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Saving Mr. Calvin

Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Saving Mr. Calvin - Ch. 38/39A"
Golf's legacy and future

14 total reviews 
Comment from w.j.debi
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I read these out of order. So, that is how the suit was lost and now we suspect the culprit. I don't know whether working on the suit is really punishment since Claire will gain some great practice putting it together. LOL. Sort of a win-win in this case.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
    Well, that's a unique way of looking at it. Not sure Claire would buy it, but she won't have a choice in the matter.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
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Aha! Me thinks me know the "inkling of a thought" Kenny finished the day with! Of course, you can't really say Dana is cheating, because Abby was doing the same thing to play better. But you could get her butt tossed in jail for theft:-)

I guess we'll find out tomorrow. Until then . . .

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2023
    I must demur about your definition of cheating! What Dana was doing using the suit (oops, I gave it away!) was absolutely cheating because the Rules of Golf disallow use of training aids while playing. Abby, however, was not cheating simply by practicing with it.
Comment from JSD
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I'm guessing in American, you use a 'c' all the time for 'practice'? In the UK we have a 'c' for the noun, 'practice', but an 's' for the verb, 'practise' or 'practising'. Like 'choose' and 'choice'. Ok, nerdy English teacher moment over.

As for the story, it had to go wrong. Silly Claire. But it is obviously Dana who has stolen it and is wearing it now. So I look forward to the revelation and the disqualification!

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2023
    Exactly so with the British vs American spelling of practice and practise. Just one of many differences between our versions of English.

    Everything was going smoothly with the suit. It was time to shake things up a bit. This suit will be figuring heavily in Part 4 coming up soon.
reply by JSD on 07-Oct-2023
    Cool!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
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This seems like the same chapter in the earlier book repeated. Have you changed the POV? I don't remember Keny becoming suspicious, so that is different.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
    Yes, in fact, Kenny wasn't at the tournament in the other book. He was in Boston at the golf show with Eddie. Because this story is written in first person from Kenny's POV, I had to insert him into the story. This part is very much the same, though, other than that.
Comment from Jay Squires
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You're kind of backing into the theft angle instead of the way you did it before by developing Abby's and Dana's toxic past ahead of time. This way is better because we suspect without knowing that Dana has something to do with the theft. A couple of things, mostly of a positive nature:

and have lunch with her at home, [minor, but you don't need this last "at home" since it was mentioned earlier in the same sentence.]

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry this has happened, but it's not the end of the world or the project. It's just a temporary setback, but we'll manage it." [wow, Kenny is a saint!]

In the end, we compromised and decided to require that she work it off during the next three weeks before school starts again by putting in 36 hours of work helping to rebuild the suit. [That would be great punishment with the punishment more directly linked to the "crime".]

They ended up halving this hole [Halving?]

An inkling of a thought crossed my mind then, but I didn't really pursue it. [And really, how could you ... short of feeling Dana up?!]

Good job, Jim!


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
    You are building up to my eventual question about Dana and the suit nicely with your remarks.

    Good catch about "at home." Thanks!

    "Halve" is the term used when the hole is tied. ("They halved the hole" is the way you say it.) I guess it comes from the fact that each person wins half the value of the hole? They don't actually give out points for a halve; the score stays the same, so if you were 3 holes up and then halve the next hole, you are still 3-up.
Comment from royowen
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Ahh, I remember that Dana was the thief, but as the day warmed everyone else was discarding layers of clothing but Dana was not, and that's how it was uncovering the theft, beautifully written Jim, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
    You remember correctly, Roy. The only real difference here is that Kenny was not there for the round; he was still in Boston at the golf show with Eddie. I had to change that for this story because it is from his point of view.
reply by royowen on 06-Oct-2023
    Yep, I forgot that subtlety
Comment from lyenochka
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Oh, I know! Dana stole the suit! Now the sun has to come out and reveal a bit of that suit. But would she be able to use the suit without the programming? The code is in Abby's computer/iPad, right? Guess we'll find out on Monday!

I liked the fitting punishment for Claire to make her pay with time and effort and in the process, she will value the suit that she's working on.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
    Good instincts! The suit does have the correct software in it now (not the dance steps!) so it should be possible for someone else to use the suit. Each time you put it on, you have to either bring up an existing named set of parameters if you have one that you saved, or you have to enter them yourself (height, weight, body type, etc.)
reply by lyenochka on 06-Oct-2023
    Darn! I think Abby should have the dance moves take over. Now wouldn't that be a shock to Dana...
Comment from Tom Horonzy
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I see a culmination taking place and wonder if poetry can take It's place ... and another thing, can you not be satisfied being number seven? I don t know where I am ranked
But rankled for
Not having more
Fans where occasionally I can get 26
Atta boys

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
    We're not quite at the culmination point just yet. We've still got 13 more chapters and 25% of the way to go still.

    Honestly, I don't look at the rankings. It's just a measure of how many postings you do, I think.
Comment from Kaiku
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I wanted to give a review although I had already been privy to the work in a previous offering. It's good, I guess, to offer reviews for the element of recognition. Not that your writing needs it! Haha.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
    Thanks, Kevin. Pretty soon we'll be getting back to unfamiliar territory and we'll learn how this bit fits into the whole picture.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
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Nicely written.
I don't know if I told you or not, but I hit a golf ball exactly one time, at the insistence of my son and one of my brothers, who both play. It went straight, but not very far. I don't plan to spoil my average.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
    Smart man!