Comment from karenina

Excellent

Hmmm. So now I'm at that delightful point on the rollercoaster where I am ready to just hold on tight and enjoy the ride...

It appears Michelle was a VERY special friend...

I'm looking forward to their reunion.

We have a long way to go, I think!

Check spelling here:

"try and see if you can discreetly get a photograph of him..."

(dis·crete·ly)

Karenina

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023

Thank you Karenina, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

reply by karenina on 10-Nov-2023

Indeed I do!

Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Excellent

Give us a clue. No last name, they are both involved maybe even more people. They are acting more guilty than used. My brain wants answers. This is chapter ten, we should know something by know. Most people have already stopped reading. You should have been dropping clues. It isn't rape, because she wasn't afraid to approach him. It has to be something they did wrong. However, just because the occurence was a very big thing for her, doesn't mean it mattered at all to him. He could have seen them do something, and he did not know the significance of it at all. Doesn't even register for him. We need a clue by now.
Just my opinion. Karen

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023

Thank you, Karen.

reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 09-Nov-2023

U R Welcome Karen

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

I can't imagine something that happened when she was young that is going to ruin her life now. Your story is very intriguing and makes me anxious for the nest poxt..

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023

Thank you Beth, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

You have a way of creating suspense from the start and carrying it to the end. In my mind, this is what makes a good story great. This is the second chapter I have read, and I found them both interesting enough to continue reading. Nice writing.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023

Thank you, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

I am glad these two girls are going to meet up and perhaps we will learn more about what William has done in his past, if indeed it is William. Another fine chapter in your story Jacob, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023

Thank you Dolly.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I find it interesting that Michelle and the mysterious lady that picks up William both have back hair. I doubt it's a coincidence. Mayb I'm wrong. I like the story.

I said, immediately bending down to help her; (you don't need 'down' bending implies it)

'I'm happy to go with the flow, what are you studying?' (really two sentences here, 'flow.' & 'What')

I think that's what I found comforting about being around her, when I was young. (I don't think you need 'when I was young.' It's understood. Put a period after 'her.')

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023

Thank you Barbara, I'm really pleased that you're enjoying it.

Comment from eliz100

Excellent

This is another excellent chapter. The suspense you are creating with your words has me looking for the next chapter. I do not see any need for improvement. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023

Thank you.