Reviews from

Ghost

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Time"
Biography/Supernatural

11 total reviews 
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I would have been devastated if any child I knew was like that, the normal instinct of a father who adores his family, particularly daughter is to form an umbrella of protection, and a desire to keep their innocence intact, to allow them to grow up naturally mature with their self esteem intact, believe it or, girls obtain their self esteem from a loving father. Beautifully written, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2023


reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
    Thank you so much for I appreciate this and you and I hope that you have. The best christmas of wonderful new year and an awesome evening as well! Thanks again my friend!
reply by royowen on 22-Dec-2023
    Most welcome
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well is so hard when we go through life like is not about us, but I totally understand the numbness and the reason to forget. Thank you for sharing yet another piece of your heart. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2023


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
    Further to my email I thank you so much again for this fine rating and review! I hope you have a wonderful holiday filled with love and laughter and a great new year too!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
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In this chapter, the idea of fighting back and self-preservation seems to increase and decrease. It seems like perpetual depression was the result of all the abuse you had gone through. I have another acquaintance who wrote a book about being abused as a young girl by really perverse neighbors down the street. I believe she did not have any desire whatsoever to even think of getting married until after age 60.

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2023


reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
    I understand that completely. I thank you for sharing that with me. Trust is a tough thing when all one learns is how not to trust. Thank you for another fine review and for sharing this with me. I hope you have the best evening!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
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Whereas most children would be frightened of what hides in the fog, to you it seems it was a comfort. Because you were not shown love the sadness the despair was your constant emotions. Desperately sad Lea.
Cheers
Valda

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2023
    I appreciate your support and your compassion I really do. I'm hoping to turn crap into gold by hopefully helping someone else or saving some kids childhood.
    I'm very grateful that you are here and offer me your support and kind words, thank you again!
Comment from JSD
Excellent
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You continue to horrify us with your tales. I look forward to a time when things are brighter for you, some light at the end of the tunnel? Thank you, again, for being so brave to share these terrible memories. John x

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
    Yes, once I wade through the mud. There will be some victories. There will be some setbacks such as the flow of life. However, my parents never did have to account for the things they did. So I have to find some sort of resolution in a healthy way. And this is for me the way to do it. I hope to publish and I hope that. If anyone's helped it is a victory, thank you again for reading and hanging in there, John, and for your fine review have an amazing day!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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This is a very chilling and heart-breaking account of this stage in your life when your depression was such that you seem to have lost all agency and sense of survival. So depleted, unloved and undermined by your horrific life at home, the world seemed to lose any prospect of hope and future assurance. And yet, there was an emerging voice of anger that was the only thing on which you could hang the possibility of self-belief. Maybe an epiphany moment? Well done, Lea and good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
    You're absolutely right, incredibly right? Actually, it was an Epiphany moment. And I knew that my anger could hold me through. But I also knew that I can't hang on to anger. My whole life either. Although at times I still feel the blood boil as my parents never had to account for what they did.
    This for me is free because I know if one or more of them read it. They'll know who I'm talking about. Although I provided no names, no dates. It's easy to figure out though. Once they read the author's name so I have no intention of changing that., but they will.
    It is something to shine the spotlight on people who need it. Thank you again Debbie, thank you so much for the fine review. I appreciate your comments very, very insightful indeed!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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It is understandable that you were reckless because when no one cares about you, then you do not care about yourself either. I am glad you gained some self respect in the end Lea and did not allow anything bad happen to you. Your post is honest and revealing, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
    Thank you, Dolly appreciate your reviews I always do. Yes, it was hard growing up. There's no denying it, and there are some successes. And there are some setbacks, however, that is the rhythm of life. But as far as the story goes, there will be changes coming and soon. Maybe not necessarily for the better, but it's definitely different, so thank you again. Have a great day!
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
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That certainly was a dangerous time for you, Lea. Being pushed to the point where it didn't seem to matter to you whether you lived or died, and taking all those chances without regard to what could happen was very frightening to read. It's so sad it had gotten to that point in your young life. How unfortunate your sister also tattled on you especially for something you didn't even do. Makes me wonder what her motivation was for that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just a few remarks about commas. I know the tendency today is for authors to use fewer commas than before, but I think there are two times when almost all authors will use them.

1. To separate two complete clauses that have subjects, verbs, and objects that are connected with a conjunction like "and," "or," and "but." Here's an example where you should have used a comma after "lungs":

I listened to the sergeant yell at the top of his lungs and I marched to the beat that they set for us.

Note that you would not need a comma after lungs if you had left out the second "I" because it wouldn't have been a complete clause, but I don't recommend writing it like that because it would almost sound like the sergeant was the one marching.

2. The second is to separate 3 or more things in a list. These can either be a list of things (which you consistently already do) or clauses. In the following, you should use a comma after "door," and "hook," although some style guides say that the final comma in a list of 3 or more is optional.

I walked in the door hung my jacket on the hook and left my shoes on the landing.


 Comment Written 08-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2023
    Jim thank you so much! I so appreciate your advice and for the examples you've given is very helpful. I have made it the changes you have suggested thank you! I am an amateur writer so any advice I can get as greatly appreciated!
    Thank you too, for your review as always. Your compassion shines through and this, too, is like gold! Have an awesome night!
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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This man seemed a little crazy. It isn't like surgar was that expensive. I've heard of people not wanting in the house because of health reasons, but hiding in from the kids so he could have it himself makes no sense. Any one with any sense would never hit a child in the face or with their fist. I wonder what his background was like. He must have been abused himself. People like him should be put away. Your mom should never have allowed it. I like the bit about the champagne making you want to write it all down. Writing is the best therapy I know. To survive all your recklessness, it is a wonder you survived. Excellent writing.


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 Comment Written 08-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2023
    Beth thank you so much. I appreciate it really part of the problem with my stepfather. Is he had a whipped temper? It was so severe with a lash out quickly, but his lash was dangerous. Thank you again for following along and for reading. I appreciate your kind review and I'm always happy to receive it. Thank you for your compassion, and for your heartfelt comments have a great night!
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This man seemed a little crazy. It isn't like surgar was that expensive. I've heard of people not wanting in the house because of health reasons, but hiding in from the kids so he could have it himself makes no sense. Any one with any sense would never hit a child in the face or with their fist. I wonder what his background was like. He must have been abused himself. People like him should be put away. Your mom should never have allowed it. I like the bit about the champagne making you want to write it all down. Writing is the best therapy I know. To survive all your recklessness, it is a wonder you survived. Excellent writing.


This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2023
    Thank you again!