Reviews from

Miranda's Trouble In Paradise

Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Fear and Burgers"
Miranda tries to find Dougie.

18 total reviews 
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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That sounds ominous! Who the heck has he employed that would worry him so much. Yes, he scared of Miranda, LOL. I think he has every right to be. I am going straight to the next part. Well done, Gretchen, I want to catch up now. I've nearly finished Sins of My Father. Onward! :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2023


reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
    Matt was afraid she would scare the kid off. Thanks again. Gretchen
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
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This drop-dead funny. Why doesn't she get someone to read the letters for her to look for a clue about Dougie? If I were her, I would get a box of wine, clear the trailer, and read and toss, read and toss. If there was a clue to Dougie in there she would never forgive herself. Then, burn all those suckers up. Karen

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 02-Oct-2023
    She knows Missy won't give up whatever happened to Dougie. It's a game of control with Missy. Miranda knows this. And Miranda not reading them makes her feel in control. Those two are connected in an odd way. Thanks for this. Gretchen
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Dear, Gretchen,

I love Miranda, she is a smart cookie and nothing goes past her. You are an exceptional writer, I like the way you engage the reader in the story from the beginning until the end. Well done.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
    Thank you so much. I'm happy you are enjoying this. Gretchen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hmmmm! Now THIS is an interesting twist! Miranda is so funny --loving the fact that her boss is afraid of her!! hahahaha. What's cool about her, though, is that she won't "abuse" that power; she just enjoys having it. And Rita is such a character. Who among us doesn't have a Rita in their lives. You make her vivid and relatable. (You are masterful at character development.)

As always, a wonderful chapter that moves the story along while providing enjoyable moment-to-moment reading. This was my favorite part this time. I loved the anticipation of it:

Rita pauses. It's never a good thing when Rita calls, in the first place. But, when she's hesitating, shit, it's usually bad news.'

I could feel myself physically reading faster. Now THAT's the sign that a writer has done some seriously good work. That's you, Miss Talent...AGAIN!! xoxox


 Comment Written 01-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
    Thank you, Rachelle. I do love your reviews, even when you Jewish mother nag me. And usually, it's on a piece that I half assed. Lol. Something is coming up soon in Miranda's story that's going to rock her world. That's all I'm going to say. Can't wait for that review. Gretchen
reply by Rachelle Allen on 01-Oct-2023
    Ooooh! My curiosity is duly piqued! CAN'T WAIT! xoxoxo
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was a good read. So glad her boss was concerned about looking after Miranda. You wonder if he knew more than he let on? Still enjoy this story, keep it coming.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
    She might intimidate Matt, but he knows she needs protection. Thank you so much for this excellent review. Gretchen
Comment from w.j.debi
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm still laughing. Miranda certainly doesn't let things get past her. Of course, the first part of the chapter was the exact opposite emotionally. You do a great job making that roller coaster seem natural.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2023
    Thank you so much for this exceptional rating and review. Miranda is all over the place when it comes to her feelings. Gretchen
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Excellent
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This is an excellent chapter. I enjoyed reading it. Your presentation is very good, too. You also use descriptive words and authentic dialogues that draw in a reader.

Best wishes!

Alexandra


 Comment Written 30-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2023
    Thank you so much for this. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
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Miranda. God, but I love her! And that doesn't happen much with me for fictional pieces, Gretchen. You have a special closeness with your readers. I don't know quite yet whether I like your direct "whispering" in your readers' ears stuff like, "Come on, you all know what I'm going to choose." It kinda pulls me out of the illusion you've been so carefully creating with Miranda. But you still bring it off. I'm kind of of the mind that you should either ditch it or double up on it. You know what I mean?

Great chapter, girl!

Jay

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2023
    I'll be honest. I wasn't sure about it myself. Felt kind of Ferris Buehler ish. Might lose it. Still thinking on it. Glad you enjoyed this. Gretchen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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LOL poor Rita. LOL I so like this story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Momma says that she sends the letters as a way of staying in my life. (you can omit 'that')

He frowns before continuing. "But you don't open them and read them." (comma after 'continuing)

hired a high school body guard for me, (bodyguard)

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2023
    Thanks, Barbara. I'm so glad you are enjoying Miranda's story. I appreciate the editing help as well. Gretchen
Comment from Ric Myworld
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The oh, shit, is always the dead giveaway that something isn't right. And then when threats of death come shortly thereafter, you know they really aren't right. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2023
    Thanks, Ric. Oh shit, is never a good thing. Lol. Gretchen