Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

If the best part of the day is yet to come, and I can't wait for what happens later.

A good chapter, Jim. You moved us through the competition at a good pace, and threw in a bit of a twist when Abby chose not to turn her in on the spot. How will she get the suit back? Stay tuned . . .

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2023

Thanks, Pam. I'm glad the pacing of the match was about right, and it didn't get too tedious for a non-golfer. Two more chapters to find out the full resolution of the fate of the suit and the perpetrator of the crime.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I knew it! And everyone knew it. But Abby is smart. She doesn't want to tell the whole world about the new invention yet. But I wonder why the "best part of the day is still coming... Perhaps Dana may give up her trophy?

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023

Very good instincts, Helen, as you'll see over the next few chapters!

Comment from lancellot

Exceptional

Hmm, I feel like I've read this before, or maybe I'm just getting too familiar with your golfing buddies. Anyway, this is well written, and we'll see how the confrontation is handled.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023

You have read this before. This story jumps into Some Call It Luck at the time when the suit was invented. That becomes an important factor when we get into Part 4 coming soon.

Thanks for the good review and the 6 stars too.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

There seems to be a bit more detail to the match in this championship meet, but Abby still loses, which says a lot for her invention. I don't remember the rest of the day, apparently.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023

It's a little different than in the previous story, but not by much. Kenny wasn't there for the Sunday round in the previous version, but since this part of the story has him as the narrator, I thought I should change that.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

I didn't understand why they didn't know as soon as the last putts were made that Dana had one by one stroke. I know it had to be made official, but the facts wouldn't change. This just niggled at me a while, but didn't make this any less effective as a chapter. Something was going to happen that would make the afternoon the best part of the day. I wonder what ol' Jim is keeping from us!

Jay

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023

The reason they didn't know was that someone else might have beat both of them. They wouldn't know the final results until they posted their scores. This was not a finals match where only the two of them were playing, but a full-field event. Perhaps I should make that clearer.

reply by Jay Squires on 10-Oct-2023

No you probably don't need to make it clear to a person with an ounce of sense, lol!
Jay

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

A dishonest win just doesn't sit right on the conscience. Dana may get the trophy, but she isn't going to display it with pride. At least we know the suit works extremely well. Abby is extremely patient, but good things often come to those who bide their time.
Great job showing the interaction between the characters. It helped to build the tension about the outcome.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023

Thank you, debi. This part of the story occurred originally in Some Call It Luck which I posted at the beginning of this year. We have jumped into that story in this one.

In SCIL, Dana had an important role as the exact opposite of Abby who worked hard for everything she got. Dana always attributed Abby's success with being born lucky, but Dana is slowly coming to the realization that it isn't luck that brings Abby success. This event with the tournament becomes a turning point in Dana's life.

reply by w.j.debi on 09-Oct-2023

Good to hear that Dana is learning.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Abby shows a strong character here. I doubt many people would be that upright. I remember how she handles it, and I can't wait until she does. This is a good post.

We know her well enough to know that she will have to work this out on her own. (you can omit 'that')

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023

Thank you, Barbara. I agree. Abby has a maturity that many wouldn't have in a similar situation. Her only goal now is to just get that suit back, preferably undamaged.

Comment from Paul Manton

Excellent

Oho Jim, I can't wait for 'the best part of the day' which has so many Schadenfreude possibilities! Perhaps nailing Dana in her 'suit' to the garage or the golf club door, with Christmas lights spelling out 'I AM A CHEATING BITCH!' But Abby would never do that - would she?

You have got us all going here as you ramped up the frustration - everyone wants action, but Abby continues cool as a cucumber. My guess:
Revenge is a dish best served FROZEN!

Go get her, Jim!

Paul

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023

I am in a bit of a quandary how best to continue this part of the story, which I will make clear in an author's note following my next posting on Wednesday. I hope you will weigh in then, Paul.

Your analysis of Abby's character is right on.

reply by Paul Manton on 09-Oct-2023

I will always weigh in, if invited.
She might of course be electrocuted in a rain storm.
Abby will think of something appropriate - maybe a possibility of salvation for this miscreant? Step down from that sycamore, Dana!

Comment from Lea Tonin1

Excellent

The suit well, look it's more and more mysterious. And interesting to have a golf game as the back drop, that's great.
I hope Abby kicks butt all over the place!
This is a very well thought out story a lot and I think that you put your heart into it.
I see no issues with spelling grammar, sentence structure, punctuation or subject matter. I think you really got a handle on something here and I hope to see you continue. I have yourself or amazing day!

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023

Thanks very much, Lea. The story is about 75% complete at this point, but there will still be about 15 more postings until the end. I post 3 times a week.

As a quick recap, if you are interested, this is a time travel story about a young mechanical engineer and his two friends who are lamenting the sorry state of the game in 2032 when the story starts. Golf courses can no longer be watered in California where they live, and can't be fertilized or other routine practices carried out for fear of what they are doing to the environment. Attendance has dropped off by 80%.

They go on 3 different travels to past eras in the history of the game including its invention in 13th century Holland by a 14-year-old shepherd boy and his 13-year-old girlfriend. We then jump to 15th century Scotland where we witness the spread of the game, and we focus on one of the inherent weaknesses in golf--slow play. In this last era, we've jumped to Altoona, Pennsylvania in 2002 where we see the invention of this suit which highlights another weakness in the game--the fact that it is difficult to learn.

The education the 3 friends get during their travels will help them in Part 4 to figure out what to do to preserve the game.

reply by Lea Tonin1 on 09-Oct-2023

Wow, what a great story line I so got to deal with into this. Hope you don't mind me poking around.
Though there was some confusion with the real sun.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Haha! I know you've got something great up your sleeve, Jim! This is a great chapter with excellent dialogue between Abby and Claire, so credible, and speaking exactly what the reader is thinking. What a beastly woman, that Dana Padgett (I'm looking for some significance in the name). Not a word I'd change here. A fun and intriguing episode! Thanks Jim, Debbie

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023

Thanks, Debbie. No particular significance to the name Dana Padgett. She was a high school girl from my youth. I just liked the name.