning to end. The whole colorful and vivid presentation with the repetition, all adds up to emotion. Very well done! People should be made to read this before they consider sending any 18 year old kid to war.
Amazing work,
Alexan
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Wow! This is incredible! There is so much emotion and imagery. The reader is drawn into the feelings a mother would have. Whoever has been a mother or a son or had a mother or had a son or had a child or has been someone's child, would feel this entire poem, beginning to end. The whole colorful and vivid presentation with the repetition, all adds up to emotion. Very well done! People should be made to read this before they consider sending any 18 year old kid to war.
Amazing work,
Alexan
Comment Written 10-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from GWHARGIS
I remember when my brother and sister lost friends in Vietnam. I lost a few friends in Desert Storm. Losing a child to war is so devastating. This was haunting and real. Gtetchen
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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I remember when my brother and sister lost friends in Vietnam. I lost a few friends in Desert Storm. Losing a child to war is so devastating. This was haunting and real. Gtetchen
Comment Written 10-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs