I Shouldn't have kissed you..
She couldn't blame me ............5 total reviews
Comment from jim vecchio
An excellent poem! My wife made sure I earned the right to kiss her before we married! Believe me, I stayed on my best behavior! And it was worth it! Lately, 've been getting many corrections on punctuation. So, let me just point out some things: 3rd stanza: "heavens above" doesn't need a comma; 4th stanza: "would share" doesn't need a comma; 5th stanza: "wanted to be" doesn't need a comma; 6th stanza: "you'll show" doesn't need a comma; last stanza: I believe is okay, but some may say use a period or semicolon after "did". Imay be all wrong, but this is what I've been told about my work from others.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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An excellent poem! My wife made sure I earned the right to kiss her before we married! Believe me, I stayed on my best behavior! And it was worth it! Lately, 've been getting many corrections on punctuation. So, let me just point out some things: 3rd stanza: "heavens above" doesn't need a comma; 4th stanza: "would share" doesn't need a comma; 5th stanza: "wanted to be" doesn't need a comma; 6th stanza: "you'll show" doesn't need a comma; last stanza: I believe is okay, but some may say use a period or semicolon after "did". Imay be all wrong, but this is what I've been told about my work from others.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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This is new to me Jim. A simple comma is simply a hesitant, I use them all the time. Thanks for your suggestions though I always take note. I only ever kissed my wife of 62 years. So there !
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I hate to bring up matters of punctuation. I've had it done often to my stuff so tht I just wanted to prepare you in event someone brings it up. I prefer making our own rules!
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A rule is a rule Jim..
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What if ee cummings didn't brek the rules?
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I had a typo in my last reply. Sorry. My hand tremors.
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You can't please everyone all of the time Jim. Just please me, and we'll get along. LOL
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Sure thing!
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relaxation in writing is a diamond in the making. Polish it !
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If anyone's writing needs polishing, it's mine!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I love the repetition of that line: "I shouldn't have kissed you." It gives the whole verse such a great, musical and fun quality drawing the reader in to want to learn more. It also reflects your anguish at this act though I'm not sure why. I'm a little perplexed by the last word of your poem. But I like this and once again you make me smile with your mischief. "But you (were) the first" (I can't overlook that one:) Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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I love the repetition of that line: "I shouldn't have kissed you." It gives the whole verse such a great, musical and fun quality drawing the reader in to want to learn more. It also reflects your anguish at this act though I'm not sure why. I'm a little perplexed by the last word of your poem. But I like this and once again you make me smile with your mischief. "But you (were) the first" (I can't overlook that one:) Take care Debbie
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Thanks Debbie for a grand review. As you know repetition is one of my favourite poetic ways. 'BID' is that last word Debbie so it works. Thank you so much. Eric X
Comment from poetwatch
Enrico, it was a long time ago, but those lips were sweet and she wanted more. What was I suppose to do, but comply? :) I see by your poem that that kiss is a kiss to remember and to hold. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Enrico, it was a long time ago, but those lips were sweet and she wanted more. What was I suppose to do, but comply? :) I see by your poem that that kiss is a kiss to remember and to hold. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Nice short review Poetwatch thank you. Do you actually remember your first kiss ? And, how many kisses have you delivered up to press ?
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If I clear the cobwebs from my mind... I believe I was 13 :) about 60 years ago. Since then I've forgotten more then I can remember. :) How time flies when one is having fun.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I recall such moments in time, long ago, and was fortunate to maintain that glow even though she has cooled a bit, yikes, why kiss and tell, but at 76 ??? You know.
I will suggest you choosing a larger size font, and with that background test to see if you like white lettering instead of black. If you need help I'm here.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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I recall such moments in time, long ago, and was fortunate to maintain that glow even though she has cooled a bit, yikes, why kiss and tell, but at 76 ??? You know.
I will suggest you choosing a larger size font, and with that background test to see if you like white lettering instead of black. If you need help I'm here.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Thanks Tom. I must say, it never crosses my mind to change the font in size or design. Perhaps my eyesight is exceptional. I may, just, take you up on that suggestion. Thank you.
Comment from JSD
Do you mean 'bid' for the last line? And fourth stanza, do you mean 'yours'? It makes a difference. Otherwise this is a sweet poem with assured rhyme and rhythm.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Do you mean 'bid' for the last line? And fourth stanza, do you mean 'yours'? It makes a difference. Otherwise this is a sweet poem with assured rhyme and rhythm.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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I did JSD. How could I get that wrong. The forth stanza though, I think fits. Thanks JSD for your review.... Too, too kind.
