Behind each door
Halloween contest entry for fun14 total reviews
Comment from Tom Horonzy
This was cute as well, and when released timely for the little monsters you got to meet? Maybe. Not we, as we live out among the trees on sixty-seven acres in Western North Carolina. It would serve you well to enlarge the font size as many of our reviewers are aged like myself.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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This was cute as well, and when released timely for the little monsters you got to meet? Maybe. Not we, as we live out among the trees on sixty-seven acres in Western North Carolina. It would serve you well to enlarge the font size as many of our reviewers are aged like myself.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Tom, for the excellent review and helpful tip on font enlargement. I'm no spring chicken myself, lol.
I'll bet your property it beautiful and peaceful.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very nice, uplifting Halloween poem. Pointy hats off to you.
I, as a non-poet, enjoy the easy rhyming scheme, particularly when the rhymes are not forced as in your style (unforced).
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Very nice, uplifting Halloween poem. Pointy hats off to you.
I, as a non-poet, enjoy the easy rhyming scheme, particularly when the rhymes are not forced as in your style (unforced).
Best wishes.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Wayne. Sorry for the late response, been fishing lol.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Navada
This is an enjoyable read which I think most children (and adults for that matter) will relate to. Your metre is mostly there and there are some fun rhymes employed as well. Thanks for the share and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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This is an enjoyable read which I think most children (and adults for that matter) will relate to. Your metre is mostly there and there are some fun rhymes employed as well. Thanks for the share and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Navada. Sorry for the late response. I'm on vacation and was fishing a little.
God bless,
Steve
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All good - it's great that you get the opportunity to enjoy some down time!
Comment from Eveline Blackwood
Dearest Neonewman,
What a clever and fun poem you have created. I am sure it will be the delight of many children for the next Halloween that comes.
Unfortunately I do have a few suggestions I must leave you with. The first is, it may be worth considering clarifying some imagery in your second stanza regarding the ever so silent Mr. Meyers. While I assume your intention is to describe the nature in which little Michael never talks, "silently rapping" makes it seem like he is somehow rapping on the door and it is not making any noise, which is very perplexing to the reader. Perhaps the change to "wordlessly rapping" would be more clear.
I must also leave you with one more bone to pick, which is your third stanza, second verse. I'm afraid it has been my experience that the word "to" never plays nicely with other "t" words beside it when forming your meter. This is the only verse that the meter changes and is a bit bumpy to the reader. Perhaps, "as a ghost BOOs to scare you!" This would also give you a fun internal rhyme and would be a delight for children.
You have a lovely rhyme here and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future,
Should you have any questions or concerns regarding my recommendations, my office is always open. If you wish to edit and make changes, I will be happy to read your submission again.
Have a marvelous evening.
Regards,
E.B.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Dearest Neonewman,
What a clever and fun poem you have created. I am sure it will be the delight of many children for the next Halloween that comes.
Unfortunately I do have a few suggestions I must leave you with. The first is, it may be worth considering clarifying some imagery in your second stanza regarding the ever so silent Mr. Meyers. While I assume your intention is to describe the nature in which little Michael never talks, "silently rapping" makes it seem like he is somehow rapping on the door and it is not making any noise, which is very perplexing to the reader. Perhaps the change to "wordlessly rapping" would be more clear.
I must also leave you with one more bone to pick, which is your third stanza, second verse. I'm afraid it has been my experience that the word "to" never plays nicely with other "t" words beside it when forming your meter. This is the only verse that the meter changes and is a bit bumpy to the reader. Perhaps, "as a ghost BOOs to scare you!" This would also give you a fun internal rhyme and would be a delight for children.
You have a lovely rhyme here and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future,
Should you have any questions or concerns regarding my recommendations, my office is always open. If you wish to edit and make changes, I will be happy to read your submission again.
Have a marvelous evening.
Regards,
E.B.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Eveline, for this most helpful review. I am always looking to improve my craft.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from lindafisher
This is a really cute little poem covering all the children's wonderful costumes. It is a very pleasing read and well written. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2023
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This is a really cute little poem covering all the children's wonderful costumes. It is a very pleasing read and well written. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2023
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Thank you for the awesome review, my friend.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-It's good to see you back on FS.
-Very nice Halloween artwork and presentation.
-A well written poem with effective imagery and rhyme.
-I like your descriptions of the various costumes
the trick or treaters are dressed in.
-A very good concluding verse that shows how
"Halloween's a treat for all
be you short or be you tall."
-A good entry; good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2023
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-It's good to see you back on FS.
-Very nice Halloween artwork and presentation.
-A well written poem with effective imagery and rhyme.
-I like your descriptions of the various costumes
the trick or treaters are dressed in.
-A very good concluding verse that shows how
"Halloween's a treat for all
be you short or be you tall."
-A good entry; good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Pam. Great to be back.
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You are very welcome!
Comment from JSD
A great jaunty Halloween poem, perfectly mixing the spooky with the fun. I'm not sure about the last line which seems a bit of a cop-out, and you don't need apostrophes in lines 9 or 13. Otherwise this is a lovely piece. Well done and good luck.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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A great jaunty Halloween poem, perfectly mixing the spooky with the fun. I'm not sure about the last line which seems a bit of a cop-out, and you don't need apostrophes in lines 9 or 13. Otherwise this is a lovely piece. Well done and good luck.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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Thank you, JSD for the awesome review and help with the apostrophes. They tend to be an issue with me.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Ric Myworld
Happy Halloween! One of my favorite days of the years. All the little creatures out having fun. Hyped up on sugar, bouncing merrily along. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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Happy Halloween! One of my favorite days of the years. All the little creatures out having fun. Hyped up on sugar, bouncing merrily along. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Ric, mine too!
Comment from royowen
I have a little trouble wondering why Halloween wander from what it was originally morphing into what it is today, an opportunity for companies to make more commercial money perhaps, mind you you've made good out of this contest Steve, good job, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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I have a little trouble wondering why Halloween wander from what it was originally morphing into what it is today, an opportunity for companies to make more commercial money perhaps, mind you you've made good out of this contest Steve, good job, blessings Roy
Comment Written 31-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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Everything is about money these days. So many scam artists out there. It's sad.
Thank you for the awesome review, my friend.
God bless,
Steve
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That?s true
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Halloween is a fun celebration for everyone including the adults: "Mom's and Dad's behind each door
pass out candy by the score
Halloween's a treat for all
be you short or be you tall." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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Halloween is a fun celebration for everyone including the adults: "Mom's and Dad's behind each door
pass out candy by the score
Halloween's a treat for all
be you short or be you tall." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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Thank you for the awesome review, Iza.
I love this time of the year.
God bless,
Steve
