Ghost
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Navigation"Biography/Supernatural
18 total reviews
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, Lea,
How you survived years of physical, emotional, and mental abuse at the hands of your parents is beyond my comprehension.
Powerful, moving, and incredibly disturbing.
A number of edits needed, if I may:
1. Writing about the time we tried to run away left mew feeling a but simultaneously victorious. (Need to revamp this entire sentence for clarity.)
2. Our stepfather was of a different ethnicity --the only person that was true of on the entire island. (Same here = revamping for clarity needed.)
3.Every other child in school brought nutricious (nutritious) and wore decent clothing.
4. Our parents pitted (us) against each other.
5. This only made him madder. (This only increased his anger.)
6. And oh (oh,) how it flew.
Thank you for sharing, Lea!
Best Wishes!
diane
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Good morning, Lea,
How you survived years of physical, emotional, and mental abuse at the hands of your parents is beyond my comprehension.
Powerful, moving, and incredibly disturbing.
A number of edits needed, if I may:
1. Writing about the time we tried to run away left mew feeling a but simultaneously victorious. (Need to revamp this entire sentence for clarity.)
2. Our stepfather was of a different ethnicity --the only person that was true of on the entire island. (Same here = revamping for clarity needed.)
3.Every other child in school brought nutricious (nutritious) and wore decent clothing.
4. Our parents pitted (us) against each other.
5. This only made him madder. (This only increased his anger.)
6. And oh (oh,) how it flew.
Thank you for sharing, Lea!
Best Wishes!
diane
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Thank you Diane what a wonderful review and I say any suggestions for edit are like gold to me and very precious so I thank you for those too after all how else do we learn my apologies for responding so late I have been away in the mountains looking for a new home perception isn't the best so thank you again I hope you have a great day!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I wonder how no neighbor or teacher saw you and did nothing against the abuse. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the next chapter.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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I wonder how no neighbor or teacher saw you and did nothing against the abuse. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the next chapter.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2024
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Good morning thank you very much for your kind of review yes that is a long story about why things came about as they did which is part of the chapters in my story I won't spoil it for you thank you so much again my apologies for my lateness I hope you have a wonderful day!
Comment from Julie Lau
Dear Lea, how brave you are to write all this down. I, too, have begun my autobiography, (currently stalled) but the bad experiences unsettle me too much, and I have decided to enter only the pleasant and amusing times: it seems like you got all too few of those; so sad for you.
Salutations, brave girl, Julie
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Dear Lea, how brave you are to write all this down. I, too, have begun my autobiography, (currently stalled) but the bad experiences unsettle me too much, and I have decided to enter only the pleasant and amusing times: it seems like you got all too few of those; so sad for you.
Salutations, brave girl, Julie
Comment Written 31-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Thank you Julie I appreciate your comments I really am thankful and honored to have your review and for the great rating as well I understand the stop install portion of writing an autobio I did at the beginning as well too and once the barreI was uncorked, I could stop the flow. After that, it's kind of like peeling and onion and every time I write it's like taking a layer off the onion. Takes some of the power g away. Thank you again I hope you had the best New year and that all you wish for in 2024!
Comment from Wendy G
Your story is a powerful one and worth y of being read widely. Suggestions for punctuation are below, and several of the following sentences don't contain verbs, which would be good to add.
Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Edits: It was a summer day I was standing ... (full stop after "day")
"who was my father?" ("Who ...)
avoid getting beat up by the other kids only to face the fire at home. (comma after "kids")
One particularly cruel act was pretending to punch us watching us cower, and then laughing about it. (comma after "... punch us")
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Your story is a powerful one and worth y of being read widely. Suggestions for punctuation are below, and several of the following sentences don't contain verbs, which would be good to add.
Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Edits: It was a summer day I was standing ... (full stop after "day")
"who was my father?" ("Who ...)
avoid getting beat up by the other kids only to face the fire at home. (comma after "kids")
One particularly cruel act was pretending to punch us watching us cower, and then laughing about it. (comma after "... punch us")
Comment Written 30-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Hi Wendy thank you so much for your kind review I hope you had a wonderful Christmas I hope your New year's was great as well and may all your wishes come true for 2024!
Your suggestions for edit or like gold to me how else do we learn without the exchange of ideas and suggestions thank you very much for that gift I appreciate you reading and offering your comments and your fine writing too hope you have a great New year's Day!
Comment from patcelaw
I was thrilled to listen to your story. Your story has some very difficult things that you had to experience for that I am very sorry, but the one claim of hope that I see in your story is that God must've been really good to you to give you those voices in your head, that you let that let you know that certain things are wrong. I identify with some of it. Other parts are very difficult for me to understand. I wish you the very best with all of your writing and may you have a marvelous beautiful and wonderful Christmas and a wonderful, happy and prosperous new year. God bless you my friend. Patricia.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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I was thrilled to listen to your story. Your story has some very difficult things that you had to experience for that I am very sorry, but the one claim of hope that I see in your story is that God must've been really good to you to give you those voices in your head, that you let that let you know that certain things are wrong. I identify with some of it. Other parts are very difficult for me to understand. I wish you the very best with all of your writing and may you have a marvelous beautiful and wonderful Christmas and a wonderful, happy and prosperous new year. God bless you my friend. Patricia.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Thank you, Patricia. I hope you have a wonderful holiday too. And that the new year brings you wonderful things! Thank you for your kind review too and for reading along I appreciate it So very much happy holidays!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I must have missed this chapter first time around Lea and it is full of horror. It is shocking that a five year old would want to die and have disregard for themselves like this.
Missing word here:
My stepfather did not (let) anyone to enter our bubble
A chilling tale from your past Lea and I hope you can put it all into perspective now and know that your parents were unstable and misguided, uncaring and despicable people bordering on criminal. Love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
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I must have missed this chapter first time around Lea and it is full of horror. It is shocking that a five year old would want to die and have disregard for themselves like this.
Missing word here:
My stepfather did not (let) anyone to enter our bubble
A chilling tale from your past Lea and I hope you can put it all into perspective now and know that your parents were unstable and misguided, uncaring and despicable people bordering on criminal. Love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
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Thank you again Dolly! I agree with every word you said they need to remember this despicable criminal people. Once again, you're insight and you're clear. Understanding is refreshing and welcome and very much appreciated. Thanks again. Hope you have a most wonderful holiday and a great evening and a happy new year too!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A mixture of emotions and a trembling hand and heart I'm sure Lea. It takes great courage to revisit those awful years and share them.
My stepfather did not (want) anyone to enter our bubble.
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2023
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A mixture of emotions and a trembling hand and heart I'm sure Lea. It takes great courage to revisit those awful years and share them.
My stepfather did not (want) anyone to enter our bubble.
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2023
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You understand so much from your own experience. Just couldn't have been fun for which I empathize. Empathy and compassion when seeing it in others a kindred spirit if you will creates healing in some ways I think. Thank you so much again for your review and insightful words. I appreciate you sharing with me too! Have a great night!
Comment from pome lover
another horror story of your suffering. I should have started with earlier entries -- instead, I'm going backwards. It makes me cringe, just reading what you have gone through, and your sisters. This is your real mother?
Not an ounce of love or protection? And the school, why didn't someone investigate your situation?
I am sure it is hard to write about, but as I believe you said in the last chapter you had a feeling of release.
I will read more later. Going to bed.
Katharine
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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another horror story of your suffering. I should have started with earlier entries -- instead, I'm going backwards. It makes me cringe, just reading what you have gone through, and your sisters. This is your real mother?
Not an ounce of love or protection? And the school, why didn't someone investigate your situation?
I am sure it is hard to write about, but as I believe you said in the last chapter you had a feeling of release.
I will read more later. Going to bed.
Katharine
Comment Written 05-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much. I hope you rest well and thank you for reading! Have a great night thank you again!
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Bless you! You are most welcome.
Comment from Thesis
It's astounding that no one was able to help you, that your mother was powerless to protect her children, and that the monster you lived with was so vile. I cannot fathom this kind of cruelty and neglect, while so many looked the other way and did not try to protect you and your sisters.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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It's astounding that no one was able to help you, that your mother was powerless to protect her children, and that the monster you lived with was so vile. I cannot fathom this kind of cruelty and neglect, while so many looked the other way and did not try to protect you and your sisters.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Yes, it was a long time before anything happened. But the evil maneuver my parents pulled to get out of it made us give up entirely. But that is in a future chapter? We do come out of it. Albeit somewhat damaged in the end but I hope with this writing reverses some of the damage and if it helps someone else, then I've done what I set up to do. Thank you again so much for reading and providing a wonderful review! I appreciate you very much. Thank you again!
Comment from LJbutterfly
I'm glad you are continuing your devastating story. I'm sorry you and your sisters experienced such a horrible childhood, but I'm glad that now that you are an adult, you can remember and express the terrifying thoughts and feelings of a child. Childhood trauma effects the way children see and process life forever. As a youngster, you saw that there was no one to hold you and reassure you that everything was going to be alright. I'm sure your story is helping others, whether they tell you or not. I wish you the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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I'm glad you are continuing your devastating story. I'm sorry you and your sisters experienced such a horrible childhood, but I'm glad that now that you are an adult, you can remember and express the terrifying thoughts and feelings of a child. Childhood trauma effects the way children see and process life forever. As a youngster, you saw that there was no one to hold you and reassure you that everything was going to be alright. I'm sure your story is helping others, whether they tell you or not. I wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much for your insight and for your kind comments and I appreciate your heartfelt response as well. I thank you for your kind review and for stopping by 2 read as it is a hard but necessary thing to bring to light one woman's story of survival....thank you!!