2023 Gypsy's Tanka
Viewing comments for Chapter 60 "Tangled in Sheets"-
5 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I have a feeling this heat wave is a lot more than the outside temperature. Maybe going through menopause. LOL Nope something a lot more sensual. Thank you for sharing this poem and presentation with us.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
  |
I have a feeling this heat wave is a lot more than the outside temperature. Maybe going through menopause. LOL Nope something a lot more sensual. Thank you for sharing this poem and presentation with us.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
-
LoL not menopause
Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was very hot. Very sensual. The dripping last into the bed was suggestive and wanting. Very good imagery and tone. Thank you for sharing this. Gretchen
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
|
This was very hot. Very sensual. The dripping last into the bed was suggestive and wanting. Very good imagery and tone. Thank you for sharing this. Gretchen
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
-
Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from shelley kaye
ooh cool tanka
perfect satori center line
great imagery of tangled in the sheets in a heat wave
last line i kinda tripped over
dripping lust my bed aflame
i kept wanting to either put a comma and pause after 'lust' or i wanted to add "bed's"
dripping lust, my bed aflame
dripping lust my bed's aflame
than again, it could be just me lol
still a great tanka
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
|
ooh cool tanka
perfect satori center line
great imagery of tangled in the sheets in a heat wave
last line i kinda tripped over
dripping lust my bed aflame
i kept wanting to either put a comma and pause after 'lust' or i wanted to add "bed's"
dripping lust, my bed aflame
dripping lust my bed's aflame
than again, it could be just me lol
still a great tanka
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
-
I know. I would separate to another line but it's 5 lines. I added a comma.
Thank you very much for your helpful review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from lyenochka
I guess the heat wave is not only in the summer air but internally in the narrator's passion for her lover. You mixed it well in "dripping lust my bed aflame". Great illustrations, too!
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
|
I guess the heat wave is not only in the summer air but internally in the narrator's passion for her lover. You mixed it well in "dripping lust my bed aflame". Great illustrations, too!
Comment Written 21-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
-
Thank you very much, big sister. (*÷*)
Love
Marival
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
As ever, a very sensual and pleasing tanka from your fine pen! The image is beautiful with its Japanese influence and your verse complements it with passion and heat. Thanks for sharing Debbie
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
|
As ever, a very sensual and pleasing tanka from your fine pen! The image is beautiful with its Japanese influence and your verse complements it with passion and heat. Thanks for sharing Debbie
Comment Written 21-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
-
Thank you very much, Debbie. :)
Gypsy hugs
