Seawolf
A promise kept.12 total reviews
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Love conquers all! This is excellent work. Your presentation is very good. You use expressive words and colorful imagery that will draw in readers. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. The ending was perfect.
Best wishes,
Alex
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Love conquers all! This is excellent work. Your presentation is very good. You use expressive words and colorful imagery that will draw in readers. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. The ending was perfect.
Best wishes,
Alex
Comment Written 10-Nov-2023
Comment from cflorian8
Hello Seawolf. Firstly, if this story was based on real-life service, thank you for your sacrifice. Your entry is a strong contender to win the contest. In only 499 words, you created a grim visual straight from a war movie. While reviewing your masterpiece, I felt as though I was a soldier in the midst of a warzone. I have cerebral palsy, which prevents me from serving. I am forever thankful for the brave sacrifice of our men and women who fight to preserve my liberty. I read no grammar mistakes and your chosen font and size were fantastic choices for an easy read. The image companion ties everything together and creates a strong impact. Wonderful job and good luck in the contest.
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Hello Seawolf. Firstly, if this story was based on real-life service, thank you for your sacrifice. Your entry is a strong contender to win the contest. In only 499 words, you created a grim visual straight from a war movie. While reviewing your masterpiece, I felt as though I was a soldier in the midst of a warzone. I have cerebral palsy, which prevents me from serving. I am forever thankful for the brave sacrifice of our men and women who fight to preserve my liberty. I read no grammar mistakes and your chosen font and size were fantastic choices for an easy read. The image companion ties everything together and creates a strong impact. Wonderful job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2023
Comment from créateur d'histoire
This was great. You told this story in vivid detail. It was like we were there with the main character . It was powerful. I was happy to read the reunion between the lovers.Good luck in the contest!
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This was great. You told this story in vivid detail. It was like we were there with the main character . It was powerful. I was happy to read the reunion between the lovers.Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
Comment from Wendy G
Plenty of drama and horror in this one but just as well it was only a dream. You described your feelings of terror very well. Sending best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
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Plenty of drama and horror in this one but just as well it was only a dream. You described your feelings of terror very well. Sending best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
Comment from jim vecchio
What a beautiful story! Raw and gritty action tht suddenly turns into a romance! I wish I could wake up and see my wife again, but I will, someday. This should do extremely well in the contest!
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What a beautiful story! Raw and gritty action tht suddenly turns into a romance! I wish I could wake up and see my wife again, but I will, someday. This should do extremely well in the contest!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2023
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Great action. And nicely written.
The Master Chief was a bit tough for me, though. Was he Navy? Doing Grunt work? I would have made him a Corporal or Sergeant.
I think Afghanistan and Iraq stretched our military beyond its training.
Good luck in the contest.
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Great action. And nicely written.
The Master Chief was a bit tough for me, though. Was he Navy? Doing Grunt work? I would have made him a Corporal or Sergeant.
I think Afghanistan and Iraq stretched our military beyond its training.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2023
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You ought to read Bill Schott. I bet you would like his "bakers dozen" stories. You write well. I look forward to more of your work. I will fan you, so i get your stories in my box. Karen
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You ought to read Bill Schott. I bet you would like his "bakers dozen" stories. You write well. I look forward to more of your work. I will fan you, so i get your stories in my box. Karen
Comment Written 08-Nov-2023
Comment from pome lover
well, you had me convinced this was real. I had to look up at the top to see if it was fiction. Since it is, I have a question. Was the whole thing a dream, or was he home from being injured?
This was very realistically written, and the picture seemed to be especially for this story.
Good job!
Katharine
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well, you had me convinced this was real. I had to look up at the top to see if it was fiction. Since it is, I have a question. Was the whole thing a dream, or was he home from being injured?
This was very realistically written, and the picture seemed to be especially for this story.
Good job!
Katharine
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
Comment from JSD
Aww. A sweet story. Using the 'dream' prompt without cliche. The tears at the end are moving and fit with the rest of the story perfectly. Well done and good luck in the contest.
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Aww. A sweet story. Using the 'dream' prompt without cliche. The tears at the end are moving and fit with the rest of the story perfectly. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
Comment from lancellot
Well, technically, there is a dream involved in this story. It's one line, but maybe that will be enough. It is a good scene. I think you may want to consider adding more of your MC's feelings while he was on the beach. More emphasis on his pain, struggle, fear, how that agony felt like acid in his mouth, how his eyes watered and burned from the sand and blood. Make the reader feel what he felt.
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Well, technically, there is a dream involved in this story. It's one line, but maybe that will be enough. It is a good scene. I think you may want to consider adding more of your MC's feelings while he was on the beach. More emphasis on his pain, struggle, fear, how that agony felt like acid in his mouth, how his eyes watered and burned from the sand and blood. Make the reader feel what he felt.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2023
