Saving Mr. Calvin
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Saving Mr. Calvin - Chapter 40"Golf's legacy and future
12 total reviews
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I was thinking the same thing before Kenny said it, watching Dana play in the suit just confirmed that it works.
I like that you decided not to have Dana and Abby verbally duke it out. I had a feeling, reading the last chapter, that Dana was having second thoughts about what she had done anyway, and giving up the suit so easily kind of confirms for me that she just wanted to whole thing behind her.
How do you dry clean something like that, lol? Carefully, I guess. I wouldn't trust my dry cleaners with it.
I see you've posted the next chapter already, but it may take me a few days to read it as my inbox is full and I try to make time to read unknown writers every day.
Have a good weekend.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2023
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I was thinking the same thing before Kenny said it, watching Dana play in the suit just confirmed that it works.
I like that you decided not to have Dana and Abby verbally duke it out. I had a feeling, reading the last chapter, that Dana was having second thoughts about what she had done anyway, and giving up the suit so easily kind of confirms for me that she just wanted to whole thing behind her.
How do you dry clean something like that, lol? Carefully, I guess. I wouldn't trust my dry cleaners with it.
I see you've posted the next chapter already, but it may take me a few days to read it as my inbox is full and I try to make time to read unknown writers every day.
Have a good weekend.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 13-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2023
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Very perceptive, Pam. You'll learn more about the aftermath of the tournament in the next chapter you are saving.
Good point about the dry cleaning! I hadn't thought too much about that.
Comment from royowen
I seemed to remember that's the way it happened preciously, she asked for it back, and Abby received it back without argument, she probably wouldn't have lost the case, because of how well Dana played, and one could have waited until she played again, witnesses would confirm she cheated, it would be enough to ruin her reputation, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2023
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I seemed to remember that's the way it happened preciously, she asked for it back, and Abby received it back without argument, she probably wouldn't have lost the case, because of how well Dana played, and one could have waited until she played again, witnesses would confirm she cheated, it would be enough to ruin her reputation, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2023
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Good memory, Roy. We'll see how it turns out for Dana on Friday.
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She will change,..no? A good theme though.
Comment from lyenochka
I'm proud of Abby, too! It seems that some people who really have been through hard childhoods like Abby who was bullied, grow to have the best sense of priorities.
I wonder what she will tell the dry cleaner what it is. Lol. I liked " I think all the foulness in her soul just exuded into it."
I still think Dana should forfeit the championship but like Abby said, it was a "pyrrhic victory."
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2023
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I'm proud of Abby, too! It seems that some people who really have been through hard childhoods like Abby who was bullied, grow to have the best sense of priorities.
I wonder what she will tell the dry cleaner what it is. Lol. I liked " I think all the foulness in her soul just exuded into it."
I still think Dana should forfeit the championship but like Abby said, it was a "pyrrhic victory."
Comment Written 12-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Helen. You'll see on Friday how Dana deals with her "victory."
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Maybe guilt will force her to give the trophy to Abby.
Comment from JSD
Phew! I'm glad that's all sorted then. Lots of wisdom here from Abby. It's rare for people to be so philosophical in such a situation, but a salutary lesson. Great stuff.
John
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2023
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Phew! I'm glad that's all sorted then. Lots of wisdom here from Abby. It's rare for people to be so philosophical in such a situation, but a salutary lesson. Great stuff.
John
Comment Written 12-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2023
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I don't want Dana to get off scot-free, so we'll see on Friday how this episode affected her.
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Oh, cool.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a great chapter as Abby was very forgiving and didn't need to have Dana arrested. All's well that ends well in this case and the great invention worked even for someone who had no directions for how to use it.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2023
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This is a great chapter as Abby was very forgiving and didn't need to have Dana arrested. All's well that ends well in this case and the great invention worked even for someone who had no directions for how to use it.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Carol. I appreciate the good review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is another great chapter carried so well by your excellent dialogue, naturally and, in the beginning, humorously expressed. It also conveys a message of course about Pyrrhic victories and the fact that, although Dana won, her cheating and conscience will undermine any sense of achievement. I enjoyed this, Jim! Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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This is another great chapter carried so well by your excellent dialogue, naturally and, in the beginning, humorously expressed. It also conveys a message of course about Pyrrhic victories and the fact that, although Dana won, her cheating and conscience will undermine any sense of achievement. I enjoyed this, Jim! Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 11-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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Thanks so much, Debbie. We'll find out in the next posting how Dana coped with this "victory."
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this addition to your novel with us. I enjoyed reading. I like the way Abby handled this. I also smiled at the phonebook reference. Does anyone still use phone books? Maybe in 2002.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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Thank you for sharing this addition to your novel with us. I enjoyed reading. I like the way Abby handled this. I also smiled at the phonebook reference. Does anyone still use phone books? Maybe in 2002.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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Yeah, it's been many years since I've used a phonebook, but I guess we were still using them in 2002.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well that mystery was solved and settled. Except that Dana needed slapped, at least. (smiley face here)
Nicely written. Good work.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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Well that mystery was solved and settled. Except that Dana needed slapped, at least. (smiley face here)
Nicely written. Good work.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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I kind of agree with you that Dana should be slapped, but you'll see in the next posting why I didn't end this episode that way. This part of the story is actually a jump into my previous novel called Some Call It Luck that I posted at the beginning of the year. I didn't want to change the story too much from that.
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Wow you're really coming along with this book, a 81%. Wow, that's impressive, I'm impressed!
You have really good character development. I mean, it's like it could be happening right now.
I thank you for the background information you gave me too. And your notes are perfect. By the way, I think this is a lot of fun. You've got a really good story going here. I'd like to see how it's done! I see, no issues with grammar, spelling, sentence structure, punctuation esthetics. I gotta go back and start from the beginning though. So I completely understand everything that's going on. He explained about the suit and alien technology and stuff, so that's awesome! Keep on writing carry on, you gotta good one here. Thank you again for this submission and allowing me to read along, have a great day!
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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Wow you're really coming along with this book, a 81%. Wow, that's impressive, I'm impressed!
You have really good character development. I mean, it's like it could be happening right now.
I thank you for the background information you gave me too. And your notes are perfect. By the way, I think this is a lot of fun. You've got a really good story going here. I'd like to see how it's done! I see, no issues with grammar, spelling, sentence structure, punctuation esthetics. I gotta go back and start from the beginning though. So I completely understand everything that's going on. He explained about the suit and alien technology and stuff, so that's awesome! Keep on writing carry on, you gotta good one here. Thank you again for this submission and allowing me to read along, have a great day!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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Thanks so much, Lea. I'm happy this grabbed your interest. If you'd rather just have a complete synopsis of the book up to this point rather than read it from the start, I could provide that to you in a message. Just let me know.
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That would be cool if you don't mind doing that, that would be great, thank you!
Comment from Frank Malley
I read this as an excerpt, and that's always a problem for any reader. However, the flow and cause/effect in this chapter work well. Again, keeping my first remark in mind, choosing a both happy relationships and happy outcome usually takes the steam out of a story. Conflict floats the boat of storytelling.
I am left wondering: what are the features of a golf suit that improves your score?
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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I read this as an excerpt, and that's always a problem for any reader. However, the flow and cause/effect in this chapter work well. Again, keeping my first remark in mind, choosing a both happy relationships and happy outcome usually takes the steam out of a story. Conflict floats the boat of storytelling.
I am left wondering: what are the features of a golf suit that improves your score?
Comment Written 11-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023
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Welcome to the story, Frank.
The suit fits over your body and guides a proper swing. It's got over a thousand miniature servo-motors sewed into it plus some regular electric motors and hydraulics which press against your various body parts and urge you to swing a pre-programmed way with many allowances for your body type, size, age, etc. You can override what it's guiding you to do, but you'll probably mishit the ball if you do. If you practice with it enough, the correct swing becomes ingrained, and you will play better. This is totally made-up; there is nothing like this available, and this takes place in 2002.
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Cool. Given my golf scores, I'll take the Swing Supreme model.