Mem and Family
A storm hits as a fishermen hunts for his prey.2 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
This is a thrilling ride. I will admit it did feel like part of a larger and ongoing story, not a stand-alone. Why? Because the reader had to first understand the new terms, new world, and what was going on in it. But, thankfully the tale is long enough and rich enough with context that understanding does come.
Their bodies look inhuman; the scale-like {rush} makes them look
-rash
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2023
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This is a thrilling ride. I will admit it did feel like part of a larger and ongoing story, not a stand-alone. Why? Because the reader had to first understand the new terms, new world, and what was going on in it. But, thankfully the tale is long enough and rich enough with context that understanding does come.
Their bodies look inhuman; the scale-like {rush} makes them look
-rash
Comment Written 03-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2023
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I'm glad you enjoyed it, lancellot.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Are you using a program that fills in the words instead of you typing them out completely? You have a whole lot of places where the word is close but totally wrong. I have read your writing before and didn't notice this kind of problem. You should proofread your work carefully. What you did right is create interesting characters and you have a good story line. Those are important, but correct words are also very important. I am probably going to run out of space, but I am going to show you some of the corrections you need to make inside parenthesis in the order they come. ...they (break) through... ...You're trapped (poacher) ... ...use as a (crutch)... ...Mem's (wrath)... ...So it begins." (paragraph break) ...The waters (begin) to (roil), ... ....more of you(,") he asks as ... ...snapping the (mast) from... ...and (threaten) to jab his... ...the sea-serpent roars(,) ... ....and continue my (painstaking) march... ...from (my brother's) ship,,, "Sit," (my) brother orders(,) gesturing to a crate(.) (Not) arguing, I sit... ..(dangling)around her... ...taking a (cleaver) from ... ...it wouldn't hurt (me) so much... ....fallen (ones)stripped... ...my brother snaps (me) back to the (present). You also have some words capitalized for no reason. Best of luck with this as it is an interesting and adventurous story.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2023
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Are you using a program that fills in the words instead of you typing them out completely? You have a whole lot of places where the word is close but totally wrong. I have read your writing before and didn't notice this kind of problem. You should proofread your work carefully. What you did right is create interesting characters and you have a good story line. Those are important, but correct words are also very important. I am probably going to run out of space, but I am going to show you some of the corrections you need to make inside parenthesis in the order they come. ...they (break) through... ...You're trapped (poacher) ... ...use as a (crutch)... ...Mem's (wrath)... ...So it begins." (paragraph break) ...The waters (begin) to (roil), ... ....more of you(,") he asks as ... ...snapping the (mast) from... ...and (threaten) to jab his... ...the sea-serpent roars(,) ... ....and continue my (painstaking) march... ...from (my brother's) ship,,, "Sit," (my) brother orders(,) gesturing to a crate(.) (Not) arguing, I sit... ..(dangling)around her... ...taking a (cleaver) from ... ...it wouldn't hurt (me) so much... ....fallen (ones)stripped... ...my brother snaps (me) back to the (present). You also have some words capitalized for no reason. Best of luck with this as it is an interesting and adventurous story.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2023
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Hello Carol Hillebrenner, thank you again for your feedback, it's always appreciated. Yes, you are correct I was using a voice-to-text program. I was hoping that speaking out loud would catch the these errors. Well, lesson learned. I'll start a deep dive and see how many more errors I can find.
Thanks again
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Voice to text leaves me with unbelievably bad comments on text.
