Aftermath of Complacency
and the results7 total reviews
Comment from Jeano
Well, yeah, this is what happens to me after I watch the news. It was like you were in my head, and I could feel my blood pressure rising as I was backing that car out of the garage! I guess you ran out of words before you could write about the perps being booked and released. LOL Great, realistic story. If I was the parent of one of those college students, their college fund would be put to better use.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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Well, yeah, this is what happens to me after I watch the news. It was like you were in my head, and I could feel my blood pressure rising as I was backing that car out of the garage! I guess you ran out of words before you could write about the perps being booked and released. LOL Great, realistic story. If I was the parent of one of those college students, their college fund would be put to better use.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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I'm not on the border, but we still have a bunch of illegals who have made it here in San Antonio. I had a gun, but after getting bad arthritis in my right hand, I couldn't pull the thing on the top back to cock it, so my daughter took it.
Yesterday, getting my teeth cleaned, the tech told me she had a 38 Special, 380, and it is a lot less than the one I had, so I think I'm going to get one. I took lessons with the last one, but that was about 3 years ago. Going to try again. May not tell daughter :)
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Author,
well done on your story. Unfortunately this scenario is probably played out too often on our streets anymore. If not now, it most likely will be soon if we don't do things differently. One thing is for sure, we should get to know our neighbors and look out for each other. Good luck in the contest.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2023
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Hello Author,
well done on your story. Unfortunately this scenario is probably played out too often on our streets anymore. If not now, it most likely will be soon if we don't do things differently. One thing is for sure, we should get to know our neighbors and look out for each other. Good luck in the contest.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 11-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2023
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You're right. We do keep our front porch lights on all night on our street. I just hope we CAN make some changes. The Dems are doing their best to make DC a state, and they're still stuffing ballot boxes.
Thanks for reading and for your good wishes.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I found this confusing. Why did Jim not call?? why even mention him if he did no action? If she was so scared why wasn't her glass window covered? If all her lights were on and security in place why did they attempt to break into her lit-up security-conscious house? Does not make a whole lot of sense to me.
Can you explain what I am missing? If you make changes I can reread it and give a five .Karen
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2023
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I found this confusing. Why did Jim not call?? why even mention him if he did no action? If she was so scared why wasn't her glass window covered? If all her lights were on and security in place why did they attempt to break into her lit-up security-conscious house? Does not make a whole lot of sense to me.
Can you explain what I am missing? If you make changes I can reread it and give a five .Karen
Comment Written 11-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2023
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Jim didn't call because he was complacent and just didn't do it. He is the point of the story and her being attacked and killed is the result of his complacency. If he'd called the police like he said he would and they had patrolled, it would probably kept the bad guys away. Her house wasn't all lit up just the front porch lights and back ones outside - not inside. And the glass was in her sitting room - actually it's my sitting room adjacent to my bedroom, and it has a glass wall and door because it opens up to the patio. It is scary here because we have a lot of the illegals who've come across our border into our city. They are child traffickers, looters, scary people.
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She could have called herself. she could have stayed with somebody, left all the lights on. Moved the couch in front of the door. Set noisy alarms , bells ,game clickers. At the slightest sound used a blow horn, and 911.
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we have to live with the chance of these illegals going on a rampage. We cannot go live with somebody. She called about the lights and asked him to call the police and he said he would. This was not an emergency at the time. My story was about the complacency of this one man.
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Is this based on a true story? How many folks in your neighborhood have been
attacked? Why do the police do nothiing?
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no they haven't, but neighborhoods need to be more alert and have a group plan to help each other if it should happen.
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Group meetings need to be held block to block with meetings in houses instead of big places were anyone can come in get air horns. panic alarms. I had a sign on my fence. A lady standing with a shovel. Quit trespassing, I'm running out of yard! :-)
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I changed it to a 5. :-)
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Many thanks!!!!!
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that's cute!
I used to have a sign on my fence, Please carry a poop bag for your dog.
Still, some people don't.
One day I saw out the window this young guy coming with his dog and he stopped in my yard to poop. (the dog) ha! I walked outside and asked him please pick that up, and he said I'll go home and get a bag. And he did. I live on a corner where people from all around walk their dogs. I get tired of having to watch where I step in my own yard.
Oh, and we do meet in each other's houses.
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Have a good week :-)
Comment from Thesis
Taking current events and utilizing them in a story is a good way to capture interest. With everything going on in this crazy world right now, who wouldn't be scared? The transition from Jim going to call the police and what Sherry heard later that night was seamless. The ending is surprising.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
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Taking current events and utilizing them in a story is a good way to capture interest. With everything going on in this crazy world right now, who wouldn't be scared? The transition from Jim going to call the police and what Sherry heard later that night was seamless. The ending is surprising.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
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and good ole Jim didn't follow through.
Thank you!
Comment from jim vecchio
Reads like Fox News meets "The Purge". This was an exciting take on the Dream Contest and, unfortunately, one tht could very well come true sooner than we think.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Reads like Fox News meets "The Purge". This was an exciting take on the Dream Contest and, unfortunately, one tht could very well come true sooner than we think.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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I know. It scares me for this country!
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your writing is one that provokes emotion and I hope to read more of it!
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Thank you very much! I appreciate that!
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Again, I so appreciate your writing!
Comment from JSD
Exciting and horrific nightmare. Well done for responding to the prompt in this way; I reckon it has a good chance in the contest. Well written, engaging and compelling.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Exciting and horrific nightmare. Well done for responding to the prompt in this way; I reckon it has a good chance in the contest. Well written, engaging and compelling.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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thank you for your vey nice response. Much appreciated!!
Comment from royowen
That was good, I had a nightmare last night, thinking someone had set fire to our spare bedroom, I thought I saw a helmeted head at our bedroom window, I screamed at the image, then woke up, my wife wondering what I saw, nobody there, beautifully written, good luck, great story, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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That was good, I had a nightmare last night, thinking someone had set fire to our spare bedroom, I thought I saw a helmeted head at our bedroom window, I screamed at the image, then woke up, my wife wondering what I saw, nobody there, beautifully written, good luck, great story, blessings Roy
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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you should enter that in the contest, Roy - first hand experience!
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Well done