Comment from Jumbo J

Excellent

Well what a contrast to the senryu I just read MariVal... this one is formed around happiness and joy... well at least for the rugrat scattering the leaves. I doubt dad will view it the same way after raking the leaves up though. For the past few weeks all I have been doing is raking up leaves... well, not all I've been doing, just seems like that... so I feel for the dad... but I also revel in the joy your image has paired with to allow the full picture created in what fun a pile of leaves can be.

Yes, the childhood joy really holds you caressingly and warms one's soul... beautiful!

With our thoughts we create...
the magic of simplicity.

Warmest regards,
James.

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2023

---

reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023

James! It's so good to hear from you. I hope you are well and not raking too many leaves. LoL

When I take a walk with my grandson, Atticus, I have to restraint him from jumping on neighbors leaves.

I try to write a variety of themes to keep it interesting. I'm happy you like it.

Cariņo y Abrazos,

Marival
"The real secret to a fabulous life is to live imperfectly with great delight"

Comment from aryr

Excellent

This was a well done haiku and I enjoyed the picture, Gypsy. I liked the picture because it showed scattered leaves which the boy did. Boys and young girls love to play in the leaves. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2023

---

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. :) thank you for the kind words. blessed be.

Gypsy

reply by aryr on 07-Nov-2023

You are so welcome, Gypsy.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

My son sent photographs of my two young granddaughters playing in the leaves after he raked them. They appeared to have so much fun. I can't imagine they didn't. Thank you for sharing this fun poem with us.

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2023

---

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. :) thank you for the kind words.

Gypsy

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

LOL! that kid looks so happy!!

a great haiku with good imagery and smooth (but crunchy ;-) flow

i do have one interesting suggestion - maybe separate the letters of
s c a t t e r e d
and use different shades of orange?
just a thought!!

thank you for sharing
shelley :)

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2023

---

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023

i separated the s c a t t e r e d.... it looks cool. I don't want different colors in one word... to busy for the eyes.

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem.

Gypsy

Comment from Mark D. R.

Excellent

Gypsy,

I prefer to make 'dad' more personal and edit it with an initial cap. It seems to be a better fit for your Senryu.

Text color and artwork create a nice combo.

Mark

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2023

---

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem.

Gypsy

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

I can feel dad's angst. Hard work that has been ruined by children in mere minutes. But I also know how a parent feels when their child has such a pure and joyful moment. This was great. Gretchen

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2023

---

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem.

Gypsy

Comment from L. Kalere

Excellent

I would get into big trouble if I ever scattered my dad's leaves, and maybe that's why I like this so much. I love the idea of "happy feet". As usual, beautiful in every way.

Linda

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2023

---

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. You are right :) thank you for the kind words.

Gypsy

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Nothing says autumn like the need to rake leaves and the "happy feet" of children jumping in the piles of leaves, requiring re-raking! A fun autumn poem!

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2023

---

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2023

Hahaha, it's a silly one. I don't know where it came from. Last night I had an idea for a haiku and I had to grab my phone to write it down.

Thank you, big sister. I always appreciate your kind and insightful reviews.

love,
marival