Comment from
Daylily
The ocean has a strong pull on our emotions. It is powerful, but also can be very beautiful. The internal rhyme used in the last line of your posting is very nice.
There are several typos in this writing. If you choose to fix them, let me know and I will be happy to adjust the rating. The following lines need some attention:
-- Ocean s calling out in ain.
I think this is supposed to be Ocean is calling out in pain.
-- Warmly shes awaiting for her demise
Should be Warmly she is awaiting her demise (or, she is waiting for her demise)
-- Now just a motion within God's *OCEAN.
Typically, an explanatory asterisk is placed after the word (or after a sentence) and not before it.
Again, I will be glad to update the rating if you make corrections.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2023
You do have my permission to review it but an extra star is absolutely not necessary.
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my work.
Doctor Ricky 1024
"Still Preaching to the Choir Here at Fanstory"
Comment from
royowen
The ocean is a place of vastness and yet mystery. It dwells somewhere in the place of the vast seas of the mind and mood, where the denizens of the deep wait in expectation, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 29-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2023
Thanks for you and always a pleasure to see your name and have you come aboard!
Doctor Ricky
reply by royowen on 30-Sep-2023