Reviews from

Scenes at a Third Party

Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Scene at a Third Party 18"
A third party for President 2024

5 total reviews 
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

D-Red has a sick since of humor. Why doesn't he stick to insects? Is he the one who turned Ged into a Zombie? It looks like the campaign is worse that the Dems and the Reps. There may be Zombies running loose because yesterday according to the dark web everyone who had taken the covid vaccine was supposed to turn into a zombie when the alarm tests went off. That makes me a zombie too, but so far I have no appetite for brains. Poor AB. I think he and his alterego has had a dirty trip played on them.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 05-Oct-2023
    D-red used to be Red, an evil cousin of Ned. He was destroyed by DED and made into the dead bug collector.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

To this gruesome post I have one response, Aarrgh! Ooh, how awful. I have not yet had my breakfast, you have now completely spoiled my appetite. Thanks a lot.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
    This plot point will likely affect both GED and AB's chances to wim employee of the week.
reply by nomi338 on 04-Oct-2023
    You think?
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think I might have to work backwards here, Bill. Your final narrative is superb. I love those sound effects and the exclamation at the end. Zombie GED is striking and eating brains (if he can find them!) These are my favourite characters with their silliness which is a lovely contrast with the not quite so silly political interviewing. This is such an original and imaginative script that is keeping me engaged in a mixture of confusion and hilarity. There are some small edits (never really know if they're intentional): "third par(t)y campaign; "or almost eve(r)y one.." But thank you, Bill, this is always a refreshing change from the norm! Debbie

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
    It's been building slowly since the Presidential election is still over a year away. I have a tendency to overpopulate the cast for more plot potential.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an excellent script story. I enjoyed reading it and I particularly like how you separate the dialogue with colors. That was helpful. Your presentation is very good, too. You also use descriptive words and colorful imagery and dialogue that supports the story and that draw in a reader.
Best wishes!
Alexandra


 Comment Written 04-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
    Thank you, Alexandra.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So GED as a zombie is now assigned to get the brains of his good friends? It's good that he's picked off AB first. So no more shenanigans from him. Maybe GED-zombie will be able to get rid of more of those in Congress and the Senate...

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
    No, not Congress. He needs brains.